Fear

Fear

By: Hannah Cairns

When my alarm rang it seemed like it was going to be another boring day. I didn’t want to go to school like usual. I’m at my worst in the morning, but the rest of the day I'm a pretty cheerful person. That all changed after I tell you what happened to me. I’m not as cheerful as I was, I'm not as bright as I was, I'm not as fearless as I was. When you’re lost it’s really hard to be cheerful. I have no idea where I'm going or where I will end up. Let me start from the beginning when I was my cheerful normal self.

Part 1

When I finally woke up something seemed a little off, I don’t know what it was but something wasn’t right.

“I’m leavin mom!” I shouted from the front door.

“Okay Lace, be safe!” she yelled back.

I walked to school every morning. I’m a junior in High School and everyone seems to have their license except for me, it feels embarrassing.

I was walking like it was any other day until I went through the alley way. Everyone was scared of this alley but I never really got scared, until someone grabbed me. Someone grabbed my hand from the bushes and pulled me in with her. I was about to scream but she looked just as scared as I did so I just stood there in shock.

“I need to tell you something, my name is Kath. You are in serious danger, Lace.”

As she was talking I felt so confused, I didn’t understand a word she was trying to tell me.

“I don’t have much time to explain but someone sold you out. There is this girl that goes to your school and she got kidnapped and was about to be sold into a sex traffiing ring. She was stubborn and wouldn’t stop fighting. They would’ve killed her but they didn't want to have to deal with another body. So they made a deal. They said that if she thinks of someone else, better than her, then they would let her go. She told them your name. I just ran away from my pimp to tell you this, you shouldn’t go through what I am. I have to go before he realizes. Just run, you need to run.”

Next thing you know she ran out of the bushes and down the street like she was being followed. I was so shocked by what just happened. I was just trying to comprehend everything that she just said. She said it so fast it was hard to understand.

I don’t know why but I just started back on the way to school. I just didn’t want to think about what just happened so I just walked and acted like my mind was paralyzed.

I have always hated being scared. It makes me feel weak, like I'm able to be taken advantage of more easily. I convinced myself that that’s what she’s doing. She’s just trying to scare me to make me weak, but why? I tried to ignore the question why so I could ignore the feeling of fear.

I went through most of my day trying to be angry at her instead of believing her. I would rather have the feeling of rage then fear. I got through the day and was about to walk home but then I saw Lean, and I stopped like I got hit in the head.

She went missing a few weeks ago then came back and didn’t say a word. Today was her first day back at school. I saw her face. Her face looked terrified, and in that moment I think that mine did too. We both looked at each other for a second then she ran, then I ran after her. I could hear her crying and kept screaming “I'm sorry!” I was screaming at her to stop, but before I could get to her someone grabbed me.

This wasn’t that one girl from earlier. He grabbed me and put my body against his and covered my mouth then pulled out a knife. I was trying to fight him off until he pulled the knife out and started shushing me in an awkwardly but also comforting voice. It was one of the strangest feelings that I have ever felt. It did work, I stopped fighting and stopped trying to scream.

Part 2

We were right in the corner of a building where no one could see us, but we could see people walking by.

“Do you see that silver car over there in the corner?”

I couldn’t do or say anything, I was paralyzed with fear, the worst feeling in the world.

He took the knife away from my throat and jammed his elbow in my stomach and pushed it up against my rib cage. It hurt like a son of a bitch.

“I said do yo-”

Before he could ask the question again I nodded my head because I couldn’t take one more second of him jamming his elbow up into my rib cage.

“We are both going to walk over there. You are going to get into the car. You are not going to scream or run, or else I will kill you, got it?”

I just nodded my head then we started walking. I did what he said. Everyone was gone by the time we started walking anyway, he could kill me before I even got someone to hear me.

“Who the hell are you?” I asked right after he started the car but he didn’t answer.

“What the hell do you want?” still no answer.

“Give me your phone,” he said in a calm voice.

“No,” I said.

He looked at me then pulled over, looked at me then said it again. He looked at me calmly but I could tell that if I said no again he was going to hurt me like he did in the bushes. So I just slapped it in his hand. I did it harder then I meant to so he slapped the back of my hand ten times harder. It hurt a lot and I tried not to cry but water filled in my eyes anyway.

We were driving and driving until I just lost track of time. Next thing you know we are in a forest with a weird looking building in front of us.

“Get out,” he said in his calm creepy voice.

I didn’t want to get hurt again. I hate feeling pain, more than anyone else I have ever met. I feel like I'm too fragile to even live. He pounded on the door and what sounded like a secret rhythm, like the type of code you play around with as a kid.

Someone opened the door. He looked like the opposite of what the guy who kidnapped me looks like. He had bright blond hair and blue eyes. He looked really innocent, like he would never even hurt a fly.

The guy that kidnapped me walked into the building and I followed him. Then I saw someone on the couch with her arms tied up. It took me a second but then I realized that it was the girl who warned me. She had the saddest eyes toward me. Then I realized that it was clear she just got the hell beat out of her. I wanted to help her but what could I do? I couldn’t take on two guys who had only God knows what type of weapons on them.

“So this is her?” the blond one said.

“Yeah.”

“Kinda sad that your own friend would sell you out,” the blond one said with his big blue eyes looking at me.

“She wasn’t my friend, she was just someone I went to school with,” I said that with such a pissed off tone.

He stepped forward more close to me. I didn’t back up or act scared, this dick doesn’t scare me. Even if he beat me up why would anyone be scared of this dick. He’s too much of a dick to be scared of for holding this girl.

Then the guy who kidnapped me stepped more toward the blond. I flinched at his coming closer to me, because he actually does scare me.

“Hmm, does Zack here scare you? But not me? Well that’s sad, I love people who are scared of me.”

“What the hell is happening right now!” I shouted.

“I can’t take it anymore! What do you jackasses want from me!”

“Kath here will explain,” the blond one said then left out the door.

Then Zack got closer and up in my face and said, “never speak to me like that again, got it?”

I just nodded my head. I couldn’t look into his eyes when he said that so I just turned my head and he said it into my ear. Then he followed the blond one out. I stood there paralyzed for a second, a wave of fear came over me and I hated it. I hated it so much that I wanted to puke at the thought of me being that scared of someone.

“You should have ran,” Kath said while looking down at her bruised thighs.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to be scared of something that a stranger told me.”

“That’s what I said before this happened.”

“What exactly is happening?” I asked.

“Lee, the blond one is a pimp.”

“Like the guys that sell girls for money?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t get it. If you don’t want to sell yourself then why are you here?”

“There are girls that chose to work for a pimp, but there are a lot that don’t have a choice, like me. I don’t get any of the money, i’m always trapped here, and if I try to escape Lee will kill me.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Hard to say, i’ve lost a lot of time. But I was captured in 2015.”

I wasn’t exactly sure what to say after that. She has been here being tortured for five years.

“By the shocked look on your face I'm guessing it’s been a long time.”

“2015 was five years ago,” I said as I stuttered.

“Feels longer.”

We both sat in silence for a second until I asked.

“Is the other one a pimp too?”

“Not exactly. Zack Is just Lee’s friend. When Lee wants something hacked or kidnapping he calls him and he gets money. I walked in on him once crying and he told me that he was only doing this to help his family. I don’t exactly believe him, he is pretty scary. But I do know before I got captured that his family was homeless.”

“How do you know that?”

“My family was friends with his. I saw him a lot growing up.”

“And he’s just leaving you here to be tortured and raped?”

“Don’t get me wrong there is a big part of me that hates him but at the same time there is a small part of me that understands that he would do anything for family.”

 I wasn’t sure what to say to that or what to think of that.

“Does he scare you a lot?”

She stopped looking at her knees and looked at me in the eyes which she hasn’t done this whole time.

“He’s not afraid to hurt someone to get what he wants. Lee is a terrible human being but he doesn’t usually physically hurt me. He mostly psychologically hurts me. I’m terrified of both of them but Zack scares me more than anything.”

“Was he the one who beat you up?”

“Yeah. after I warned you Lee found me and told Zack to beat me up. I think it’s just because Lee hates blood and bruises. He gets seriously sick over them.”

We sat there in silence until something popped in my head.

“Wait if they plan to keep us here then i’m screwed. I have epilepsy and if I don’t have my medication I will start to have seizures off the hook.”

I could tell that she looked scared and didn’t know what to say.

“We need to break out of here,” I said while getting off the couch.

“We can’t. People have tried and they all end up dead, or worse.”

“What could possibly be worse?”

“Being sold to a sex trafficing ring in another country, then you are really screwd.”

“Then what the hell are we supposed to do!”

“Nothing. We wait for a miracle,” she said in a sarcastic tone.

“I refuse to be raped again!” those words just flew out of my mouth. Not many people know that. I didn’t want anyone else knowing, too late now I guess. She looked really sympathetic and I could tell that she wanted to help now .

“The only chance that we would have is when Lee moves us. But he’s going to tie our hands and feet.”

“Okay, when is he going to move us?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Okay well, um, okay. How about you stop because you twisted your ankle and I will go behind him and grab his gun.”

“Do you really think that it will be that simple?”

“Where does he keep his gun?”

“On the side of his pants, like an idiot.”

“We have to try. I don’t want to be here another minute.”

“I should be the one to try to get the gun. If we fail then I would rather him take it out on me.”

“No I want to do it,” I said in a determined voice.

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Final part

Kath fell asleep on the couch. I tried to fall asleep too but just couldn’t. I was too afraid of what might happen tomorrow. Then I realized how scared I was and I hated it so I forced myself to sleep. When I woke up Lee was getting ready to move us then off we went.

We were walking to a van, like the kidnapper vans that you see in the movies. Then Kath acted like she twisted her ankle. I went up behind Lee while he was paying attention to her. I was about to grab the gun and I had a big wave come over me. I could tell that I was going to have a seizure. I tried to grab it but the seizure made me paralyzed in my step then I fell.

I could see everything that was happening around me but couldn’t talk or move. I just layed there on the ground. It was blurry but I could see them both fighting and somehow Kath was able to grab the gun and she shot him right where one of the most sensitive parts on a guy is. I could see the anger in her eyes so she shot him there two more times until he fell and passed out.

After she did that the seizure was over and I could somewhat stand but she helped me. She grabbed his keys and we drove to the police station. We ran in there like crazy people trying to tell what just happened.

Then I turned around and I saw Zack come in the door. He came up to me and said, “about time someone shot that son of a bitch.”

I just stood there staring at him. Then he got in my face like before, and I still couldn’t look at him in the eyes. So he grabbed my chin and forced my face to look at his and he said. “I’m glad you guys shot him, I was tired of working for a pimp, it disgusted me, rape disgusts me. But don’t think for one second that I won’t beat the hell out of you if you ever cross me again.”