The Heartbreak Proposal.

Submitted into Contest #50 in response to: Write a story about a proposal. ... view prompt

6 comments

General

The text came through as I was leaving work. My best friend's boyfriend was asking me to meet him and Laura's family at a park at 8.

I want to surprise her. The text had read. A pang of jealousy rippled through me, as a ring emoji sat next to his words.

I had introduced Laura and Josh Not that I ever thought it would go this far. My plan was to get her to approve of him, to tell me he was right for me, but fate plays it's cruel jokes on the vulnerable. People like me.

I wanted them to become friends, but from the moment I introduced them, things changed. I wasn't the one he liked anymore, though I used to be. Or at least he said I was.

I took a deep breath, and straightened my posture, trying desperately not to let the shattering of my heart show. Driving home seemed to take forever, mostly due to the 5 O'clock traffic. And every single radio station was playing heartbreak songs.

How cliche can it all get?

By the time I reached my flat, it was 6:30, and it takes 20 minutes to get to the park, so I jumped in the shower as fast as I could, and then sat down to dry and style my hair.

I wore a simple flowery dress, with a grey cardigan over it, and slipped on a pair of white pumps.

I made it to the park at 7:40, having grabbed a coffee on the way here. I could see Laura's parents and siblings gathered in the corner, talking to Josh's relatives, and I wandered over to join them, greeting everyone as I reached them.

"Eleanor, look how grown up you are!" Jeanie, Laura's mum, exclaimed, as she pulled me in for a hug.

"Thank you, and you look amazing Jeanie!" I had grown up with her basically acting as my mother, so the first name basis was natural between us.

"You're very kind, but I should probably lay off the cakes!" She laughed, and we continued to make small talk until we all shushed, and Laura and Josh walked into the park.

There was an area that Josh had set up, with fairy lights, and a picnic and we could see them clearly, but their view of us would be obscured.

Laura looked stunning in her wine-red dress. It flowed out at the waist, but was tight at the top, and I couldn't help but think that her ability to always look good was why Josh chose her. We received our cue to move in once Josh began dancing with Laura. It was similar to a book she had read; dancing under the stars to a romantic song, the picnic, even the flowers he had gotten her before they arrived at the park.

They were so good together. I do feel happy for them, but at the same time I resent them. I love them like family, but the way they both chose the other over me made me feel alone, and I felt as though I was losing my two best friends.

Regardless, I put a smile on my face, and ran my hands over my skirt, so that when she turned to see us, I didn't look like I'd been dragged through a hedge.

He got down on one knee as the song finished, and her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

"Laura Millie Hilstone, I have loved you since the day I met you. Seeing your blue eyes for the first time brought feelings to the surface that I had never felt before. Feelings I thought unimaginable. And then you smiled. And in that moment, I knew this day would come." I saw a tear leak down Laura's face, and my own eyes began to burn.

"In the words of the book we bonded over, "My heart is, and always will be, yours." I am so lucky to have you, but I would truly be the luckiest man on earth if you would do me the pleasure of being my wife. So Laura, will you marry me?"

"Oh my god. Yes!" She squealed, and he slipped the ring onto her finger. Everyone began to cheer, and I joined in, ignoring the pain, and focusing my energy on trying to be happy for my friend.

She turned around upon hearing us, and she was beaming with joy.

"Thank you for coming, Ellie." Josh said as he embraced me.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." He chuckled at my response, and I found myself wishing I could hear that sound on repeat forever.

"Nora!" Laura squealed as she bounded over, and I opened my arms ready to catch her. She threw her arms around me, and then began showing me the ring, and complaining about ruining her eye makeup. But then she would start talking about flowers and plans, and my head began pounding.

"Congratulations, Ren!" I giggled enthusiastically. Josh had wandered off, and I didn't even notice until he returned with three plastic champagne flutes, which shared between us. I noticed mine had apple juice in instead, and chuckled, nudging Josh's shoulder.

We clinked glasses, and the excited buzz of chatter rang throughout the whole group. Everyone was so happy about the new engagement, that they didn't notice the latecomer.

"Sorry I'm late JJ, I was stuck in traffic." A voice called out, and we turned to see Josh's brother, Finn, walking over to us, "Damn, did I miss the good bit?"

"Yeah, you did. But i'm sure mum got a video of it." Josh smiled as he bro-hugged Finn. Laura then gave him a gentle hug, and I awkwardly nodded in his direction.

"No hello, trunks?" He teased, and I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

"Hello. Did you want a drink, I can grab you one." I offered, and he accepted.

I made my way to the blanket which had the glasses and the bottle, and poured one for him. As I turned around, I noticed Josh and Laura giving me funny looks as Finn spoke, but I chose to brush it off, and handed him the drink.

"Toast?" Laura smirked at me, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Do I have to, or can I just inadvertently quote Hamilton and hope your family don't notice?" I queried, and she shrugged.

"Go for it."

I stood up straight, clearing my throat, and everyone turned to look at me.

"Laura asked me to do a toast, and any of you that remember my childhood know that i suck at public speaking, so I'll do the best I can. To the soon-to-be groom! And the soon-to-be Bride! From your best friend, I promise to always be by your sides. To your union-" I started, and Laura's family didn't seem to notice, however one person did, because I was interrupted by someone shouting.

"To the revolution!" My eyes scanned the crowd, before landing on Finn, a smirk plastered on his face.

"Right, yeah. So, good luck, and congratulations!" I finished my speech with an awkward bow, and raised my glass, which was followed with a cheer, and synchronised drinking.

"So, trunks, Any men in your life? Or can I finally go for it?"

What the hell?

July 12, 2020 03:19

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6 comments

Al Johnson
21:27 Jul 22, 2020

I liked the story! I was just skimming other stories when this one caught my eyes, and I just couldn't help reading every bit of it!

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Lily Shen
02:34 Jul 20, 2020

The opening lines immediately drew me into the story and the character's conflicted feelings about the proposal. I liked the twist at the end.

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Josh Clingman
14:16 Jul 18, 2020

Nice work on this one, Katie! You may want to remove the "in" in the following paragraph: "I noticed mine had apple juice in instead, and chuckled, nudging Josh's shoulder." Keep up the good work! 😉

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Katie Blackwell
18:40 Jul 18, 2020

Thank you! It's one of the things i've always struggled with, because i say it weirdly :)

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Mila Van Niekerk
13:43 Jul 18, 2020

I loved it, and I only have one nugget of critique : you seem to get slightly confused with what to use capital letters for, which makes it kind of hard to read. But I really like the story and look forward to reading more of your work. Do you mind checking mine out? It's my first submission as well!

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Katie Blackwell
18:41 Jul 18, 2020

Of course, and thank you for the help, I struggle when typing it out, and often cut bits out, then forget to change capitals. My apologies :)

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