Feline Alien

Nellie awoke, momentarily disoriented. The last thing she remembered was sitting down in her recliner to watch her favorite soap opera, ‘Passion and Pride’. Now the closing titles were scrolling past and it was almost dark outside. She stiffly scrambled upright, annoyed with herself. The main character Stephanie had just been about to find out that she had married her fiance's identical twin brother by mistake. Nellie hoped her friend Henrietta had watched the episode and could tell her what happened. Her grandson Jack had offered to show her how to record her favorite shows, but he might as well have been teaching her how to program an explosive device as far as Nellie was concerned. She smiled at her cat Fuzz as she pushed him off her lap.

“Here I am getting all wound up about a story on the television,” she said. “What kind of foolishness is that? I need to get a life, as Jack would say.”

Ever since her husband Dwight had died a couple of years ago, Nellie had found herself talking to Fuzz a lot. She missed Dwight, although there wasn’t a lot of difference between him and Fuzz as conversationalists. The news came on at that moment. Nellie rarely watched it. It tended to make her feel helpless and hopeless. Before she could turn the television off, a worried looking news anchor appeared and started to say something about urgent warnings and possible alien landings. At least, that was what Nellie thought he said. Her hearing wasn’t what it used to be. Before the anchor could complete his sentence, the picture dissolved into crackling, hissing static and went blank. Nellie grabbed the remote control and tried turning the television off and on again, which was the extent of her technical skills. The screen stayed blank.

“For goodness’ sake,” she said to Fuzz. “I’ll have to call Jack or Bob.”

She picked up the cell phone which her son Bob had insisted on giving her and laboriously scrolled to find his number. Whoever designed the infernal thing never thought about making it easy for people with arthritic fingers. A tremulous little voice came from the phone.

“Help. Please help.”

“Jack? Bob? Is that you? Stop playing,” said Nellie, irritated.

At that moment there was a thunderous banging on her front door. Fuzz, hissing and bristling, shot past her and disappeared into the bedroom. Some of the neighborhood kids had recently thought it was funny to knock on peoples’ door and run away.

“I’ll give you a piece of my mind,” said Nellie, grabbing her walking stick and flinging the door open. She was almost trampled by a posse of large men in military uniforms, masks and dark goggles who charged into the house.

“Hands up,” the lead agent barked at Nellie who had been flung back against the wall. “I said, hands up!”

“That’s as far as I can lift them,” said Nellie. “Didn’t your mother teach you to wipe your feet? Look at the mess you’re making on my carpet with those muddy boots. What do you think you’re doing?”

One of the men returned from the bedroom, holding Fuzz, who was furiously spitting and scratching, by the scruff of the neck.

“This is the only sign of life, sir.”

Nellie whacked him on the wrist with her cane.

“You let go of my cat. Who are you people anyway?”

Fuzz squirmed free and ran under the couch.

“Ma’am, sorry for the intrusion,” said the leader. “We are from a top secret Federal agency. This is a national emergency. An extra-terrestrial vessel has landed in the vicinity, and we are looking for any alien beings that might have escaped from it. We are not sure what shape this life form may take or how dangerous it is. Please stay at home and do not open the door to anyone. Everyone is in lock-down until further notice.”

He gestured to his men who trooped out after him. Nellie slammed the door.

“What a cheek,” she said to Fuzz who was still cowering under the couch. “Aliens indeed.”

“Please help me,” said the same voice she had heard earlier.

She looked around. The voice seemed to come from Fuzz who was sitting in the armchair, a soft glow around him. Fuzz was also under the couch, peering intently at his double.

“Lord, I am losing my marbles,” she said. “That, or I need new glasses.”

“Please listen,” said the cat on the armchair. “I need your help to escape, or they will imprison me for use in scientific experiments. I will not hurt you.”

“You’re an alien? Why do you look like my cat?”

“We are not visible to the human eye. We must copy the form of some other being so you can see us. Your cat was the only creature available for me to imitate.”

“If you are invisible, why didn’t you run past them?” said Nellie.

“They have thermal sights and other equipment that might detect me,” said the alien Fuzz.

There was another knock on the door. The alien cat disappeared in a slight puff of cool vapor.

Nellie peered through the peephole. “You again?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said the agent. “I heard you talking in there. Who’s with you?”

“My cat. You lot scared the wits out of him. I was trying to soothe him. You can come in if you want but wipe your feet first.”

She opened the door. He searched around cursorily and left, nodding apologetically. Nellie shut, bolted and chained the front door and pushed a chair against it for good measure.

"You can come out now, Mr. Alien."

She returned to the living room. The two Fuzzes were cautiously rubbing noses.

“Alright, which of you is the alien?” said Nellie.

“I am,” said one Fuzz, leaping gracefully onto the windowsill and peering outside. The other one went off to his food dish and began eating hungrily. Nellie was relieved to see that his appetite had not been affected by all the commotion.

“Tell me how you got here and what you want,” she said to the alien.

“We were traveling between galaxies when our leader got lost. We landed here by mistake.”

“Reminds me of Dwight,” said Nellie. “That man never would ask for directions.”

“Our crew scattered and assumed various forms. If we can get together at a safe spot, another ship will come to pick us up.”

“Like waiting for roadside assistance,” said Nellie. “How do you know all this?”

“We communicate by telepathy. This planet seems to be remarkably primitive in that regard.”

He sniffed disdainfully in the direction of Nellie’s cell phone, his whiskers twitching.

Nellie hesitated briefly.

“You could meet here, depending on what shape you’ve all taken. I don’t want a lot of, let’s say, cows in my house. Also, I’d rather your ship didn’t park on my lawn, though goodness knows that other bunch have made a mess already.”

Deep tire tracks crisscrossed her grass and her flowerbeds looked as if they’d been trampled by elephants. Alien Fuzz shook his head.

“My comrades can remain invisible. The other ship will hover above your house and teleport us up. We will be gone before you know it. Thank you for your assistance.”

“You’re welcome,” said Nellie. “It’s been nice talking to you. My Fuzz doesn’t have much to say for himself.”

The alien cat sat motionless on the windowsill, his large green eyes focused on the sky. The aura around him intensified and began to throb like a strobe light.

“Here, careful,” said Nellie, hastily closing her curtains. “They’ll be back to see what’s going on.”

Alien Fuzz stretched and arched his back.

“My comrades are on the way. How can I show my appreciation?”

Nellie thought for a moment.

“Can you help me work that television and recorder and all those gizmos? It would be so nice not to have to keep calling Bob and Jack.”

“Of course.”

He jumped down from the windowsill and began rubbing against her legs. Nellie flinched, but he felt just like the original Fuzz. She felt a warmth course through her body, like a tiny electric shock.

“I think you will find that helps. Now, you cannot see them, but my companions are here, and our ship is calling us. Thank you for your help, Ms. Nellie. Goodbye.”

The whole room shone with a beautiful golden light which dazzled her and then faded away. Suddenly there was only one Fuzz, sniffing disconsolately around the room for his new companion.

“How about that?” said Nellie, shaken. She opened her curtains and gasped. Her garden was restored to perfection. She stooped to pet Fuzz.

“Those television shows don’t seem near as interesting after all this. I don’t think I’ll tell anyone what happened, or they’ll cart me off to the funny farm for sure. But I’m going to call Henrietta and start planning some trips. We two old biddies need to get off our recliners and go on some real adventures. And maybe we can get another kitty as company for you. A plain old Earth one, of course."

Fuzz butted her with his head and purred loudly.