ULTIMATE JOY

Regular coffee or tea? the waiter asked, it felt like he used to notice me as I am a regular customer now. I drink coffee and left for my home.

Next day I visited my parents for their memorial, I greeted them and spent some quality time with them talking about my life. They always listens to me, tells me the right path to go on. It was a very long day.

When I was six, my parents met with an accident. My uncle and aunt said they left for good. I was abandoned by them, they claimed all of our property and left me at the orphanage. Growing up in orphanage, was like a roller-coaster ride, the children doesn't talk to me, they bullied me- splashing the tomato sauce all over me, sometimes lock me in the dark room. I do not have the right to complain, because they pity me knowing that I was scammed by my relatives. My mother told me once if somebody offers you food, you should be kind to them for the rest of the life. I guess that's I have been doing for like twelve years now. As I reached my puberty, I was considered as a beautiful woman, on my way back home some street goons used to tease me by stopping me, cursing me, touching me, sometimes they even stretch my skirts. I never have parents to complain, so I have to suffer. Some teens in the orphanage do smoking, drinking and theft in the houses. Whenever they open their mouth, they curses somebody. For just once I want to have such a confidence to fight against the odds, but I was a shy kid who lives pitily as there was no one who can support me if I got into trouble.

After finishing my high school I want to enroll in an arts college, for that I have to save some money by myself as there is no fund left in the orphanage. I started working as a waitress in the morning and at night, I work in the bar to serve drinks. I took a year off to save some money, to grab a job, I must have graduate degree. I was working tirelessly, I was just hoping to enroll, I just have breads for the day, I have to face some inhumane behaviour while I was working in the bar. I want to shout over them but I have to keep on working. These Richy rich spent their money over drinking and enjoy life, whereas one can't afford tutions. I just feel god is unfair.

After one year, I got enrolled into the arts department but I have to earn to pay my fee, I was living a pathetic life with the same schedule everyday, an exhausted life in simple terms. I even didn't knew whether all my hardwork worth it or not. I was sitting on the stairs, the proffesor Nick came and offered me a energy drink saying "life is hard, isn't it?" I stated yeah. That's when I saw him dearly, his physique was sexy, he felt like a comfort. We keep meeting each other, passing on smile and just like that how we started dating. His hug and care was really warming, I complained to him about the unfair things I face. I love his cuddles, smile and him ofcourse. He asked why my name called "precious". I replied because I was the only daughter of my parents, they give all the joy of life to me. He used to make great art sculptures, whereas I was not as half as good. I now have someone to whom I can speak my mind. I am really in love with this phase of my life.

His art sculptures were presented in the art galleries, museum, he's quite famous. He was a good source of inspiration. Most of the students knew about our relationship, I now have some friends. I chill with them, hangout and enjoy party at their house. This weekend he invited me to visit the museum, to explore his art sculpture. Do I take up a notch? I am really looking forward to this event. I entered the museum, his art was surrounded by many people, I went near and was disheartened to saw my sculpture in an erotic theme. He was smiling as if the sculpture was a great source of joy to him. I ran away from there. He arrived at home asking what's wrong? Do you not like the sculpture? I thought you gonna love the way I portray you in my art. I argued with him, it felt like he never understood me. Just like that we broke up. All the things I have whether it is new friends, boyfriend comfort, love went away with him. I wanted to meet my parents very badly. So I met with my aunt who was living my lavish life, she got scared to see me as if I was some ghost. She thought I was not alive. I pleaded to her to tell me where my parents have been buried. She kicks me out of the house. I was once again left out alone in the streets.

I remember some fading memories where mommy and me used to visit the church, pray to God for the well-being. I just don't understand why people visit church? God doesn't make someone's life easy or God didn't save my parents. I was living a harsh life for like fourteen years now. Why should I believe there is some god, when everything I find in this world is harsh on me. This world full of luxuries, crafty people not for orphans like us. I never visited any government building before but someone suggested me to visit there- they will tell you about your parents. I didn't knew about banks or any official work that one should know about. I get the address of my parents cemetery, it's my first visit to them after fourteen years. But even after all these years, the graveyard silence making me feel nervous as if nothing was changed as if everything is alright. I cried the whole day, I pay my respect to them. I guess they also enjoyed our rendezvous. I get my ultimate joy living with them, after visiting them I am once again lonely.

After completing my graduation, I got a job in small art workshop, the pay was not high but I love the kind of work I am in. They were the only one who recruit a fresher like me. I live in an alley by myself in a small house. I was now living tiring and busy life in the workshop but never visited the church. I will never ever visit the church because there's no god for me, I don't get any pleasure believing in religious things. The ultimate joy is my parents to me.