Tears and Memories...

I rushed into the emergency room, my eyes swarming with tears that slid down my cheeks like a rain cloud lets go of its rain.

“Dad!”, I sobbed, sitting beside my father, his face was sickly pale, and his eyes drooped like as if he were dead and his body was all skin and bones. Although my dad was on airbags, tubes and pipes, I know he could hear me.

“Dad…”, tears streamed like crazy, rolling off my face like thick raindrops.

I reached for my dad’s bony feeble hand, why did he have to get cancer! My mum had her head concealed in her knees; her greying hair spewed all over her face like as if she had gone rabid. She looked up at me, the light mascara she uses, sprawled down her cheeks like black ink and I could see that she was still wearing last week’s clothes.

“Y-you should g-go dear…”, she said between sniffles, I sighed then stood up,

“I’ll get some fresh air”, I gave a readily detectable bogus smile, then gave my dad one last squeeze before I slipped out of the room, I glanced at my dad, his eyes were open, but I could see a tear sliding down his sunken withered cheek. I gave a sorrowful smile before wiping my lingering tears and headed outside.

Grabbing my car keys, I slid through my car door and started the engine. Turning on the Air Conditioner, I rested my head against the wheel and closed my bloodshot eyes, you could say I looked like a frenzied banshee. I heaved in a gush of air and sighed, my dripping wet eyelashes were preparing to be soaked again by my streaming tears. I cried it all out, yes, like a hose, slipping the negativity from my eyes. I thought crying would make me better, but it stayed, I needed memories… yeah… memories.

I stepped through my front door, it seemed deserted to me, I haven’t been home for at least four days, I spent it at the hospital, weeping at my dad’s sick body. He’s going to die! He’s going to die… I crumpled down the wall and began crying into my arms, my denim jacket was soaked wet from tears, I smelt weird, like sweat and grime. Then I realised that I hadn’t showered for 4 days and didn’t change my clothes. Staggering up, I headed towards the bathroom.

I slipped into my loose black tracks and an oversized grey shirt, pulling on some socks and letting my drenched hair free, I got out the garage door, slipping on my Nikes and hopped on my bike, I huffed, letting my blues out. I began to peddle slowly and that slowly turned to fast, the wind slapped against my face, the essence of fresh lawn and lilacs swelled my nose. It clearly tickled the inside hairs. My locks flapped in the breeze, drying itself in the process.

I settled myself by the time I approached the creek, I sat down on the grass at its edge, picking up a flat stone and flipped it against the water, I breathed in the fresh air, then I got lost in my memories…

I was four, dad was a wholesome fellow, his hair was a shady muddy brown that swept to his side smoothly, his eyes were silvery dusk grey, the creases and wrinkles he has now was displaced by a charming smile and dimpled cheeks. I was petite little girl, resembling my dad, he was my best friend, the only person that really appreciated and the only one that could make me laugh.

I learnt how to skip stones here, my dad was the one that taught me. We used to sit here and my dad grinning as my stones plonked inside the lake. I smiled slightly, a small tear slid down my cheek. I sighed then stood up, we used to sit here under the stars, my dad telling me the most ridiculous and the most-funniest stories, we used to laugh like nothing in the world. My dad was my best friend, I wasn’t expecting him to end up with cancer, end up living on tubes and pipes. I walked my bicycle out of the grass and rode back home, enjoying the darkness elope me.

I plopped myself on the couch, sighing. Maybe dad will stay… My gaze snapped and so did my thoughts as my phone rang like crazy. I picked it up, heaving at the contact, MUM.

“Hello…”, I asked, nervousness filling my voice, a bead of sweat formed at my forehead. On the end of the line, I heard sniffles and sobs that ended with a moaning wail.

"M-mum?", I hesitated, my heart racing with anxiety at her silence.

"H-he's gone", she said in a whisper then burst into tears.

My breathing ceased, my heart tore and my eyes became glassy with dewy tears.

"No! This can't be! I'm coming!", I cried, then scrambled to my feet, grabbed my keys and rushed off to the hospital.

I ran, my head pounded with horrid tears, my eyes wrenched and everything was motionless. I reached the emergency room, I found my dad's inanimate body, laying on the bed, his eyes were sealed, his whole body was limp and his pulse was gone, he wasn't breathing. I grabbed his cold, pale skeletal hand then massaged it with my thumbs.

"No! Wake up! Dad! Don't leave me! Please!", I lamented, my heart throbbed and my mind was not binding things around.

I inhaled and staggered out of the room, my feet scarcely supporting me. I retired down on a waiting bench, bawling my eyes out, I struggled to breathe, it must have been stuck in my lungs. I cradled, my legs to my chest, letting my pants absorb my tears.

Then it stopped, I smiled... I thought of cheery old dad, holding my tiny hand as we trudged our way back home in the inky dark night, the stars watching us from above and the rocks we had skipped drifting towards the bed of the lake.

I'll miss you, dad...