Time to Fly

Ping. Ping. Ping, ping. Ping, ping, ping.

My phone is typically silent at work. It should be silent at work. I’m not sure why it wasn’t silenced that day. Mother’s intuition maybe?

Ping. Another text. It was my oldest daughter’s distinct tone. Each child had her own tone designated, so I knew the messages were all coming from Victoria. Was there an emergency at home? I glanced across my classroom and debated whether I should check the texts or finish the lesson. My students looked at me expectantly as if they were thinking the same thing, “is she going to answer her phone or what?” 

“Wow,” I said. “It sounds like I’m pretty popular this morning! I forgot to turn my phone off. I’ll just silence this ringer now and we’ll keep right on working.” Five messages from my daughter blinked at me on the screen, but I knew that she knew the phone number to the office. If it was a true emergency, she would just call the office, not text me. She had better call the office if this was an emergency. I’m not checking my phone. It would have to wait until lunchtime. I slid the phone back into my desk drawer. 

Once lunchtime finally arrived, I pulled out my phone and checked the messages. By now there were several messages from Victoria.

Mom!

MOM!

OMG!!

MOM! IT CAME!!! IT FINALLY CAME!!!

My heart did a happy dance. My right lips started to slide up into a foolish grin. Did she mean what I think she meant?

Next came a picture of her beaming at me. She was holding up something that resembled a book or card?

Then it was a close up picture of the booklet: it was what I suspected. It was her student visa. What she had been waiting for. This is what she had needed to go to London to work on her Masters degree for the last six months. The pandemic had closed all airports down. All in person learning had stopped. Everything had come to an end. All the windows were closed until recently when they started to slowly open up.

The last text read: Now I can go!

And my smile left my face. And now she can go. And now...this is what she had been waiting for. The student visa should have arrived months ago if it weren’t for the pandemic. She should have already been living in London for the last six months if it weren’t for the pandemic. I gained six months because of the pandemic. 

Now she can go.

This is great news! I’m so happy for you! We will celebrate when I get home! XO

I had a few hours to compose myself before I got home. I am a mom. I am strong. I have a game face. I can do this. I can send my baby girl 3500 miles around the world during a pandemic that has killed almost a million people. She will wear a mask. She will use hand sanitizer. Some person in some office allowed her to have this visa, so it must be safe, right? She wouldn’t be granted a visa if it wasn’t safe, right?  

My baby is going to London. She has always talked of going to London. She wants to live in a rainy city. Well, she found one. She has been to Rome, Venice, Florence, Paris, and even London before. She loves London. She applied to Graduate school in London. She wants to be in Europe. She wants to be in London. My baby girl, my timid, shy, quiet baby girl, wants to move to London. 

And so we booked the flight. The window of opportunity was tiny. With the pandemic, we knew that things could shut down again at any moment. If she was going to go, she needed to go right now. There was a dip in COVID-19 cases in the United States as vaccinations started to roll out. She had the visa. The president had predicted that student visas would open up by March and here we were, it was the end of February. Her flight was on March 3. We needed to get her out of the United States and to London before things shut down again. This was her window.

But were we idiots to use this window? Is it safer to stay home? To stay here and continue the on-line classes as best she could? Was it smarter to play it safe and not go to Europe? She’s young and healthy. She knows how to avoid crowds, wash her hands, wear a mask, and play by the rules. At some point, we all need to start living again. We can’t keep hiding in fear. We can’t fear getting sick. We need to live; not just exist. And so we flung that window wide open and threw our daughter right out.

Not really.

It was a long and difficult drive to JFK. Wait, back up the bus. Car. Train. Mom taxi cab!

Victoria and I were sitting on my bed with about ten windows open on my Chromebook. We were trying to  navigate which flight to take and when and where she was going to be living once she got to London. Are there Ubers? Will her phone work in London? Does Cricket even have towers in Europe? Is Cricket international?  We make a call to Cricket.  Cricket is not International, so that’s not an option. And, since we purchased our plan through Cricket, our phones are locked so she will have to buy an entirely new phone once she lands in London in order to make phone calls. Will she need to make phone calls? Yes, she needs to make phone calls if she wants to call for an Uber to come pick her up! 

We also had tabs open for several different Airbnbs. They all looked promising, but not all allowed pets. 

The cat.

Well, have we checked with the airline on their policy about bringing a cat to London? What do we need to do to bring a cat?

Now we have another window open and we are researching how to bring a cat on flight. Do we buy a ticket for the cat? Can the cat sit on her lap for the whole flight? This cat is very vocal. In fact, this cat doesn’t simply say, “meow.” She likes to shout out, “HELLO! HELLO!!” 

For real.

Any time anyone hears her in the background on a google meet or over the phone, they think we have someone tied up in another room. 

She shouts, “HELLO!”  and neighbors call wondering if everyone is okay. If we have to check her with the luggage we may get a phone call asking us if we accidentally locked a child into a suitcase. I don’t think they will believe us that it is the cat.

Do you know how many hoops you have to jump through to bring a cat to London? Forms that we have to print and fill out, vet visits, shots to be had, vet paperwork, another vet visit ten days prior to the flight, more papers, a chip implanted, more forms...it’s easier to bring a child! It’s also expensive! She wants her cat. She needs her cat.  However, Victoria cannot take the cat with her at this time. There simply isn’t enough time for all the hoops to be jumped right now. 

Victoria will rent an Airbnb that does not allow pets at this time (which means it is also cheaper to rent) and later - hopefully over the summer, I will go to visit and bring the cat with me then. At this point, a new Airnb will be rented or a job will be found or roommates will be sorted out. There will be some sort of changes made to go along with the cat’s arrival.  Oh, and a visit from yours truly. Mom counts too!

Okay, so we have the airline ticket. Check. We have a place for her to stay, it includes a kitchen, bathroom, WIFI, shared entrance, no laundry and no carbon monoxide detectors. But it does include a smoke detector, soap, and shampoo. Odd little things, but sometimes it’s the little things that matter. It is also fully furnished and it supplies the sheets, towels, and pots and pans. Check! The cell phone will not work as a telephone once she lands in London. This may be a problem as soon as she leaves the airport. In fact, any time she is anywhere she is without WIFI.  We sit with this information for a moment. We sit for a few more deep breaths in and deep breaths out. I tried my best not to look at my daughter. I couldn’t look at her. 

I was sending my daughter.

3500 miles away.

During a pandemic.

Without a telephone.

We pulled ourselves together and rationalized. Most places have WIFI. The airport will have WIFI. Airbnb will have WIFI. She can buy a phone when she gets there. (It turns out that you can’t just buy a phone when you get there, it is much more complicated than that, but we didn’t know this at the time!). She wasn’t worried, she was just anxious to get there and get classes started and meet her professors and actually take her classes in real time, rather than waking up at 4 a.m. to take the classes from her bedroom here. She was tired of ‘virtually” being in London. She wanted to actually be in London. And now was her chance.

And so we drove the five hours to the airport.  Did you know that even during a pandemic, it is not easy to find a parking spot in New York City? Did you know it is possible to be stuck in traffic in New York City EVEN IN A PANDEMIC?

Yes, both of those things happened to us. However, my daughter is a professional at international travelling and she knew we needed to be there four hours early for an International flight, just for these such emergencies/situations. One fly on our window, if you will, would be the (un)friendly woman at the ticket counter who (un)kindly told my daughter that there was a problem with her pre-boarding pass. 

Did you know that there are several different types of COVID-19 tests available? We do now. Apparently there are rapid tests and there are rapid tests. Then there are rapid tests. Yes. There are five different types of rapid tests, depending on what type of results you are needing. So when my daughter thought she had a completed rapid test done, it was not the rapid test that was required for an International flight. So it was a PROBLEM. This is when mother hen swooped down, I am not ashamed to admit.

“So you are telling my daughter that there is a problem?” 

“Yes, ma’am. She won’t be able to take her flight.”

“Well, that’s not how I see it. I see it as, if there is a problem, then there must be a solution. How can you help us solve this problem?”

Suddenly the woman’s attitude changed, “Welllllll, there is a rapid testing site you could go to….” she trailed off.

“GREAT!” I practically shouted at the lady. “Tell me where it is and how to get there. We can go straight there.”

The woman started rattling off some church in the Bronx that I felt I would never be able to find, but I figured with a prayer and my GPS we would be able to find this church and be back in time to make the flight. In the meantime my daughter, my hero, my travel professional, the child I have been worrying about sending off into the wild unknown on her own, has been fiddling with her cell phone and tapping her leg. She suddenly interrupts us as she shoves her cell phone screen in front of the woman’s face. 

“There is on-site rapid testing two floors down. Right here at JFK. It’s open for three more hours if anyone else needs it or asks about it. Have a nice day.” Victoria grabs my hand, grabs her luggage and we waltz away from the ticket counter.  We walk just until we are out of the woman’s sight and then we start running. Laughing with relief and success.

The half hour it takes for the CORRECT covid test takes forever, yet not long enough for me to squeeze in all the hugs and words that I feel I need to give and say. I don’t know when I will be able to touch my baby girl next. Will she be safe? Will this thin mask be enough to keep the virus away? What if the mask falls off on the plane when she falls asleep? What if she never comes home again? What if we are never a whole family ever again around the dinner table? What if I didn’t appreciate the last time we all sat around the living room enough? What if the last time she and I spent a Saturday afternoon together at the coffee house was the last time we ever spent a Saturday afternoon together? What if, what if, what if? What if she grew up into the beautiful human being she has become…

And then suddenly there we were, at the gate. She had her ticket in her hand. She had a huge grin on her face. I couldn’t see it under her double masks, but I could see the sparkle in her eyes and in the tilt of her head, and the way her forehead would turn a little pink. She was happy. She was heading toward her dream. She had her bag full of books, her suitcase filled with journals, and a heart filled with purpose. She was going to London.

I hugged her tight and no words came. But she said to me:

“This is the moment you have raised me for my whole life mom. You gave me wings. It is time for me to fly. I love you and I thank you.” 

And she turned away without a backward glance and flew through her window of opportunity.