Autumn leaves

I trudge back home from work, my jeans that trail across the mud with each step I take, reminding me of a snail inching towards its destination, its burdening shell weighing on its back.

No wonder snails are so... slow. And people, they make fun of it.

The bicycle catches on a stray stone and I stumble to get it back on balance. “And this stupid old bike,” I mutter.

Kicking at stones, scraping by alleyways, I finally reach home and leaning the bike on the seat I plop down and heave a great sigh, running my hands through my hair.

I realize that there are a lot of people home today. Most of them I’ve never even seen or known. Hm.

Sniffing at the dewy, musty air my eyes grow heavy as I look away, away. Somewhere away from my miseries, away from my home, away from here.

I’m awoken by the chirping of birds and rude glares from passerby’s who didn’t approve of my ‘home’

“Well, buy me a new one, then” I mutter to myself as I sit up and stretch my aching back.

I look around at the dingy surroundings, and suddenly dip under my seat with squinting eyes. Then I realize that the dewy odor I had sniffed at last night was the dirty puddle of rainwater right below the seat I was sleeping on.

My stomach grumbles.

I sigh.

Guess it’s time I get myself a new date.

I sit inside the mall, my muddy clothes exchanged for a slightly presentable one that I saved for frequent occasions like these. I run my hands through my hair, make sure my collar is standing straight, check if I had a case of the bad breath,- and wait.

Seconds melt into moments, and moments into hours as I realize I was slightly falling asleep.

I look into my watch.

9 pm. Well, all that dressing up gone to waste, huh.

Not even one shot.

Finally accepting defeat, I push my hands into my pockets, wondering what I was going to have for dinner as I trudge past the cafes, the merry go rides and bars, out of the mall.

And then I realize something.

I had forgotten my wallet.

I spin on my heels and rush back into the shopping mall so fast, I catch the securities attention. As if there was even anything worth stealing in the wallet, I chuckle.  But there was something much more precious, much more important that I just couldn’t bear losing.

I reach the seat I was sitting on a few moments, panting and out of breath.

Shoot.

It was gone.

In just a matter of seconds! I stand there fuming, unable to decide what to do.

Someone taps my shoulder from the back. Great, I think, turning around. Now offering an explanation to the securities was the last thing I wanted to do right now- I stop in my tracks.

Right in front of me she was standing, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, her eyes the darkest shade of midnight black, so enchanting, so deep…I could be lost in them forever. A hint of a shy smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she studied the desperation on my face. She chuckles.

“Here you go, you had dropped this,” she says.

“Oh, t-thank you,” I stutter, my fingers grazing the wallet. “I-I didn’t realize, really,” I stammer. “Well… you can have it back,” she says. She seemed to be in a hurry.

But I wasn’t in one.

My fingers seemed to not belong to myself anymore as they fumble around. Take the damn wallet, I command myself.

And I finally do.

But it slips and falls, its mouth gaping open like it wanted to reveal all my lies.

“Oh,-” I mutter bending to pick it up but she gets to it first, and her face hardens as her fingers graze its surface.

Anyone could tell it was completely, fully empty.

“Um, I was thinking...” she says “I was on my way home… want to grab a coffee?” I couldn’t believe my ears.

“Uh,” I say, willing my brain to think something up that would make me look less hopeless than I actually did. “I, I was on my way to the park, actually,” I finally say.

“Oh,” she says turning to leave, “Okay then,”

“But-!” I almost reach out for her, “But I’m free right now!”

Her smile made my heart skip a beat.

***

We sit at a beautiful themed café, flowers decorating every visible inch of it.

Roses, daisies, sunflowers and what not-dotted the entire café, the walls, ceiling, the very tables and chairs entwined with the flowers.

I wondered if they were even real.

“Isn’t this place beautiful,” she sighs beside me.

The only thing that was on my mind was who would have to pay the bill. Being a fancy café like this and all.

I only wished she was the type of girl I was wishing her to be.

“Let us order our drinks, then?” she enthusiastically asks. I nod.

***

“So, where do you live?” she asks.

“Uh,” I’m taken aback, “Just a few blocks away” I abruptly say.

“Oh,” she seems impressed “and what brings you here?”

“Uh… had some work”

“Aha, what do you work as?”

“Ah, this and that…” I quickly attempt the romantic dude “But the most important thing is…” I lean towards her “What do you do?”

She stares at me.

Silence.

And then she bursts out laughing, smacking my shoulder. I’m taken aback at how she has gotten used to me so quickly. Humans are weird, in a way, I think. Put them anywhere, anytime. Well in the beginning they complain, they deny things, but later on... they act like nothing even happened. The way they so easily get used to things is so eerie, so mysterious…

“But yeah,” she snaps me out of my reverie “Where do you work?”

My stomach growls.

My face falls as I bury them in my hands. The dirty side of the coat I had stitched up to cover, was showing.

I can’t do this anymore.

“You… okay?” she says, her darting eyes frantically reading my face.

I lift my head, a sad smile on my face.

“Perfectly fine,” I say, getting up from my untouched cup of coffee.

Three. “Thanks for inviting me though,”

I turn around. Two.

One.

“Wait,” she says, taking my cue.

“Don’t leave, yet”, she says. I don’t turn. “The drinks on me, by the way”

I smile.

A feminist, indeed.

“I mean, you don’t have to, I-” I say just for the sake of saying it, whilst sitting down at the same time.

“It’s no problem, really,” she says too, just for the sake of saying it.

We had a great time together, me and her.

We never met after that.

I trudge back to my home, the seat looking more inviting than ever now that my stomach wasn’t empty for a change.

Making myself comfortable, I watch the visitors in my home, for they keep changing.

My lazy eyes watch the kids swinging, some running round and round, and others on the see saw. Some jogging and others lazily sitting. My eyes follow a young boy jogging with a steady pace, an autumn leaf falling onto the sidewalk. A drop of rain falls with a ‘plop’ as my eyes droop closed, and then oblivion.

***