Unknown

For the first time, my mind went blank. I couldn’t hear any sound around me, and my eyes seemed to ignore everything in front of me. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to continue. I was always supposed to have everything under control, but not this time. I was lost.

I don’t remember exactly when the shadow started to follow me. without realizing it, there was suddenly an arm around my shoulders and a warm presence next to me. It was disgusting.

I couldn’t stand the noise around me, all those voices made me sick. I couldn’t stand the touch or gaze of anyone, it feels suffocating. How can people enjoy those things? I can’t understand it.

The shadow that’s been following me seems to ignore all the warning signs of my body, how I flinch and pull away when it touches me, how my body folds in on itself each time those warm arms wrap around my shoulders.

Sometimes it’s in front of me. Other times I see it watching from the corner of my room, or I notice it walking behind me on the street. I feel it everywhere, even in the dark of my bedroom. I know it’s watching me. I don’t know what it’s waiting for.

For a long time, I thought it was just my imagination, something my mind created out of loneliness. With that in mind, I started to accept it. I got used to the touch, to the presence.

Maybe I’m going crazy, but at least now I have someone who smiles back at me. Because yes, a few days ago, I saw a thin line curl up across what I think was its face.

I realized I’ve been in this world for many years, but none of them ever felt meaningful. I can’t even remember what I did last year, probably just breathing.

I tend to ignore people the same way I ignore my life. Like nothing matters. Like I’m the only one still breathing. Why should I care about others when I can’t even care about myself?

It became my mantra: “No one cares for you, so why would you?”I laugh every time I say it… or I end up crying. No matter how I feel, that’s always enough.

Today I was walking back home. I have to admit that I have a weird obsession with counting everything. One, two, three... twenty cars today. Not too many.

The shadow walked behind me, murmuring what I said, repeating each number like a baby learning how to speak. I couldn’t help but smile.

The smile stayed, even grew. I’m still not brave enough to get close to it, but somehow it doesn’t bother me anymore. I let it be.

It walks around, sits in the corner, copies what I do and say, and smiles at me.

I thought it would stay that way forever, but tonight, when I was falling asleep in the dark, I swear I saw its eyes. Not normal eyes. Dark ones, shining in the moonlight.

The next morning, it was back as always.

Lately, I’ve noticed a strange pattern. Every time I come home, the door is already open. And when I leave in the morning, it’s open again, like someone’s waiting. I’d like to think it’s him… the shadow. Waiting for me.

I haven’t seen it in a while, but I feel it when I’m sleeping. Sometimes I see those dark eyes, and that twisted smile, just before I close mine.

"What do you want?" I asked in the dark.

No answer.

"What… are you?" I asked again.

All I got was a low rumble and a deep growl.

My skin shivered. I got back in bed and pretended nothing happened.

In the days after, every time I’m at home, I feel a shiver on my body, not from the winter outside, but from the presence in front of me. Now he sits there, tracing his fingers along the table. He’s not a shadow anymore.

He’s a man.

I try to act like I haven’t noticed. I still smile at him sometimes. I still go to sleep pretending he’s not there.

Days pass. The door opens when I leave, and when I return, he’s sitting there, like he belongs here. In my small world. I want to ask something, but I hold back.

"What do you want to ask?"

His deep voice cuts through the silence in the room.

I freeze. I don’t want to look back. I feel scared for the first time. I don’t know whether to turn and answer… or keep pretending he doesn’t exist.

I take all the strength I’ve never had… and I turn to face him. I close my eyes, still afraid to see him, or whatever he is. My body feels numb until I feel a warm touch on my face. It’s his hand.

"Don’t be scared. We’ve been together for so long. It’s not time to feel scared now."

His voice this time sounds like silk in my ears.

Carefully, slowly… I open my eyes.

At first, I saw nothing. He’s behind me.

I turn to face him again, and I meet dark pupils and a face I can’t read. I can’t tell what’s on his mind.

For some reason, I’m overwhelmed by the need to cry. And I do.

I fell to my knees, crying out loud.

I don’t remember what happened after that. But I woke up in bed the next morning.

No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t get up. I don’t know how long I’ve been like this. The curtains are closed, I can’t tell if it’s day or night.

I’m just… here.

I see a silhouette moving around the room in the dark. It’s not him. His body is bigger, heavier, his presence is stronger. This silhouette is smaller and it moves around picking up my things and leaves, then comes back. I’ve lost count of how many times it’s taken my belongings.

Still, I can’t move. No matter how much I try. I can’t talk, I can’t cry, I can’t sleep. It’s like my body is frozen while the world moves around me.

My body is dying here, my mind feels fuzzy. What happened? Was the shadow real? Am I real? I feel like I have never existed and I'm in this dark space without air, without emotions.

I finally give up and I close my eyes, I feel relaxed, in peace. my mind starts to go blank when the wind hits my face, immediately reacts and i open my eyes to find myself on the edge of a high building. In front of me, the city burns and I hear people screaming and crying out loud.

I look around scared and confused. I can't move, I'm gonna fall. something keeps me there, on the edge. I look back to find that twisted smile I know so well. not a man but a shadow stuck to my back pushing me to the void.

In a few seconds I realized I was completely lost since the moment I showed my weakness and got used to its presence. it takes advantage of me, taking my life and ending with it.

In a deep echoing thump, I hit the ground.