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Creative Nonfiction Fantasy Teens & Young Adult

The candle flickered with every wind that comes by, seeing the flame only makes my time here slower. Being told to become the next one was always the topic, become what's better, become what will bring you peace.

Walking on the dark cold road, the street lamps slowly got blown away, even their flames were no match for the wind.

I looked down at my candle to see it dancing with the wind, slowly I could see images of my family popping up. The flame shows the truth inside you, each time it dances for you, it shows how you feel, take in each dance with a message.

My eyes began to freeze but my legs kept moving, stopping meant I'm not ready to inherit the power of the flames. Keeping this candle lit shows my dedication.

My father always told me to keep thinking of the things I love, and the flame will only dance with my memories. Looking up I could see snow before me, covering the roads to the houses. The people inside seemed to snicker at me, I could hear their words, telling each other I will never be able to handle the power.

When I was born I was always the weaker child, but I had the confidence of a bear my mother use to tell me that I was soon to be stronger than a mere bear.


The wind seemed to grow weaker with each step, I was finally warming up the road, this was part of the test, grow the heat of your flame to burn away the ice and snow.

Smiling but I had to keep focus. When I was barely able to talk, my mother told me how my father was about to heat up the whole town, causing the snow and ice to become water, now he's one of the best flame manipulators there was. When I was able to walk, he always gave me a candle to practice on, but I never knew what it mean to put energy into your candle, all I did was hope for the best and held it tightly. My feet began to blister, and walking barefooted was part of the test.

If you can't deal with the cold, who says you can defeat it?

The middle of winter was always the testing time, especially once it was night. I sang a song my mother always sang to me, it was a calling for children to gather and sing along. Even though I forgot the lyrics, it was always amusing to hum them.

I closed my eyes as I tried to put more energy into the candle. 

Below me I felt the snow become water and then vapor, I smiled but kept going. Finally burning through the snow below me I kept walking.


Maybe if I start small I could catch up to my father's heat

I remember my brothers before me, they were never able to even keep the candle lit, but one almost did the same as our father. He warmed up half the town.


Me?


I want to do it my own way, I want to warm up the whole town, just like my father did when he did it.

This was my fourth time trying to be more powerful than him, but all those failures were just experiences, I was going to finally do it, I know it, I can feel it.

Thinking back to when my hands would char and be covered in burning wax, my father was always worried I was overworking myself, but regardless I would practice each and every time I get.

Now my hands were still charred from touching the flames. When I was younger I thought being with the flame would give me a better understanding of its dances. Either way, I was able to get used to the burning. Being a flame manipulator makes you immune to flames, it just takes practice. 

The people in the houses were feeling the heat, but they still doubted me, I could hear a guy yell at me that I should just quit it. I kept going as the man yells, telling me I'll never be like my father, but I'm not taking anything of what he said to heart.

The flame grew bigger with each step, even the heat was able to go farther. My face broke into a sweat, but that just means that I'm achieving what my father did. I'll be just like him. I laughed a bit once I saw the flame growing taller and still dancing with the cold wind.

Everything began to light up, even the guy took off his shirt and stared at me in amazement. Some so many people only saw my dad as the best one there ever be, but I'm here to prove them wrong. I will be the next strongest flame manipulator. So many people love my father, some people were jealous of his power and even tried to murder him. Some believe his offspring will be the next, but not many believe in it. I was walking faster as the flames danced more, I laughed as the flames grew taller than me, even as the candle wax falls on my hands, I didn't care, I was overjoyed with the fact I'm slowly beating my father.


I turned to look at people outside their homes, some with fewer clothes than others, they all smiled and were amazed at the height of the flame.

When I looked in front of me, I could see my father standing a few feet in front of me. With him towering over me even from afar, I could slowly see over him with my flames.

He cheered me on, even as I slowly was taking away his title of the strongest. Eventually, I could see the snow and ice melting away, Even from afar from the other side, you could hear them cheer.


They haven't seen anyone else do this for over 12 years, I finally broke it, and made it just for today.

I sat down my candle as my energy started to slowly release itself from the flame. My dad walked up to me with a smile. Not saying a word he brought me into a hug.

Feeling my legs wobble, he picked me up with a laugh, he was impressed, I loved seeing him be proud of me, especially when it's something this important. He took me down to the kingdom so we could prepare for tomorrow.


"Son, come here." He said as I approached him.

He lied his hand over my shoulder before hugging me again. "Thank you, I was starting to think no one will beat me." He said with a chuckle. He got off before he took me inside the room, where all flame manipulators go to get the marking of the flame. I looked inside to see statues of flames, some bigger than others, a few blue and red. They all had something different about them.

"What color do you want for your flame marking?" my father said as he prepared the needle.

"All of us knows how to use the needle to make the marking, some better than others, but I'll be the one doing yours, all I have to do is dip it into ink and we're set to go on." He said as he looked towards me.

I was always fond of the color blue, it resonated with me more than I can imagine.

"Blue and red," I said with my voice firm with my answer. He smiled at me knowing I'm gaining confidence in the second.

"Come sit."


I sat on the table as he took off my shirt to put the marking on my chest. "When we first get our markings, we show them off to show that we are who we say we are, we are the protectors of this town, understood?"

He said this as the needle slowly stabbed into my skin, I kept my mouth sealed so I could get this over with. "Understood"

I said with as much force as I can.

As he placed the marking he slowly raised up and slapped my stomach. "All set, get up so everyone can see."

I was puzzled when he said everyone, it was the middle of the night, why would anyone come to the field to see me?


Walking up the steps to get to the balcony, I could hear quiet cheering, I started to speed up as the cheering grew louder and louder, I got to the top to see the townspeople all here to see me. The one who beat his own father, someone who is finally showing that there can still be more powerful flame manipulators, I was proof there will be more to come.

I kept a big smile and waved my hand and pointed at my chest, the people screamed louder.

My father finally came before me, he raised his hand, and then everyone grew quiet, not a single noise, they were showing respect to their king.

"We finally found someone who can protect us, someone who is almost if not more powerful than me, even if it's just by a little bit," He said as he looked at me with a smile.

"Bow your heads down for my son, the next person to take my throne, the next strongest flame manipulator, and the next to become the light of this town!"

Everyone cheered once more, they had drinks in their hands, most likely something acholic but who cares? Today was important for me and everyone else.


I made way for my bed and so did everyone else, I climbed into my huge bed with a colorful pattern of cover, fluffy pillow, and even a wooden frame with a pattern of horses.

I could feel my marking pulsing, showing me to always keep the flame lit, and never let a cold wind blow me away. I cuddled my pillow as I drifted away.

"Goodnight," I said to myself.

Let the flame continue.

June 18, 2022 17:38

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5 comments

Mark Sheehan
01:02 Jun 30, 2022

Hi Apollo. A classic story: the son replacing the father. Great world-building. In my world, the father burst into flame because he'd been overtaken! If there is an area for improvement, some of the grammar is askew. Try some of the free online grammar resources (they include tests, so you get feedback). I do one every now and then to stay sharp. Keep them coming. Regards Mark

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Apollo Louidort
03:15 Jul 01, 2022

Thank you!

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Apollo Louidort
03:48 Jul 01, 2022

What type of grammar do I need to work on? genuinely asking.

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Claire Lindsey
22:16 Jun 29, 2022

Hi Apollo, I liked the premise of your story. You’ve got some nice imagery, too, especially at the beginning. Going forward, I’d suggest either reading your stories aloud or running them through an editing program. There were some places where the syntax and grammar got in the way of your world-building and storyline. You’ve got a very creative mind, and I enjoyed the ideas in your story. Keep writing and honing your craft! 😊

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Apollo Louidort
03:15 Jul 01, 2022

Thank you!!

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