You deserve to use all the capital i’s in the world

I end my long crazy night watching the sunrise from the top of a hill sitting on his lap. I never would have in a million years predicted this, but that's what made everything so special.

***

My night started out very boring. I was watching t.v. and contemplating doing my homework when I got a text from him. Colton Prower, the boy I have been talking to for 3 weeks and falling in love with. We met at a college fair in the valley. He's applying to only international schools and I'm only applying to schools in California so we don't have much of a future, but it's still fun. We were both standing in line at the coffee stand. I was behind him and he turned around. "How are you so beautiful?" was the first thing he ever said to me. No one had ever called me beautiful. I never even really considered myself beautiful. After that we got to talking, because when a cute boy calls you beautiful, you start a conversation. By the end of the fair anyone who saw us would have thought we were best friends. I was saying good bye and he gave me this pouty face.

"What?" I asked, making a pouty face back at him.

"Are you really going to leave without giving me your number?" I laughed. I had totally forgotten.

"Umm, no." I paused, I had never asked a guy for his number before, "Can I have your number?" He gave me the biggest smile and all my nerves faded away.

"Of course Bexly Williams." He said. I handed my phone to him and he gave me his and that was the start of my epic love story.

***

Colton Prower: Hello cutest person in the whole world, what are you doing right now?????

His texts always make me smile.

Me: Hi Colton, I am contemplating whether or not I should do my history homework while watching Friends.

Colton Prower: Sounds like a very productive evening you have going on there ;)

Me: Oh yes it is

Me: What are you doing????

Colton Prower: Just driving to your house :)

What?!?!?

Me: What!!!!???? Umm why??? 

Colton Prower: Because we are going on our second official date and i am coming to pick you up :)

Me: Okaaaay, I’m not even going to try and protest because there is no point but I have 2 questions.

Colton Prower: Ask away

Me: 1.) Where are we going?

Me: 2.) Can you pleeeeease capitalize your I’s?!?

Colton Prower: Great questions Bexly. Answer to number 1, it’s a surprise. Answer to number 2, I’m gonnna go a little deep on you here. Ready?

Me: Ya I’m ready

Colton Prower: i don’t capitalize my i‘s because i feel like i don’t deserve the capitalization.

Me: What do you mean you don’t deserve it?

Colton Prower: Umm, well i guess it’s just the fact that i don’t really feel like a capital i kind of guy. Capital i guys are strong and confident and they could take on the world. i guess i just haven't earned it or something, i don't really know how to explain

Me: You’re joking right

He can’t be serious.

Colton Prower: Okay i just got kinda deep with you and you asked me if i was joking, that stings Bexly

Me: Oh my goddess 

Me: You’re serious. Colton, you deserve the capital I 

Colton Prower: i don’t think i do but it’s ok. Can we move on now?

Me: We can move on but we are coming back to this. And I’m not ok with your first answer either. A surprise, really?

Colton Prower: really :)

Me: At least tell me what to wear

Colton Prower: Ooooh okay

Colton Prower: i haven’t seen you in sweats yet, wear sweats

I smiled at this.

Me: So casual?

Colton Prower: Just wear sweats and i’ll see you in 5

Me: 5 minutes! You’re joking I am not ready 

Colton Prower: 5 minutes ;)

I don’t even respond. I run upstairs and tear through my closet. Okay sweats, I can find cute sweats. If only it were that simple. Why do I have no shirts that go with pink sweatpants? Ugh, he really gave me five minutes. That is not enough time. I'm putting my hair into a messy bun when he texts me.

Colton Prower: i am here : )

Me: kk hold on a sec

Him and that lower case I.

I run down the stairs and there he is. Wow he really is so cute. He's in sweats too. I love when he wears his glasses, they really bring out the green in his eyes. You usually can't tell but with his glasses it makes it seem so obvious. I realize that I've been staring at him for a good minute. I look down. He laughs.

"Hello Bexly."

"Hi Colton." I say as I look up at him.

"You look absolutely resplendent in your sweats." I smile.

"Resplendent, huh?"

"Resplendent indeed." I turn and grab my phone off of the coffee table under the picture frame that says Always Be You, oh dad.

"Okay I'm ready." I say

"Great. Let's go." He says taking my hand and leading me out the front door.

He drives an old blue Honda Civic. I realize I've never been in his car. It fits him perfectly. Most things we do are firsts because we haven't known each other for that long. We get into the car and when he turns the key Circus by Britney Spears is playing. I turn to look at him and laugh. He looks back at me and smiles.

"What? I am a Britney fan and I am not afraid to show it." He starts singing some of the lines and I laugh some more.

"Of course you are." I say, shaking my head, still laughing. He starts driving and I look out the window. I still have no idea where we’re going but I don't ask again because I know I'll just get the same answer as before. As I'm looking out the window I feel his hand interlace with me. I turn around and meet his smile. I smile back and then go back to looking out the window. He really is just the best.

We drive for a little bit longer and then he pulls into a school parking lot. Maybe his school? I turn to look at him, giving him a confused questioning look. He just smiles back. He pulls into a spot and turns off the car.

"We're here." He says.

"Where is here exactly?" I ask looking around the parking lot.

"Wow, that was such a cliché line," he says while rolling his eyes, "but here is my best friend's high school." I give him a questioning look again.

"Hmmm, okay. Why are we here?" I ask.

"We are here because," he stops and looks out the window and then turns back to me, "hold on I want to explain it when we get there." I thought we were there? But I don't ask any questions, I just follow him out of the car. I don't really get why he took me here because the school is locked. We start walking towards the entrance of the school but then he turns to the left. All of a sudden there's a football field in front of us. He looks back at me, takes my hand, and leads me onto the field. We walk right to the center and then he sits. He looks up at me and pats the ground next to him. I sit next to him and stare off into space. I snap back when he starts talking.

"Okay now we're here." He says. "The Madison Valley High School football field. This is a great place. You never asked me why i was so set on going to international schools, but i guess i never asked you why you are only going to school here, so. This football field is extra special because this is the exact place i was asked to play on England's Men's National soccer team." I open my mouth but have no words. There's so much I don't know about him. He continues when I don't respond.

"i've played soccer since i was four years old and it has always been my dream to play abroad. i didn't think i was going to make it. i was in my second semester of junior year and still no scouts had reached out to me. i wouldn't be able to just go abroad for college and hopefully get picked up there, i needed to get the scholarship from high school." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "My dad left me, my sister, and my mom when i was seven years old. My sister was eight. i don't really know what happened, just that things got messy and he left out of nowhere and never contacted us, ever again. It's been 10 years now. My mom was fine for a while. She still had her job, managing a hotel in L.A. and she found ways to squeeze in fun vacations for all of us, but one day it all just changed. Me and Farren, my sister, were sitting on the couch when she came home one day and just started screaming. She just walked in the door, threw her bag on the floor, and screamed. i was 12, Farren was 13 and we didn't really know what was going on. We just sat on the couch plugging our ears. We found out later she had quit her job, for no reason, and she didn't want to find another one. The screaming became a regular thing and Farren, being the amazing person she was, just took over for her. She got three jobs and paid the rent. She bought me a bike so i could get to school without having to beg mom to drive me. She somehow found a way for me to play on a soccer team and go to the tournaments out of town. She really stepped up. She told me that if soccer was my dream then we were going to try really damn hard to make it a reality." He paused and took another breath, he was still just staring off into space. There's really so much I didn't know about him. I wanted to pull him into the tightest hug I could give him, but then he started talking again. "She was only 14 when she did all of this. When i turned 13 i told her i wanted to get a job and help out, but she wouldn't let me. She wanted me to have one more year of my childhood. 'When you're 14' she would tell me. And when i turned 14 i got four jobs so that she could drop one of her's and focus on the things she wanted. She started writing and she was good at it. She entered into a bunch of different competitions and even won us money sometimes. When she was writing she was happy and that always made me happy. On Farren's 16th birthday she woke up to find an old Honda Civic in the driveway. We were both surprised, she thought it was from me but it wasn't. Mom came out of the house and gave us both a hug. She hadn't hugged us in years. 'Happy Birthday Farren' was all she said. She had somehow managed to get Farren a car. We had no idea how and she never told us. Farren having a car was big for us. Life was looking up. She was 16 i was 15, we were living the best lives that we could. She turned 17 and i turned 16 and we were still pretty happy. Mom wasn't around much but we saw her at least once a week, we didn't know where she went but it didn't really matter. And then one day everything changed again. i found out that Farren had leukemia, and it was stage 3. There was no way we would be able to afford chemo and all the treatment she needed, we could barely afford the crappy health care we had. So she just lived with it. She let me take over 2 of her jobs, and i stopped playing soccer for a little bit. i'm not even sure my mom knew she was sick at that point. Farren was a fighter. She stayed in school and even graduated but she kept getting sicker and sicker. There were days when she wouldn't get out of bed, it really scared me." I could tell he was holding back tears. God, I really didn't know him. I scooted closer to him and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back. "She died last summer, two months before going to college. She got into N.Y.U on a full writing scholarship. She was gonna do great things. She told me to do great things. She said that after she died she wanted me to go back to soccer and play my heart out. 'You deserve your soccer dream Cole' she said. i promised her i would make it to the pro's. When i said that she always smiled, no matter how terrible she felt." He looked up at me and gave me a sad smile. "That's why this field is so important to me, because this was the place that my dream came true. i just wanted to show it to you." He stopped talking and I hugged him, so tight he probably couldn't breathe. I didn't know what to say. This perfect boy had so much hurt. He didn't deserve it.

"My sister was a capital I person" he mumbled into my shoulder.

"I wish I could have met her." I whisper

"Me too." He says.

We hugged for a while and at some point we got up and headed back to his car. I wanted to hold him forever but he said that he should take me home. When we got to his car we just sat there for a few minutes.

"i'm sorry. i ruined our date." He says looking forward. I grab his chin with my hand and turn his face to look at me. He smiles at this. He mumbles something I don't hear.

"You Did Not Ruin Our Date. Do you understand me? I need you to know that you are amazing and tonight has been amazing because I have gotten to know you better. You Did Not Ruin Our Date." He's smiling after I say this. It lights up my world.

"I don't want to go home yet," I tell him "can I take you somewhere special to me?" He's really smiling now.

"Ya." He says. I hop in the driver's seat and turn Britney up. 

I’m going to take him to Malibu Creek Rock Pool. I have no idea where in the Valley we are and I know that it might take a while but I have to take him there. I put the address in my phone and let the map app lead us in the right direction. It took us 45 minutes but we finally got there.

“We’re here.” I say looking over at him in the passenger seat.

“Where exactly is here?” He asks. I laugh a little. 

"Wow, that was such a cliché line," I say rolling my eyes and mocking him, "but here is Malibu Creek Rock Pool." He laughs and gets out of the car. We walk down the rock path towards the lake. It's so dark outside and there are no lights. All you can see is the moon reflecting off of the water. When we get to the end of the path I turn to the right and sit on the closest rock. Colton sits next to me.

“This place is really special to me because I was sitting right here,” I say pointing to the rock we were on “when I got the call from UCLA that they wanted me to come play for their soccer team with a full ride.” He opens his mouth but doesn’t respond. “You were right, you never asked me why I was only applying here, it was because my stupid high school is making me apply to three other places just because, but I’m definitely staying here and playing for UCLA.” He smiles at me.

“I’m proud of you.” He says. I smile.

“I’m only a little proud of you.” He looks at me confused. “I am proud of you because you are strong, and kind, and amazing. You have had a hard life and yet, here you are all smiley and happy making my day 5,000x better but you can’t see it. Colton, you are a Capital i man. You deserve to use all the capital i’s in the world.” He smiles at me and then pulls out his phone. I stop smiling and look away. He’s really just going to text someone after I just made my great speech? He puts his phone in his pocket and taps me on the shoulder.

“Look at your phone.” He says in a whisper. I look back at him and then pull out my phone.

Colton Prower: I really like you

“I really like you too.” I say out loud. He smiles and takes my hand. I look out  and see the moon reflected on the lake, making a perfect circle.

“Do you want to jump in the moon?” He asks.

“Ya, let's go jump in the moon.” I say as we both run towards the lake and jump into the moon’s reflection.