Waiting By

Twice, thats the amount of times, just today, that I was told by one of my “friends” was busy and could not see me today. This wasn’t just a today thing, though. No, this was every day; and those days added up to weeks and months. Sure, I see them at school in class and in-between, but nothing more then that. Mathew and Stephanie, both, who I thought as my closes friends seem to always find time to hangout with each other… without me.

Most of my days were spent reading or trying to find solace in hobbies. Stories of companionship, loyal friends, a lover seeking to reclaim their soulmate; these books are my comrades who never let me down. When I feel the urge I let the little artist in me flow out through pencil and paper as I draw faces of people I have only through my imagination. Or, write stories of the lives they live, thinking what it would be like to venturer with them.

But no matter the escape I use to fill the void, half my attention is on my phone and any little sound it makes. Hopeful, that maybe it will be a real person, a real friend, showing the desire that they want their day filled with adventures with me. To have their day complete by finding joy with me. The occasional text asking “What”s going on ?” or “I’m board what r u doing?” would come through, but nothing that means anything more then i’m a last attempt at short term entertainment.

That’s not to say I’m not valued. I have people asking me all the time for me to draw them something. Even asking to read my lasted story I would write. They all tell me how they love my work and that I really have a talent. These times make me feel very wanted. I tell them that it’s nothing special and anyone can do it if they just practice a little.

In Art or Writing class I really seem to shine for some reason. I get A’s on almost all my work; even have a few awards from state competition. Sure, my friends did show up to them and they were supportive then, but any other time they are no where to be found.

Maybe…maybe I should just ask. I’ll text Mathew:

“Hey, Mathew?”

“Ya,what’s up?”

“I kind of feel like none of you like hanging out with me, after school that is. Just wondering why?”

“What are you talking about?! We love chilling with you.”

“Then why doesn’t anyone every invite me out, you know, when all of you go out?”

“…are you okay? We invited out a few times just last week before we left school. You told us you wanted to finish the drawling for Stephanie for her birthday.”

“I remember. But after that?”

“We all know how much your drawling and writing means to you. You’re one of the most talented people we know. We want to see you after school more, but we want to give you your time to work on your amazing art.”

“You all really think that way?”

“Better believe it. How did you not realize that? One of my favorite parts of school is getting to read your new story or check-out your new drawling. We leave you be most days so you can get into your zone!”

“Mathew… thank you.”

Maybe, I never realized how my hobbies might have been a growing talent. One that brings enjoyment to so many of my friends. All this time I thought I only preoccupied myself while waiting for someone to want to see me, all the while they were giving me space to work on my talents. Excited to see what new work I show up with to school to enhance their day. I think I will enjoy this new way at looking at my hobbies…talents.