Under the Sun, Lost and Found

It is my wedding tomorrow. Not the one I imagined under the tropical sun. They are sending me away. It is for my own good, I am told. I am the only child of my parents and an obedient one too. So when they decided to send me away, I quietly obeyed.

That evening I go for a stroll and as I walk, I near a tiny, almost desolate cave by the sea where I first fell in love.

We usually don't get a lot of tourists but that summer my island was swarmed with buzz and splendor. I was 18 then and had taken an extra shift showing the tourists around. The sun was bright and gently seeped through the canopy as we walked through the lush, green trees. The water was a clear shade of blue. The one that is a sight for sore eyes.

It was a small but a loquacious bunch of people. Some were from places I had never heard of, and some made sounds so familiar, I almost might have known their names. Sometimes the birds would interrupt their chatter and they would fall silent as if making way for more conversation from the birds. They would gape at them, admiring the perfect concoction of colors on them. They looked more beautiful than you and I.

I heard through grapevine that where I am going, such vividly colored birds, birds are not easy to sight. In place of tall trees now stand gigantic, illuminated buildings which are festooned with fake plants and plastic flowers. 'What a dull place it would be sans the sound of nature', I thought.

After having walked for hours, with spirits still high but limbs betraying them, I guided them to the cave where they all gave in to their exhaustion. We came just in time to see the sunset. As if waking up from a deep slumber, they sat up straight with eyes wide and bright, their unanimous sigh at the serenity of the setting sun, awakened a feeling of oneness. And I with joy in my heart, for the first time, fell in love with home, my home.

Relieved that the memories are intact, I walked farther. I wanted to savor every tiny detail in this island. I was terrified that my memory , with time, would wipe out the last remaining vestiges of home. In order to make place for the new ones, I would hardly have space for the old. I would rummage for them and I would find nothing. 'That is not how our brain works', I tell myself but the fear stays.

I came across my favorite restaurant. It serves the best seafood in the world, of that I am sure. I once heard a tourist exclaim that. I remember I was banned to enter for a whole because I had picked a fight with my friend. She had then returned from Europe, for some reason feeling better than the others and claimed that our island was not half as good as the places in Europe. Yes, I did throw a lobster on her prideful face and I would do it again if I had to. It is the best lobster around here so it wasn't her loss after all.

My house stands nice and cozy, clubbed between two grand trees, one of which is also worshipped as it is the longest standing tree in the whole of island. It is big enough for the three of us, my parents and I but is too small to accommodate any more than that. In the morning I am woken up the early visitors of the tree. Two dogs and one cat. Every morning at 7, I greet them with treats and water. We spend some time playing with each other before they get tired of my company and leave only to come back the next day, the same time. My mother promised to take care of them after I am gone. I trust her, though she never was a fan of the cat.

The grandiosity of the tree is empowering. Even though the oldest, it radiates the strength that no other does. Today I stop and look at its hefty bark. I have never prayed here before, I had no reason to but tonight I do. I close my eyes and all I could wish for was for no one to forget me, for things to stay the same when I come back.

As I made my way back home, I wondered if I would ever fall in love again, if I will ever find home again but if I do, I will have two. Everybody tells me that my new place will be bigger and better and I will be richer but seldom anyone tells me that I will be happier. Who is to say, though? Maybe I will be. I stepped back to the tree and one last wish. I wished for courage.

My heart is conflicted. I have found happiness yet my heart desires to venture into the unknown for some more. I have never left home before but that only makes me want to explore more of this world and more of myself. Though unsteady and inexperienced, a part of me is full of hope and dreams. The overwhelming weight of stepping out on my own does bring me down sometimes. I am scared of losing all that I already have but I am also excited to find all that I never thought I could have.

Tonight the sea whispers sweet nothings in my ear, the sky shines a little brighter with stars, the moon is smiling, I could tell. The trees and flowers assure me that this world indeed is a wonderful place to be in. One day I will come back and fall in love with this place all over again. I will remember the island and the island will remember me. With less fear in my heart, I prepare, for tomorrow is my wedding day.