Me, me, me, me, me!

Please be aware that mental health and swearing are in this story.

I had a Galactic separate but parallel identity far outside of Earth. He lived on Sirius. He, too, was called Colin and was twenty seven today. I had not been in contact with him since I was a toddler so I was updating him telepathically that morning. He then stayed with me all day seeing what I could see but agreed to keep quiet and just observe.

I was eating a slice of my self-made birthday cake in my car before driving to work thinking about my Mum. On my seventh birthday I teleported with her. We were looking at the ‘You Are Here’ map in Birmingham Bullring. It only pointed to one place. I pointed with my left elbow stump to the arrow and said to Mum,

“They could not be more wrong,”

I grasped her hand firmly and showed her all the different places that I existed. Still me! Just in a different place. The first place was an Egyptian market. She stared wildly around gripping my hand boggle- eyed. Then she caught sight of the other me standing quietly behind an orange stand not having noticed me. She raised her hand shakily pointing.

I giggled and whisked her to Italy where I was tucking into a sweet pastry and sneakily sipping my grandma’s cappuccino. We went to the four other versions and locations of me! France; where I was the class joker, Indonesia; where I made lucky eight balls, London; where I was parkouring as well as I was walking, and Dubai. I think Dubai was hardest for Mum as I was a trafficked boy working as a hotel cleaner in servant’s quarters.

We landed back in the glass lift overlooking the main drag. The Big Issue seller got a nasty shock with our sudden appearance. Mum caught her breath and whistled out.

“Well! I think we need to go the café so you can tell me everything!”

I updated her on my other lives. I described how we shared instant pictures from behind our eyes and how it was more like catching up with a distant relative every now and again. We were intertwined somehow but whole and immersed in our own lives. My biggest surprise was when Mum told me that nobody else had other selves and furthermore, did not believe they existed.

“That can’t be true!”

I scoffed taking a huge bite out of a chocolate croissant. I was jealous of the pastry breakfast and it had made me hungry for something sweet and delicious.

“Colin. Promise me never to tell anyone. It is unusual for a child to talk as you do as it is. I had no idea your worldly knowledge were real experiences! You with your head in your dad’s books all the time! Now, darling. You must promise me.”

Her beautiful dark eyes pleaded with me, warned and threatened me. I knew she feared experiments. We were living in a world where nothing was off the table in the quest for knowledge. So; I promised. I was happy enough that my mother knew. I was sure I had mentioned it before. She told me I would say things like,

“Oh, yeah, other me is going to surf now.” And she would shrug it off as me having mad adventures in my head.

Well, that was twenty years ago. Mum was not around to warn me but that conversation stayed with me. I was sat in my pale blue mini that I was far too tall for. I had finished my cake and was having my morning dread before driving to work. It was a big day for me. I would discover if I had the promotion, much needed pay rise and move into the special office with the gorgeous Sara.

“Gangly!” my boss had all but christened me. It had stuck with everyone but Sara. Sara with the beautiful big brown eyes, shiny, soft brown skin and poofy black hair. I enjoyed the sudden shaft of warm sunlight that had beamed into my car. Sighing, I started the car and pulled away from my tiny flat above the garages. I saw my naked neighbour George wave to me and waved back. Naked George was never going to change.

 But I wanted to. I desperately wanted this promotion. I had desired this shift since I started the job five years ago; but my boss thought I was too boring to be an effective accountant team leader.

I exhaled a long breath and wished I had told my mother that I was not just omnipresent physically in this world but that I remembered my past life as a revolutionary in the time of the last Czar of Russia. I was an excellent team leader then! But every day all day I was plagued with heartache remembering the millions lost while my elbow ached from being blown off and my head pounded with the memories of gunfire and bombs exploding.

I rubbed my stump and strapped my prosthetic on at the traffic lights. I could manage well enough without it, but it made other people more comfortable. My life revolved around that sentiment. It was making me sick. Once a girl had sat on me at a party as though I was a chair and started making out with my boss next to me. Bloody Steve. I thought about lovely Sara and how I would be sharing an office with her if I was chosen for promotion. She always said to me with a thoughtful look in her eye,

“There is just something about you Colin!”

And chuckling to herself would look shyly away and smile to herself. I had small grey eyes with huge grey eye bags. Maybe that was the something she meant. The ‘Me,’ in Indonesia kept me up with their clattering away in cutlery drawers and shouting to cooks in his kitchen. Brilliant chef, terrible hours. He did not know how to close his mind to his other lives; something me and the other ‘Me’s’ would once in a blue moon grumble about. I pulled away from the traffic lights wondering when being interesting was a requirement for being a fucking accountant.

Ah there he was; my Feral Shadow, another me running alongside the car. He first appeared when my mother went on her GP weekend training courses. I would sit in the back surrounded by my oranges and books. He would run right through, over or under hedges, fences, rivers, swamps, back gardens and farmland. Trees were no bother for him. He was always smiling and waving at me. I marvelled at how he could keep up with me. He was everything I wanted to be. Fearless, quick and unfailingly positive. He was hairier than me but always started my half hour work journey fully clothed in blue jeans, white T-shirt and black leather jacket. By the end of the journey everything had been ripped to shreds but he was always smiling and next to the car making me feel like anything was possible. I wondered how Sara would feel if I told her about my Feral Shadow.

I would be leaving smelly, stink breath Ricky happily on his own in our shared office. Left to his daily obsession of tuna sandwiches and Thai sweet chili crisps. Steve called him Reeky Ricky. Mean but true. I was approaching the work car park now. I knew what to do. I blinked hard four times each time requesting contact with my other four ‘Me’s.’ Luckily, they all made time for me.

I pulled in at exactly nine o’clock. Steve would have some smart-arse comment to make. I ran up the stairs, pausing after entering the one corridor which led to our offices. At first, I thought I was having a dizzy spell as many more corridors seemed to stretch out in every direction from me warping my sense of time and space. Then Egyptian me felt for the orange in my pocket, ‘yes,’ I whispered back. The flaky pastry Italian boy was now a food critic and he sharpened my tongue for a sharp-witted response to Steve inevitable brash remarks. In Dubai, I was now a smiling porter with a beautiful wife and a gift for romance. He winked at me. My London parkour me was now a Sifu in Wing Chun and he loosened and relaxed my body. My French me was now a stand-up comedian and told me to get my eyes ready to stream some jokes. My Indonesian me considered all the outcomes in each corridor carefully while I jumped up and down to keep loose and ready, he chose the best recipe. ‘Third hall, counting from the right,’ he whispered and wished me luck. I sprinted off down the hall feeling invincible.

I pushed through those doors like Feral Shadow told me to; ripping my denim jacket off and whirling it around my head before tossing it to Steve and calling,

“Hey, yeah I know I’m late, no I did not have trouble getting out the car!” Steve caught my jacket clumsily his jaw dropping and eyes fixed on me.

“Yeah,” I carried on casually strutting through the office peeling my orange,

“I was thinking of the best name for you seeing as you’ve got one for all of us!”

I threw my peel for him to catch and it just landed on his head, half of it hanging down his incredulous face.

“Yeah…yeah, Sassy Steve! You have something to say for everything! Don’t cha?!” I swung myself up onto his desk to sit cross legged and tossed the orange to Rick who had peeped his sweaty head out of our office door. It hit his chest and fell to the floor.

“Hey, hey Ricky! Try something new to eat once a day, I dare you! And Steve, you know I got the best numbers in here and if you do not give me the promotion you know I deserve I will be reporting all your office misdemeanours as well as in house bullying, as we are all sick of your shit!”

I jumped off the desk stylishly kicking my legs to the side and made a beeline for Sara.

“Can I kiss you darling, you are just the most beautiful and loveliest woman I have ever seen and I cannot wait to share an office with you!”

She nodded breathlessly her eyes amused and lips delicious. I dipped her in my strong arms and gently, and firmly kissed her beautiful sumptuous lips while the whole office cheered.

“Come on, Sara, there are some people I want you to meet,”

I took her by her elegant hand to meet Feral Shadow first. The other ‘Me’s’ told me not to bother them. They had seen what happened and knew exactly how they had helped. Now if I could just get rid of that PTSD from a past life I would be sorted.

Sara looked at me her eyes hypnotic and mysterious.

“I can help you with that,” she said and put her hands on my head. All the heartache, pain and memories faded.

“You’re a mind reader and healer!” I exclaimed.

“Oh, I’m much more than that, you’ll see,” she laughed and we walked to the car looking forward to seeing Feral Shadow leaping and turning somersaults over the fences. But when we hit the motorway, he was not there. I was so disappointed. Sara kissed my tears and smiled and told me ever so gently.

“But don’t you see, Colin? You do not need him anymore! You have Integrated!” And she said the word ‘integrated’ so meaningfully that of course I understood. He was in me. And now he was in the other ‘Me’s’ too. Oh, good. I always knew it was about me, me, me, me, me!

My Sirian self laughed his etheric head off.

By Amrita Bhattacharjee