A Mirrored View

~*~

 Toni knew nothing except how to be a carpenter and work with tools. But since the accident caused by a drunk driver, he had lost the use of his legs but according to a few his drive for life. At least for the time being. Even though the doctors say with time and therapy he would eventually regain the use in his legs, it wasn’t soon enough for him. And with each painful appointment with the therapist, he began to get discouraged.  

However, he still had to make a living and since he was unable to go back to what he had done before the accident, he had to learn a new skill until he could go back to construction.  His wife Jan was as supportive as she could be, but he was a very determined man who did not like change. Especially when it came to his livelihood. And he said as much.  

But when Jan tried to talk to him about getting back on his feet and not giving up as he had done several times before, he snapped at her.  And she all but walked out on him.  But she knew he was frustrated and that’s why she kept trying. 

One day Jan was driving by the community college and saw a banner advertising new courses on learning new skills, so she made a u-turn and went to speak with someone about what they were offering. 

There were a few that interested her and she knew there were a few that would interest Toni.  After she got the information on days, times, prices and where the courses would be held, she headed home. But not before stopping at the market for a few things.

When she arrived home Toni was sitting on the porch watching the kids, the traffic and the neighbors enjoying a nice spring day. Just as he had been when she left. 

“Hey babe,” he said smiling at her as she came up on the porch.

“Hey there.” she smiled back as she held two sacks of groceries.

“Here let me get the door for you,' he said, turning to pull the screen open for her.

“Thank you,” She smiled as she headed into the house. After two more loads from the car to the house she came back out and joined him. In her hand was the paper she had gotten from the college. He was still looking at the neighborhood and the activities surrounding him.

“What's that?” he pointed at the paper in her hand.

“Oh the college is offering community courses and I thought we could go learn something new.”

 “We?” His eyebrow shot up.

 “Yes we silly.” she replied.

 “What could I do?” He asked now, shifting his gaze between her and the activities on the streets.

 She tried to hand him the paper. “ You can learn to cook, you have always wanted to do that.”

“Yes when I was able to stand on my own two feet.”

“Just because you can't stand and walk right now doesn't mean you can't do something new and different.” She said calmly as she sat next to him. But she was already seeing where this was going. And she was not going to have any part of it. His life had changed and he was going to have to get used to it and adapt. After all his condition wasn't permanent, but until he was back on his feet she was not going to let him give up. 

But he didn't say anything. 

“Come on, just take a look,'' she said holding the slip of paper out to him. “ There are things on here we have wanted to learn for a long time.

“Yes when we retired.”

“Well retirement came early.” She said standing and turning toward the door. “I am not going to continue this out here but you are not going to give up. You have lost your ability to walk for a time, not your ability to think.” With her hand on the handle of the screen she stopped and looked at him. “Did you ever think you lost your legs for a reason? Maybe so you could learn something new and be able to inspire others?”

But he still said nothing.

“Fine sit out here and say nothing. But let me leave you with this thought, you have never let obstacles stand in your way before. In fact you used to be the voice for those in chairs remember? That's why I fell in love with you. You fought for injustice. you fought for equal rights ....” Then she opened the door and after one last sentence went in.... "until now.”

**

After she went in letting the door close behind her, he was again alone on the porch. The longer he sat there watching everyone having fun running and playing and living their lives, he had to admit she was right. But he could not bring himself to admit it to her or anyone right now. All he could see was revenge and depression. He had been a construction worker most of his life and now because of the actions of someone else he was sidelined for however long it took.

Now lost in thought he didn’t notice the van pull up across the street and everyone began to get out. The driver opened the side door and lowered a ramp. Then a young man wheeled onto the ramp and waited until it was lowered before rolling off and toward the home across the street. 

Once the doors were closed the man joined the others inside. A short time later everyone emerged from the home and got back into the van.

“Afternoon Mr. James.”

“Afternoon, where are you headed today”

“The Lake.” The young girl said as she continued to the van and got in.Pretty soon they drove away and he was still there sitting on the porch watching life pass him by. Before long the phone began to ring and while he knew Jan was in the house he went in anyway.

“.... oh hold on here he comes.” Jan placed her hand over the receiver. “It's your therapist Cindy” She said as he reached for the phone. After a brief chat they hung up. The rest of the night was quiet and there was no more conversation about the courses at the college. Which meant the next step was his. But was he ready? 

                 ***

That night as they laid there  he tried to sleep, there were so many things on Toni’s mind: the conversation with Jan, the young man in the wheelchair van going to the lake, her words on how stubborn he was, the therapist and therapy. 

For some reason he couldn’t shake any of it as it replayed over and over as if it were on a loop.  The boy in the chair, the chat with Jan, his therapist, the wheelchair van, the slip of paper with the courses….

At some point the images stopped and he was sitting on the side of his bed with the clock sitting on the nightstand blinking. Which meant the power had gone out and come back on sometime during the night. 

When he looked behind him where Jan should be he was met with an empty space. “Jan… Jan where are you?” But there was no answer so he decided to get in his chair and go look for her.

As he was pulling his chair over the phone on his side table began to ring and he reached over to answer it “Hello.

   'Save me.” was all the caller said.

“Who is this? Jan?” Toni asked, holding the phone out looking at it thinking it was a joke. But the caller didn't answer, instead they just repeated what they had said a moment ago.

“Save me.” Then suddenly there was a sound behind him. 

Turning suddenly he saw his reflection in the mirror. But the figure was a much younger version of himself. He must have been a junior in high school. And  he was standing. 

“ Who are you and why are you here?”

“You can call me Toni Jr.” then paused briefly before continuing. “I need you to save me - save us - so we can do what we are supposed to do in our lives.” The figure in the mirror said to me.  

“How do you know what we are supposed to do in our future? You're younger than me.”  Toni Sr. said to his younger self. 

“Because  when we were teenagers, we wrote goals on paper and until the accident, have been working toward those goals in some way.”  Toni Jr. said. “ And nowhere on that paper did it say sit on my ass and give up!” 

“What goals? What list? I can’t remember what I wrote that far back.” Toni Sr. said to the reflection wondering if he was going crazy. 

“Do you remember the owner of the building you were working on before the accident?” 

“No.”

“Then walk through the mirror and find out.” 

For a moment Toni Sr. was speechless. There was no way he would be able to walk on the other side, or even get his chair past the mirror’s frame.  What about breathing?  Toni Jr. must have read his mind because he spoke. “All you have to do is believe. Remember, you used to know how to do that before the accident.”  His younger self replied. 

“And yes, this is real.” He continued as he reached through the mirror pinching me. 

“Ouch.”  Toni Sr.said rubbing the spot.

“Well are you going to do it?” Came the voice on the other end of the phone that I had forgotten I was still holding. 

What choice did Sr. have? His wife was missing and this younger me most likely would not go away unless he did.

“Yea I am.” Toni Sr. said to both the person on the phone as well as the figure in the mirror. He then clicked off the phone and moved to his chair before rolling to the base of the mirror. 

Without warning, he moved one foot slowly toward the mirror. When he was about to touch it, there was no resistance. He set it on the ground and used the arm rests to put his weight on that foot and put the other foot beside the first. 

Now on the other side of the mirror, he looked back upon an empty room and an empty wheelchair at the base of the mirror.  

****

Now turning Toni Sr. refocused on the scene before him. He looked back at one of the neighborhoods he lived in when he was a junior in high school.

“Everything that helped us decide what we wanted to do with our lives happened in this time of our lives.” Toni Jr. said looking around. 

The farther we got in town the more places he had forgotten about appeared. The park, the zoo, the homes of friends. Suddenly a young woman appeared as she  came from one of the homes. “ Hi there Toni.” She said as both Toni Jr. and Toni Sr. answered. “Hi.” 

Then children of all ages came running from everywhere  surrounding us. “Is he the one?” One of them asked.

“Am I the one for what?” Toni Sr. asked as the young woman joined them on this journey. “You’ll see.” 

“How does my future affect these children?”  But there was no answer. Before long the crowd had cleared and we came upon a small cottage in the middle of a beautiful garden.

As the older of the two wondered who lived there, Toni Sr. heard a voice coming from within the cottage. Both Jr. and the girl got closer but Sr. stayed back. He didn’t want to trespass. But they motioned him closer as they turned and looked through the window. 

Inside, was a young boy who stood at a makeshift podium. The furniture looked as if it had been arranged auditorium style all facing the front of the room. In various chairs were stuffed animals as if they were eagerly awaiting for him to speak. 

Then he cleared his throat and looked out over the room. 

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. We have all gathered here to determine whether to change rules pertaining to sporting events here on campus.” The boy said, taking a deep breath. “Over the three years I have been a student here, there has only been one time wheelchair athletes have competed in any type of sporting event.  And that was when the Special Olymphtics was here on campus recruiting for members. Since then  there has been nothing else.” 

He was clearly in a zone because it did not phase him when people began gathering from various rooms of the house. He merely looked at them and continued. 

Turning from the scene, Toni Sr. spoke to those who stood next to him. “I vaguely remember that. But if I recall I failed in changing anything.”

“You didn’t fail, it just took time to change things,” the young woman spoke. “And because things didn’t change immediately you lost your true passion.” she whispered to me.

“What is your name?” 

“Jan.” She simply answered.” Now shh and watch.” She said as the lights came back on and we were looking at the gym only years later.  

 Soon a man with a smartly trimmed beard and mustache wearing thin silver framed glasses stepped to the mic. “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, for those who are new here I am principal Myers.” He began looking around the room. “Many years ago I used to be a student at this school and sat in those same bleachers listening to countless assemblies.”

 “ However, it was because of one of those assemblies I am pleased to be back at this school as the principal. And as principal I can make changes to what happens when it pertains to programs that benefit students.  And one of those programs is the Special Olympics and how everyone should have the chance to participate in sports. Well today we are changing school policy regarding wheelchair athletics…” As the man continued speaking  Toni Sr. just stood and listened. 

“See Toni, you did make a difference and someone did hear you. It just wasn’t an adult back then but a fellow student.” Jan smiled. 

Toni Jr. turned and began walking down another street. This time Toni Sr. recognized it immediately because it was the construction site he had been working on before the accident.  

 As everyone looked at the housing community Jan spoke.“Once you graduated, your passion for disabled people remained. But your public speaking days ended. Instead you became a carpenter designing homes for disabled residents.”  Her words fell silent now as Toni Sr.just looked at the homes that were still being built. 

His younger self now spoke. “ Even though we can’t walk right now, there are things that can be done to still honor our goal to make a difference.” 

“Like what? What can I do from that stupid chair?”  

“There are many like you who believe life has stopped for them because they can’t walk.  But Jan gave you the answers earlier today.”

“You mean the college courses?”

“Yes. You need to continue to encourage and inspire others with disabilities to be all they can be.  Even if they have to learn something new and change the course of their lives.” Toni Jr. told his older self. 

“Are you ready to go back and join me in bed Toni?”

“Yes,” his older self said as they moved again. They were now standing before the mirror and his chair was sitting on the other side. 

Before he got back in his chair leaving my past behind him, he thanked both his younger self and future wife. He then turned and took a step back and sat back in the chair once again.

Before rolling back to bed, Toni Sr. waved at them and they waved back before vanishing from view. 

“Are you okay dear?” Jan asked as the older man moved to get back into bed.

“Yea I’m great, just had a muscle spasm and didn't want to wake you.” He said.

“Oh okay good.” She smiled as we kissed and fell back to sleep.

*****

The next morning came quicker than he had hoped. It seemed only moments ago he fell back to sleep after the adventure through the mirror.  But regardless of what time he went to sleep he had a busy day ahead and wanted to get started as soon as possible. He had college courses to look through and see which one he wanted to enroll in. He soon rolled into the kitchen with a new bounce.  “Hey where is that piece of paper with the courses on it?”  He asked.

“It’s on the table there, why?” she pointed. 

“Because I changed my mind and want to see which one I want to take” He said, going to the table and reaching for the paper. 

“Really?”

“Yes. Which one were you interested in taking? 

“The cooking course.” She beamed. “ Maybe learn new recipes.” 

“That sounds great, let's do it.” He said smiling as he set it aside. 

And with that they had breakfast and headed out to register for cooking courses scheduled to meet that next Monday at noon.

On the way home Jan had to ask why the change of heart. 

“I am making amends to my younger self and working to improve the things I can from the comfort of my chair. To show others that no matter where they are in life nothing is impossible.”

“Why the change?”

“I had a dream last night, and it opened my eyes and showed me that even if we can’t see it, the things we say and do can have a lasting impression on others.” He simply said as they drove home. 

 The end.