A Silver Smile

“C’mon! Do something! Move!”

A young boy, about six, wearing forest green shorts, a blue t-shirt with the words Blue kinda sus’ splattered on the front in bright red, and a Yankees baseball cap stares down what appears to be a statue. The statue is a person painted completely in glittering silver. They are wearing a full three piece suit, boots, a top hat and a silver rimmed monocle in their right eye. Their hands rest at their hips in a neutral pose with a slight bend in their knees. At their feet is a beautiful glistening silver plaque with black letters that reads “The Stoic Silver Sapien” with an additional crudely made sign that reads “Pull my lever for trick!” Next to the sign is a simple cardboard lever with a silver painted tennis ball.

The young boy squints his eyes at the sign and sounds out “S-ah-pie-n. Mom! What’s a sapien?”

A woman, about thirty, dressed in tight hot pink sweat suit with huge sunglasses drags her feet over to the sign.

She lets out an audible sigh and tiredly says “It’s word for people, hun. This man? Woman?” The mom looks for any clear sign to indicate gender, but finds nothing. “This person is pretending to be a statue as their act.”

The young boy scoffs and says “That’s stupid. Who would want to pretend to be a statue?”

He looks at the lever with a hint of curiosity. The Silver Sapien remains motionless as they watch the young boy look back at his mom as he tentatively reaches for their lever. The mom gives a shrug then nod of approval. The young boy smiles and pulls the lever.

Immediately they hear the clicks of gears cranking, the hiss of hydraulics, and the ticking of a clock. The Silver Sapien’s body begins to move around like an erratic robot. Striking various poses and freezing for about two seconds until moving again into another pose.

They see the young boy’s eyes light up with joy and bemusement. The Silver Sapien continues to do this until their twenty second pre-recorded track ends. The pose they ended in this time is one of their more difficult ones to maintain. Their arms are now crossed in front of them, their right leg fully bent down so that their butt looks like it is sitting in an invisible chair while their left leg kicks out straight. They call this pose the Russian.

Please pull it one more time. I hate this pose. I really need to take it out of my rotation! I can already feel my right quad begin to burn. What was I thinking?!

The young boy gives a little chuckle and says while pointing at the Silver Sapien “They are silly! Do it again!” He reaches for the lever and pulls it again. The Silver Sapien gives an inner sigh of relief as they hear their track play again, giving them the excuse to drop this pose immediately.

Thank the sweet merciful powers that be! I can always count on the curiosity of children!

The track stops and this time the Silver Sapien has chosen an easier, and more playful pose. Their feet firmly planted together with locked knees, they are bent over by the waist and have removed their silver top hat, choosing to freeze right as they are about to place it on the young boy’s head.

The young boy giggles with glee.

He shouts “Mom! Mom! Look! Now I’m the Silver Sapien!” He strikes the same pose the Silver Sapien was in when he first approached. The young boy smiles from ear to ear.

One of my most popular poses. A real crowd pleaser! I need to think of more interactive poses. Ones that really get the cameras out and tips rolling in! Not that I do this for the money! I ain’t no sell out! But money sure does help keep the art form alive!

The mom takes out a disposable camera and snaps a shot of her smiling son. Then she reaches into her purse and pulls out a crisp five dollar bill and puts it into the provided tip jar next to the Silver Sapien’s podium.

Five bucks! In this economy! The Grinning Golden Girlie charges twenty for pictures! Maybe I should start posting prices as well! No! You are not in it for the money, Silvia!

The young boy runs back to the lever and pulls it again.

The track plays but he shouts over it “Thank you! Make sure you get to freeze in a comfier pose” Then he runs over to his mom who takes him by the hand as they continue their stroll down the boardwalk.

Sweet kid! Maybe I will consider having one.

Next walks up another young boy, about ten, dressed in all black with eyes even more tired than the mom in hot pink.

His dad, about forty, dressed in a simple two-piece black suit puts his kid in front of the Silver Sapien and says “Stay here with…” he glances at the plaque “the Stoic Silver Sapien until I get back from this business call.”

The boy obediently nods and sadly says “Yes, father.” Then the father walks away down the boardwalk.

Ugh, I hate guys like him! They think us street performers are his free babysitters! You can’t even be bothered to take a pleasant stroll with your son down the boardwalk! Bum!

The boy takes a second to read the signs, walks over and then pulls the lever.

Okay Silvia! Time to put a smile on this sad kid’s face! This calls for my goofiest pose!

The track plays and the sad boy’s eyes spark with amusement as a small smile begins to form on his lips. The Silver Sapien is really hamming it up with their erratic robot movements this time. When the track ends the Silver Sapien has frozen in the most ridiculous pose. Their hands bent into their armpits, knees bent so that their butt is sticking out mid wiggle, and their tongue sticking out at the sad boy. A little less sad now. The boy reaches for the lever and pulls it again. The Silver Sapien cycles through three more times. Each time improvising another goofy pose to keep that small smile on the kid’s face. The final pose they end on is one where they have pulled out their silver handkerchief and pretending to wipe sweat off their brow looking absolutely exhausted from the rapid movement.

He lets out one chortle as the small smile becomes a big one.

Good job, Silvia! One more smile to add to the world! One less sad kid on this gorgeous day!

The father shouts at his kid “I’m sorry, Nate! Time is money! Let’s finish this walk so we can go home so dad can attend to some very urgent business. I’ll buy you anything you want from the gift store to make it up to you.” He reaches into his wallet and sticks a fifty dollar bill in his son’s pocket.

The smile the Silver Sapien worked so hard for disappears in an instant.

The sad boy says “Okay” as he hangs his head.

He reaches and pulls the lever one more time as he says “Thank you, Silver Sapien. At least you like me.” Then he pulls out the fifty dollar bill. He looks at it, back at his father, and then he tosses it in the tip bucket while making a defiant grunt. The boy walks away with his father a few paces ahead of him.

OOO SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS A MIME! THAT WAY I COULD REALLY GIVE GUYS LIKE THAT A PIECE OF MY MIND! Calm down, Silvia. Also even if I was a mime I still couldn’t talk. Maybe if I was a clown instead. Focus, Silvia! Here comes your final customer for today. Your whole shtick is that you are stoic! Be stoic! Like a real statue!

A young girl, about twelve, wearing a cute white and blue polka dot dress with salon quality wavy blonde hair runs up to their podium. She takes a moment to read the plaque and the sign with her little pointer finger tapping at her lips.

She looks up at the Silver Sapien and says rather confidently “It must be hard being stoic all day! You don’t get to smile at all?! I know I couldn’t smile all day as my job. Must be a rather dreary job.” Then the blonde girl pulls the lever.

Huh. I never thought about that. I love putting smiles on faces, but I never once thought to smile with my customers.

The Silver Sapien springs to life with their usual zest until the track ends and they strike a rather interesting pose. Their right hand has grasped their monocle while their left hand scratches their chin with their head slightly tilted to the left to indicate they are lost in thought.

The blonde girl twirls her hair and pulls the lever again as she says “Ooo got you thinking, did I? Smiling is something everyone should be allowed to do, even at their jobs. Although, my mom says that most adults hate their jobs and that’s why they don’t smile. Do you hate your job?”

No I don’t hate my job! Is that what my name implies? Such a smart kid. I didn’t even know that my stage name pigeon holes me into a category I want nothing to do with!

The track plays and the Silver Sapien does their usual movements, but when they freeze again they are in a new pose. Their fingers press against their temples, their face scrunched up in mock pain.

The blonde girl laughs as she says “I’m sorry! My mom also tells me I’m too curious for my own good. But life’s no fun without a little curiosity. Don’t worry about it too much. Maybe you like your job. Maybe you don’t. But you are definitely not stoic. If anything you a really silly! You should be the Silly Silver Sapien! That way you can smile whenever you want!”

This girl is going places! I don’t know what places, but she is definitely going to get there with a brain like that! I think I do love kids. Ugh…I hate it when my mom is right. Oh well time to do the one thing I thought I’d never do while in this persona.

A sweet, booming voice of authority calls out to the blonde girl “Jessie! Leave that poor street performer alone! Our movie starts in ten minutes! We gotta go!”

The blonde girl turns her head and shouts like a harpy “I’m coming, mom! Give me two seconds! Jeeze!”

She pulls out a twenty dollar bill, puts it the tip jar, pulls the lever and then snaps a quick picture with the Silver Sapien who is in their brand new pose.

It is the same pose as the one they started with the young boy in the baseball cap except for one small change. A silver smile from ear to ear.

The next day their plaque now reads “The Silly Silver Sapien” with stoic written over with the same crude notebook paper as their other sign.