0 comments

American Contemporary Funny

“Just Trying to Help”

The Tuesday crowd at Rocco’s was smaller than usual and Manny wondered why. While other bars relied on drink specials and gimmicks to attract customers Rocco’s simply gave the patrons good service and a good pour. There was a regular mix of young and old, blue collar and white. Maybe it was old school but it was also a comfortable place to hang out. He was just finishing his beer when a man came in and sat down on the barstool beside him.

“Oh, I’m sorry, that seat is taken.”

The man turned toward Manny. “Yeah, I just took it.”

“Look, my friend is sitting there. That’s his Scotch. He just went to the men’s room.”

The man ignored him and, frustrated, Manny blurted out, “You better be careful, my friend is big enough to kick your ass.”

His words were no sooner out of his mouth when Adam came back to the bar. He glanced at Manny then at the man in his stool. “Excuse me but that’s my seat and that’s my drink in front of you.”

Without turning around the man said, “Your friend says you can kick my ass.”

Adam glared at Manny then back at the stranger. “Look, man, there are other stools and a lot of empty tables.”

“I like this one.”

Barroom fights were things Adam had only seen in movies and he wasn’t looking to be part of one but the man’s attitude had really pissed him off. The guy was holding a menu and Adam reached over and pulled it from his hands. The gauntlet had been dropped and people were watching.

Adam tossed the menu on to a nearby table and said, “There, that looks like a nice spot for you.”

When the man spun around and grabbed Adam’s arm, Chaz, the combination manager and bouncer hurried over and told the stranger, “Alright, I saw what you did here. This man was already sitting there so you’ll either find another place to sit or I’ll help you find the exit.”

Chaz’s size was intimidating enough but his voice could give a person chills. The stranger let go of Adam’s arm, stood up and quickly walked through the maze of tables and out the front door.

“Thanks, Chaz, I don’t know what that guy’s problem was.”

Chaz nodded and said, “Well, it might have had something to do with Manny here telling him you could kick his ass.”

Adam’s jaw dropped and he looked at Manny. “What the hell, man, you actually said that?”

Manny squirmed in his stool. “Well, it just popped into my head. I thought it would give him a hint and he’d move down the bar. I was just trying to help.”

“Well, what popped into your head and came out your mouth almost got me into a brawl.”

Chaz sighed and as he walked away he said, “Guys, in the future just call me when shit like this happens, okay?”

Adam went back to his stool and sat in silence while Manny ordered another beer. After a few very quiet minutes Adam muttered, “I left my phone in the car, be right back.” Twenty minutes later he walked back in and sat down.

Manny turned and said, “Man, you were gone so long I thought you went home.”

“No, I had to call Rebecca, she’s having more problems with her husband.”

“Man, you and I have both been through it. Why don’t those two just get it over with, get a divorce and move on? That little soap opera has been going on for a year, like ever since you moved back from Cleveland.”

“I know, I told her the same thing but I have to be careful and stay in the background.”

“Maybe if you two just got it all out in the open, you know just tell everyone you’re in love, her husband would get the hint and give it all up.”

“No way, she and I are keeping a very low profile. I know the guy’s name but I’ve never seen him or met him. She said she’s going to tell him in her own way and in her own time. And remember, I told you all of this in confidence.” He drained the last bit of his Scotch. “I’m heading for home. I have a meeting first thing in the morning.”

As was part of his normal workday morning routine the TV news was on in the background. He only paid half attention to it until he heard a local reporter talking about a man being found dead in his car in the parking lot of Rocco’s Bar. He stood frozen in front of the screen as a cop at the scene said the man was yet to be identified and further details were being investigated. Adam kept his car radio tuned to the news the entire way into the office but there were no updates on the story.

Around two o’clock the receptionist called him at his desk and said there was a man in the lobby who wanted to speak with him and that it was very important. When Adam reached the lobby the man handed him a business card and asked if there was a room where they could talk privately. Adam looked at the card then nervously led him into a small conference room and closed the door. They stood for a moment before Adam asked, “Would you like to sit down.”

They sat opposite each other and the man said, “Mr. Tate, as it says on my card I’m Lieutenant Paul Roberts. I’m a homicide detective and I’d like to ask you a few questions.”

No matter how many detective movies or TV shows a person has seen it can’t prepare them for when that question is asked for real. Adam stammered, “Uh, yeah, yes, what would you like to know?”

“I’m investigating a suspicious death situation. The body of a man was found early this morning in a car in the parking lot of Rocco’s Bar.”

“Yeah, uh, yes, I heard something about it on TV this morning.”

“Well, I’m trying to find people who were at the bar last night to see if they can help us. The manager gave me your name.”

His words caught Adam totally off guard. The people at Rocco’s only knew him as Adam. He couldn’t recall ever giving anyone his last name let alone telling them where he worked. “Well, yeah, I was there but just for a little while, for one drink, one drink with a friend. That was all.”

The men had talked for nearly half an hour, about Adam’s arrival and departure times and who he knew in the crowd. When Roberts asked him who he might have spoken to Adam paused, thinking back to the altercation with the man in his seat, and answered, “Nobody else, just my friend and the bartender. And I called another friend on the phone.”

Their conversation lasted another ten minutes and by the time it was over Adam was rattled. It was hard to concentrate for the rest of the afternoon. For the first time in years he left the office at exactly five o’clock. He called Manny from the car and they agreed to meet later at Rocco’s. It had been three days since he’d seen Rebecca and a call to her went right to voicemail. It didn’t look like his day was going to get any better.

As usual Manny was already sitting at the bar, drinking a beer and saving a stool for Adam. “Check it out, nobody’s fighting you for a stool tonight.” His humor didn’t do much to improve Adam’s mood.

“Yeah, I hope that was just a one-time thing.”

The bartender had seen Adam come in and brought him his usual glass of Scotch. He took one sip, set the glass down and said, “I had one shitty kind of day.”

Manny usually wasn’t as good at listening as he was at talking but he tried. “Why, what happened?”

“Well, I had a little visit from a cop today, actually he was a detective. He wanted to know if I could tell him anything about the dead guy they found here last night.”

“Oh yeah, I heard about it this morning. I wonder why he didn’t contact me.”

“I don’t know. To be honest I was surprised they came to see me because I didn’t think Chaz knew my last name. He even told the cop where I work and I never told him that.”

Manny was quiet for a moment and then said, “Well, I guess that’s my fault.”

“What do you mean?”

Manny turned toward him and gestured toward the back bar. “See that fishbowl over there? Chaz has this new promotion. You drop your business card in and every month he draws a name and the winner gets five free drinks.”

“I didn’t put my card in there.”

“No, but I did. Drywall hangers don’t get business cards so I used your new card that you gave me. I wrote my name on the back and dropped it in the bowl. I figured if they picked it we could split the drinks.”

Adam did a face palm and sighed. “So for the price of a few drinks the cops got my name and questioned me.”

“Look, man, I never thought it’d be a problem. Chaz is cool. Who’d have figured he’d give up your name?”

“It wasn’t Chaz, you’re the one who used my card.” After a slow sip of his drink he set the glass back down and said, “Okay, we can’t undo things now. Let’s just hope it ends here, no more cops and no more questions. I’m sure the tongues are already wagging at my office.”

“Yeah, relax, this will probably all blow over in a few days.”

A half hour of conversation and drinking had set a relaxing tone but it didn’t last. When Adam glanced toward the bartender she was looking up at the TV screen and Chaz was looking directly at him. A local station was giving an update on the man found dead in the car. The man’s photo was on the screen, the man who Adam had almost fought with the night before. Below his face was his name. It was Rebecca’s husband.

Adam froze, staring at the screen in silence. Manny noticed, He looked at the TV then back at Adam. “What’s the matter?”

“That guy up there, the dead guy, it’s Rebecca’s husband.”

Manny’s eyes widened. “Holy shit, that’s the guy you tangled with last night!”

Adam nodded. “Yeah, and everyone in the bar saw it happen and now he’s dead.” There was too much noise and he couldn’t hear the report but when he saw Detective Roberts appear he grumbled, “This thing just keeps getting worse.” He stared at the TV in silence and Manny did the same. Finally Adam said, “I’m not in the mood to hang out tonight, I’m heading home.”

“Yeah, man, I don’t blame you, this is one weird situation.”

As he pulled out of the parking lot Adam saw a police cruiser pulling in. “More questions for more people,” he thought. He was glad he’d decided to leave. An hour later he was sprawled on a chair watching television when the phone rang. He considered just letting it ring but finally answered, “Hello.”

Manny was clearly agitated. “Hey, man, right after you left a cop came into the bar. It was the cop who was on the TV. He went over and talked to Chaz awhile then Chaz points at me and the cop walks over to the bar.”

“Did he ask you any questions?”

“Yeah, first he asked if I knew you. Then he said to sit down with him at the back corner table so we could talk. I was scared shitless.”

“So what did he want to know?”

“Well first, Chaz must have told him that you tussled with that guy, that James Mancini, because he showed me the guy’s picture and asked if it was the same guy you…well, he called it an altercation.”

“What’d you tell him?”

“I said yes. I couldn’t lie when there were so many people who saw it happen..”

“Okay, what else?”

“He asked me if we were together the whole night and I said yes, except for when you went outside to make a phone call.”

“What the hell, man, you said that?”

“Yeah, I figured he wanted me to account for every minute. What’s the problem?”

“What’s the problem? I have a tussle with a guy, the bouncer kicks him out and he goes to the parking lot. A minute later I go out to the same parking lot. Next morning they find him dead. You see the connection now?

Manny was quiet for a moment then said, “Okay, I get it but I told him you came back in and had a drink and everything was cool.”

“Well everything is not cool. Nothing is cool. They’re gossiping about me at work, at Rocco’s. Rebecca won’t take my calls and it looks like I’m number one on the cop’s top-ten list. Tell me again, what’s cool?”

“Okay, bad choice of words. I was just trying to help.”

“Trying to help?! None of this would have happened if you hadn’t told the guy I’d kick his ass.”

There was silence at both ends of the call. When Adam finally said, “I gotta go.” Manny replied, “I’m sorry, man, hang in there.”

Adam called his office the next morning to say he’d be working from home. He wasn’t in the mood for strange looks and hushed conversations. He kept the television on in the background all day in case there were updates on the dead man, the dead husband of his girlfriend. At least he hoped she was still his girlfriend. The whole thing felt like a trashy movie. It was three-thirty when he looked out the window and saw a police cruiser pull up. Now his neighbors could be added to the list of suspicious people. He watched as Detective Roberts walked up the sidewalk and rang the doorbell.

This conversation was different than their first one. Roberts played it close to the vest, throwing out subtle comments about Rebecca as if to rattle him. There were crime scene photos to look at. The cop was good at his job and Adam felt himself getting more nervous but also angrier as the questioning dragged on. They finally reached a point where it was clear there was nothing more to say. Adam didn’t even attempt to be cordial as he walked Roberts to the door. It had been a very stressful day. He knew he couldn’t stay cloistered in his house indefinitely and he needed to get out. With more than a little reluctance he drove to Rocco’s.

Manny was rooted in his regular stool and Adam thought about how much time his friend spent in that spot at that bar. A few minutes later as he sipped his Scotch he started to tell Manny about his meeting with the detective. “This thing is starting to get to my head. The cops are relentless.”

“What’d he ask you this time?”

“He didn’t ask a lot of questions, just a few about my relationship with Rebecca.”

“Oh my god, he must have gotten that right from her.”

“Yeah, that’s what I think too. Mostly, though, he was showing me photos and talking about what they knew, like he was trying to scare me or something. I wonder if he’ll be coming after you with more questions.”

“Well, I don’t know what else I could tell him. The parking lot was pretty quiet that night. I left a few minutes after you and there was just one guy. You were already gone.”

The comment got Adam’s attention. “What guy? There was no one around when I left.”

“There was a guy standing by a car. He was having trouble trying to close the driver’s side door.”

“What kind of car?”

“It was a silver gray Malibu with a big dent in the door.”

“Holy shit, that was the car in the photos Roberts showed me. It was Mancini’s car. Did the guy see you?

“Yeah. I was going to ask him if he needed help but you know I don’t like to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. The guy let go of the door and ran over to this humongous black pick-up. It was all jacked up with oversize tires. It was parked right next to my car and I couldn’t open my door so I just stood there until he backed out.”

Adam stared down at the bar, lost in thought. It took him a moment to get his head around things and then he said, “You might have seen more than you realize. Could you identify the truck if you saw it again?”

“Yeah, it was a Ford F350 and the license was a vanity plate that read HI RIDER.”

“Manny, my friend, I think you just saved my ass.” There was a pause as they each took a sip of their drinks then Adam asked, “So if you saw all this going on why didn’t you tell the cop?”

“Well, I just figured it would be best to just answer the questions and not offer anything else. You know me, I don’t like to stick my nose in other people’s business.””

May 28, 2021 18:17

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

0 comments

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.