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Friendship Funny Happy

“Jaemmi, it’s burning--”

“Crap...” Jaemmi rocketed off the couch and ran straight for the barstool. Using its cushion to propel herself into the air, she vaulted over the counter and landed just in front of the stove. Face to face with her disaster of a breakfast burrito. “Gosh darn… this happens every time,” she whispered to herself. “Quick, hand me the fire extinguisher.”

“Coming right up, master chef,” Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes. Elizabeth opened the cabinet under the sink to get the fire extinguisher they kept there. She turned to hand it over to Jaemmi, laughing at the face Jaemmi made while she braved the inky, black smoke seeping out of their charred breakfast. “Remember when we first bought this thing. It was just a few days ago after the first time you burnt my breakfast in one of your ‘pursuits’.” Elizabeth laughed as she made air quotes.

“At least I’m cooking breakfast.”

Elizabeth hunched over and grabbed her throat, suddenly gasping for air.

“Hey, hey, hey. Are you alright?”

Elizabeth straightened back up quickly and nonchalantly leaned against the counter. “Yeah, I’m fine… just choking on your lies. Cooking?!?! Ha, more like burning. Maybe blackening or charring fits better.”

“Funny... you should be a comedian. Your audience would get so offended they’d leave, though.”

“I don’t need to pick on an audience, when I’ve already hit comedy gold with you and your ‘hobbies’.”

“Blegh,” Jaemmi spat with her tongue sticking out. “Friends are supposed to support each other you know.”

你是不很好的朋友。(You are not a very good friend.)

“Well, I’m sorry; you’re right. Instead of helping you clean up your mistakes, I should help you burn down the kitchen. Ooh, maybe I’ll help you bust another whole in the wall while practicing gymnastics. Or, get this, we can shatter Mrs. Goldin’s window again with another baseball. In fact, the only hobby you consistently kept in the last five years is Mandarin.”

谢谢,我说中文说的很好。(Thank you, I do speak Chinese well.)

“Of course, it sounds bad when you say it like that. I mean--” Jaemmi paused to focus her aim with the extinguisher. TFFFF. The extinguisher sprayed onto the blackened meal and stopped the little flames from getting any higher.

现在我会没有早上的反。(Now I won’t have any breakfast.)

“Looks like you’re getting good with that thing. I guess it’s because you have to use it so often.” Elizabeth sauntered back over to the couch and un-paused the movie they were watching. She sat down and covered herself up with a throw, ignoring the dark grey haze leftover from the smoke.

“Know what? Fine. Burn your own breakfast burrito. I’m going to Jake’s Trinkets.”

“Not again. Every time you go there you get some obscure idea to try a new fad. Give it a rest.”

“What can I say? Jake gets me and he understands my many interests. A girl like me gets bored easily.”

“No, you get distracted easily.”

“I’m a jack of all trades thanks to my many areas of study.”

“You’re a quitter with an infinite list of hobbies you’ve tried for a week each. Jaemmi, you need--”

SLAM.

“Ughh, she didn’t even let me finish my sentence.”

. . .

我不要朋友。我记得他们常常的说。他们说,”我要你要试兼职工作." "我要你学习科学和数学."

(I don’t need friends. I still remember what they’d often say. They’d say, “I want you to try a part-time job.” “I want to study science and math.”)

“Jaemmi, you need to blah, blah, blah. Sounds like you need to shut up,” Jaemmi huffed as she power-walked down the sidewalk. “‘Jaemmi, choose a major.’ ‘Jaemmi, choose an elective.’ ‘Jaemmi, get a job.’ Oh shoot--” Jaemmi paused realizing she’d made a wrong turn. She looked around, her face scrunching in confusion. She paced nervously, realizing she had no idea where she was.

我在那人?这个地方有很多的草。(Where am I? This place has a lot of grass.)

Haha. Hahahaha. Crap, looks like I’m lost.” Jaemmi laughed, nervously. Passersby began to avoid her and maniacal laugh. “Oh, I know how to get back.” Jaemmi ran down the streets until she came to an open field. Now, far away from the buildings and with a clear view of the sun she looked from her wrist to the sun. Wrist. Sun. Wrist. Sun.

“Good grief, sweet sorrow! I forgot my watch. Man, I just can’t catch a break,” she mumbled. Jaemmi continued to think aloud, “If I knew what time it was, I could find out what direction I have been walking in, but that plan’s kind of shot now.” Tired, Jaemmi lowered herself to the ground and leaned back on the lime green, summer grass. Closing her eyes, she whispered, “Stupid park ranger club. Elizabeth’s right, my hobbies are dumb.”

现在有雨吗? (Is it raining now?)

Jaemmi felt drops of water land on her cheeks. “No, not rain,” she exclaimed, indignantly. “Oh,” she said softer. “They’re… tears.” Jaemmi scrunched up her faces as more warm tears slid down her face. Soon she was all out sobbing.

“‘Jaemmi, pick a sport,’ they said. ‘Jaemmi, focus on your extracurriculars’. Now I’ve tried four stupid sports and none of them can help me do anything.” Jaemmi ranted on and on. “I’ve participated in a season of field hockey, golf, lacrosse, and gymnastics. Now, all I’ve got to show for it is a closet full of old gear and a half-decent handspring.”

It took a while, but the tears finally stopped and Jaemmi began to laugh “That handspring did help me get to the stove in time, though. After that… Elizabeth insulted my hobbies.” Jaemmi fell into a slump again.

“Jaemmi, 你好吗?你不高兴吧?对不起。你的爱好很有意思. 你会教我你的爱好吗?” (Jaemmi, are you okay? You’re unhappy, right? I’m sorry. Your hobbies are very interesting. Will you teach me your hobbies?)

Jaemmi jumped off the ground and turned around. “Elizabeth,” she gasped. “I’m so happy you found me. I didn’t know where I was, I got scared, then sad, then I--”

Elizabeth interrupted Jaemmi with a hug. “I’m sorry I chased you away. I didn’t realize how important your hobbies are to you.”

“It’s my fault for ruining stuff. I’m even good at half the things I try,” Jaemmi laughed.

“Let’s go to Jake’s Trinkets. I borrowed one of your Chinese books to learn the sentences earlier, but I’m going to need some beginner level books.”

“Sure! I have so much to teach you. Now we can celebrate Chinese New Year, The Moon Festival, The Dragon Boat Festival… Know what? Maybe we really should just start with the basics. There’s a lot to cover.”

Elizabeth laughed at how uncoordinated Jaemmi was. “Yeah, it sounds like a plan.”

“We’re going to have so much fu--” Jaemmi's sentence was cut off by her spontaneous yawn.

“Looks like the next hobby is napping.” Elizabeth grabbed Jaemmi’s arm and guided Jaemmi’s head to rest on her shoulder.

Jaemmi chuckled softly, “yeah, I think you may be right about that.”

Jaemmi and Elizabeth laughed as they talked about all the Chinese decorations, they’ll adorn their apartment with. Who knew burnt burritos taste like friendship?

January 29, 2021 22:33

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