The Coffee Date

Sensitive content: Miscarriage

Annie drummed her fingers on the heavy oak table and squinted at an ornate iron wall clock. The hands were barely visible in the dim morning light filtering through the Starbucks-green curtains. Janet was ten minutes late for their coffee date. What if something happened to her? A knot of fear twisted in Annie’s chest. 

Janet Kemper was one of Annie’s oldest friends. In fact, Janet was the first friend she’d made in Seattle after her husband, Travis, became the newest associate at Kemper and Dunn, Attorneys at Law, nearly eighteen years ago. 

At first, Annie found Janet intimidating. She was the wealthy, vivacious wife of Travis’s boss, Jim Kemper, breezing from guest to guest at the firm’s Christmas party. An introvert, Annie shied away from Janet’s loud voice and boisterous laughter. “She’s a little much,” Annie explained to Travis. Her opinion changed the following spring, one of the worst days of Annie’s life.

The day started as a normal Tuesday at Oak Park Middle School where Annie taught language arts. As she stood at the copier in the faculty lounge, a gush of warm fluid ran down her legs. If it were twenty weeks later, this would have been cause for excitement–the good kind. Instead, Annie let out a wail of despair. At eighteen weeks, her first baby–her daughter as she’d learned at a recent ultrasound–was too small to be born now. At the hospital a doctor confirmed what she already knew: Her baby–Charlotte–was gone. 

Annie lay on her living room sofa that evening, exhausted from crying but not able to fall asleep into the oblivion she craved. 

The doorbell chimed. She rolled onto her side, her back to the door as Travis opened it.

“Hello, Travis. Jim told me what happened. I’m devastated.” It was Janet’s voice, but quieter than usual. 

Annie’s back stiffened. What was she doing here?

“It’s been a hard day,” Travis said. 

“I brought you dinner from Gambini’s.” The paper bag rustled as Janet handed the meal over to Travis. 

Though Annie wasn’t hungry, Janet’s unexpected kindness triggered her tears again. They traced a hot trail across her nose and cheek and dripped onto the upholstery. 

“There she is.” Janet brushed past Travis into the living room. The edge of the sofa sank as Janet sat next to her. “Oh, honey.” Janet stroked Annie’s dark blonde hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ears. Annie’s reservations about Janet melted away at her touch. She had misjudged the woman. 

Annie checked the clock again. Janet was fifteen minutes late. She leaned back and rested her head on the concrete pillar behind her. If only she had her phone. She had accidentally left it attached to the charging cord on her nightstand at home. She prided herself on not being one of those people addicted to their cell phone, but this morning she really wished she had it with her. 

When Travis returned to work after Charlotte was buried, Janet volunteered to spend her mornings with Annie. She brought coffee and muffins and listened with undivided attention when Annie was ready to talk.

After Annie shared her grief, Janet dabbed her eyes with a tissue. “I understand your pain. I had a miscarriage before Thomas was born. I was six weeks along. I couldn’t understand why it happened.” Her voice broke on that last word. 

Annie winced. She had carried her daughter much longer than that. Janet meant well, so Annie took a deep breath and shook off her annoyance. It’s not a competition about who has a greater right to grieve, Annie thought. 

Two weeks later Annie felt strong enough to return to work, and their daily visits came to an end. Annie was relieved. Janet’s kindness was beginning to smother her. At Janet’s insistence, Annie agreed to meet at Starbucks for coffee every other Saturday where they selected an oversized muffin from the glass case to share while they talked. 

Annie looked again at the clock. Janet was twenty minutes late. Her mouth watered thinking about the muffin she and Janet would share that morning. She’d lost so much weight lately and craved carbs. She examined the room, though she could picture every detail even with her eyes closed. Dark wood trim, a concrete floor, six oak tables in two rows. She and Janet always sat at the same table in the back corner. The wall to her left featured a mural of the green Starbucks logo, a woman with a star-topped crown and long, wavy hair. 

A large calendar turned to October adorned the wall in front of her, along with framed coffee-themed posters and a bulletin board advertising local events. A flier in the center was titled with big letters across the top “Missing Local Woman.” Janet had brought it in and pinned it to the board. She was one of the volunteers helping with the search. The woman had never been found. Annie stared at it. The pretty woman in the accompanying photo stared back. Uncomfortable, Annie averted her eyes. 

A year after Charlotte’s death, Annie’s grief turned to joy when Brayden was born, followed by Katie. In time, meeting Janet for coffee every other Saturday became difficult. With work and the kids’ activities, she had little free time. She barely had time for Travis. Besides, she had other friends, a couple of women at work and the mothers of some of the children in her kids’ classes. 

Whenever Annie  gave in to Janet’s nagging pleas for a coffee date, she went home drained afterwards. Janet used the time to gossip and complain, the victim in any conflict. Annie listened as Janet described at length the latest fight with her mother-in-law or how much she disliked Thomas’s new girlfriend. Annie barely got a word in edgewise. 

Annie came to dread their coffee dates. “I don’t want to go. I have too much to do today!” she complained when her alarm went off early one Saturday morning. 

“Please, Annie. Just put up with her a little bit longer. Sam Dunn is 71 years old. He can’t work forever. As soon as he retires, Jim will make me partner. Then if you want to stop having these visits, that’s fine by me. Be patient until then. Please,” Travis pleaded.

“Fine. But you owe me.” She flipped back the covers and climbed out of bed. 

The door finally opened, and Janet breezed in, 25 minutes late. “Good morning, friend!” she called in a sing-song voice. Relief flooded Annie. What would she do if Janet ever failed to show? She needed these visits now more than ever. 

Janet slid into the chair across from her and set her Givenchy purse down on the table next to their usual latte order.  “Ahhh!” She sighed cheerfully. “Sorry I’m late. Can you believe Thomas actually remembered my birthday and called me this morning?” Her hair was shorter and a darker shade of red than yesterday. 

Annie looked at Janet through her own scraggly blonde strands curtaining her eyes. She was well overdue for a haircut of her own. She’d been unable to make the one she was scheduled for a month ago. 

“We have a lot to talk about today. But first… how are you?” Janet gazed at Annie expectantly. 

Was it already October 17? Annie knew Janet didn’t really care how she was doing this morning. Janet expected Annie to acknowledge her birthday. 

Annie reached for the latte closest to her, and holding it in both hands, she took a long gulp before answering. The latte was tepid. “I’m fine, Janet. Happy birthday,” she rasped and then cleared her throat. 

“Thank you! You’re so sweet. Oh, I have so much to tell you!” Janet cocked her head and laced her fingers together, the nails painted a glossy fuchsia. “Let’s see–where should I begin?” 

Sam Dunn retired in February, and Travis made partner. The next time Janet called, Annie set a boundary. “Janet, I won’t have time to get coffee with you again until school is out this summer.”

“I understand.” A hurt tone edged Janet’s voice. “I’ll stop bothering you. You call me next time.” 

Janet was true to her word, and Annie felt as though a weight had been lifted. She could breathe again. 

Then one May afternoon, she literally ran into Janet at a woman’s clothing store downtown. “I’m so sorry,” Annie said when she backed into her. “Oh. Hi, Janet.”

“Hi. It’s been three months.” Janet’s pale blue eyes bored into Annie’s. “Why haven’t you called me?” 

Annie’s face grew warm. “Uh–I’ve just been so busy.” she stammered. “Papers to grade, lessons to plan, and then there are the kids’ activities–”

“Yes, yes, of course. I understand.” The corners of Janet’s lips trembled. Were those tears in her eyes?

“Janet, are you OK?” Annie asked. 

“Can we go somewhere to talk?” Janet pleaded.  “I’ve been trying to give you space, but I could really use a friend right now.”

Annie had never seen her this fragile before. “Sure, Janet.”

They walked to the Starbucks on the next block and after ordering coffee, sat at their usual corner table. 

Janet burst into tears. “Jim’s leaving me for a 31-year-old.” She dabbed at her leaking eyes with a napkin, leaving black mascara smears on the white paper.

Annie reached across the table and took her hand, “Oh, Janet. I’m so sorry.” Why hadn’t Travis told her about this? Did he even know?

“I have nothing to live for, Annie. Thomas is grown and married to that little snot Julie. She never lets him visit or even call me. Jim said I have to move out by the end of July. I haven’t worked in 32 years. I don’t know what I’m going to do!” She sobbed into her napkin. 

A pang of guilt washed over Annie as she thought about how many times she’d avoided a simple coffee date with Janet. What was wrong with her? Where was her compassion? Couldn’t she spare just a couple of hours every other week for her? 

“What can I do?” Annie said. “How can I help?”

Janet sniffed. “Do you really want to help? I was afraid you didn’t need my friendship anymore now that Travis made partner. I don’t want to burden you.”  

“Of course I still want to be friends. It has nothing to do with Travis.” Heat rose in Annie’s cheeks. “What do you need?” 

“Just call me every day to check on me. I am afraid I might–hurt myself.” Her eyes glistened.

“Sure,” Annie said, alarmed. “I will call every day for as long as you need me.” 

Annie tried not to lose the thread of Janet’s latest story while sipping her rapidly cooling coffee. The muffin they shared was stale, but Annie was starving by now and forced herself to take tiny nibbles while she mmhmmed, clucked her tongue, and nodded to indicate she sympathized with each perceived slight and moment of outrage Janet detailed. Her stories always revolved around the same characters: her ungrateful, spoiled daughter-in-law, her terrible ex-in-laws, her rotten ex-husband, or Jim’s conniving new girlfriend. 

Determined to keep her promise after Janet’s plea for support, Annie called her every day for three weeks and listened while Janet cried and railed against Jim as their divorce proceeded. She gave up weekends to tour houses for sale with her. She even missed Katie’s piano recital one night when Janet was feeling particularly low. Janet’s neediness was exhausting, but she had no other friends to turn to.

As May melted into June, Janet grew stronger. She bought a small but pretty three-bedroom house with a basement and a beautifully landscaped yard on the edge of town. The closest neighbor was at least a quarter mile away. Janet said she liked the privacy. She no longer cried when talking about Jim. In fact, she seemed happier than ever as she chose paint colors and furnishings for the house. By the middle of July, she had settled into her new home, and a generous settlement meant she would never need a job. 

Janet’s muffin half sat untouched. She was talking so much she hadn’t even touched it. “Oh! I went to Brayden’s game last night. He did great–scored two goals!”

Annie’s chest tightened. Brayden’s soccer season had started weeks ago, and she had not been able to attend a single game. Tears pricked her eyes. 

Janet continued. “Oh, and of course, I saw your sweet Katie and Travis, too. He invited me to join them for ice cream after the game. Now don’t you worry–he was just being polite. I think he might be holding out hope that you’ll come back to him. He’s cute but clueless, isn’t he?” She tittered a high-pitched giggle. 

Annie winced. She wondered how long Travis would keep hoping for her return. He’d have to give up and move on eventually. 

Janet prattled on. “Katie says she’s enjoying high school so far. Freshman year can be tough. It’s so nice she has her big brother to look after her. Of course, she knows she can always confide in me. It takes a village to raise a child!” Her features rearranged into a sympathetic frown with just a hint of reproach. “It’s sad you couldn’t make it to the game. Too tied up, I guess. Busy, busy, busy.” 

Annie forced back tears. When Brayden was younger, Annie didn’t miss a single club soccer game. She missed those evenings sitting next to Travis in the stands, cheering for their son. She wondered if she’d have the chance to see any of Brayden’s games this fall before the season ended.

Janet seemed content in her new home. The crisis was over. No longer worried, Annie relaxed and stopped checking in with her every day. Two weeks passed with no contact. Then the phone rang. A pang of guilt stabbed Annie when she saw Janet’s name on the screen. She picked up on the first ring. “Hello, Janet. Sorry. I’ve been busy.” 

“I know. You’re always busy.” She shifted her frosty tone to a friendly one. “School starts soon, and I’d love to get together before you get caught up in all that craziness. I have something very important to tell you in person. Can you spare an hour this Saturday?” 

Annie suppressed her irritation. She’d planned to go shopping for school supplies on Saturday, but that could wait. “Sure. Starbucks at 9:00?”

“Thank you. I look forward to it!” Janet chirped. 

Saturday morning the alarm rang at 7:45. Annie groaned and turned to snuggle against Travis’s back. 

“Let me guess. Starbucks with Janet,” he mumbled. 

“I thought you said I was done with this when you made partner,” Annie complained.

Travis turned and pulled her to him. “I did. Honestly, Annie, she’s obsessed with you. It’s unhealthy. You are a people-pleaser, and she’s manipulative. Jim said she’s unstable. You wouldn’t believe what she put him and Thomas through. Offer to help her find a therapist. It would be the kindest thing you can do for her.” 

“I know. You’re right.” Annie kissed him and climbed out of bed. 

As she stepped out of the shower, her phone vibrated against the bathroom counter. The display read Janet Kemper. She pressed the button to answer. “What’s up?”

Janet’s voice came through the speaker. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather we meet here at my place. I’m trying to curb my spending these days with so much financial uncertainty in my future. I made blackberry muffins last night, and I have a new espresso machine to make lattes. Plus, I’d love to show you how I decorated the basement. You’re going to love it.”

Annie was puzzled. Hadn’t Travis told her Jim made sure she’d never have to worry about money? And in all the years Annie had known her, Janet never cooked. When had she turned into Betty Crocker? She shrugged. “Sure. I’ll see you soon.” 

After hanging up, Annie noticed the phone battery was low. She plugged it into the wall socket next to her nightstand, making a mental note to remember to grab it before leaving. 

That was two months ago, the day Janet delivered to Annie the shock that turned her world upside down, leaving her reeling through all the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. Janet was at her side through each stage. They met for coffee every morning, exactly at 9:00, always at the same table.

Annie depended on this time with Janet, even craved it. If Janet was a minute late, Annie worried. When Janet got up to leave, Annie’s heart raced with desperation. She despaired at the thought of Janet making a new friend and not needing her anymore. What would she do then? 

“Well, darling, I need to run.” Janet stood and picked up the empty coffee cups and her untouched muffin half. She strode toward the exit, tossing them in the garbage can near the door. 

“Janet?” 

Janet turned around, an annoyed look on her face. “What is it, Annie?” 

“I need to use the bathroom.” 

Janet giggled. “Oh, silly me! I almost forgot!” She reached into her purse, pulling out a small key. 

She walked behind Annie and leaned toward her. “Phew. You stink. If you promise no shenanigans, I’ll let you take a shower tomorrow.”

Annie nodded. The chain around her waist clattered to the ground, and she was free of the concrete pillar. Leaning on her handcuffed hands, Annie pushed herself up, her stiff knees screaming in pain. Her gaze fixed briefly on the missing woman poster as she stood. Her own eyes stared back at her. 

Then, with the cold metal tip of a taser pressing against the back of her skull, she shuffled her way toward the bathroom, the chains tying her ankles together clinking against the cold concrete floor of the Starbucks-themed basement in Janet’s new house.