Tarrdic

It is Ralphie’s third birthday and his Aunt Maude has just given him the most exciting gift. It’s a teddy bear. But not just any teddy bear. It has moveable arms and legs and is covered in brown bunny fur, making it super soft. A red satin ribbon is around its neck, and its eyes are made of black plastic.

Ralphie’s Aunt Maude, his great-aunt, is s widow. Her husband passed on years ago. Having no children of her own, she dotes on Ralphie and his three sisters. Smiling, she watches Ralphie unwrap the gift as he squeals with delight. “What are you going to call him?”

Knitting his little eyebrows together, he sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth just as he has seen his father do whenever his father is concentrating. Holding the bear with both hands at arm’s length, he exclaims, “Tarrdic! I’ll call him Tarrdic.” Everybody “ahhs” and chuckles. Aunt Maude leans in close. “Be sure to love Tarrdic. Teddy bears need lots of love.”

Ralphie did love Tarrdic so much that from the very first day, they became inseparable. They played outside, climbing on rocks and rolling down grassy hillsides together. Actually, Tarrdic got thrown into trees and tumbled back down to earth as Ralphie laughed.

 While his sisters were in school, Ralphie’s mom would take him and Tarrdic grocery shopping at Phillip’s Market. The store had a child-size grocery cart just for kids. Ralphie would pull Tarrdic’s legs through the openings and then point a finger at him. “You have to be a good boy and not scare others. You are a bear, after all.”

Ralphie was always fascinated by the large cow’s head on the wall in the dairy section. Elsie the Cow represented the Borden Dairy Co. Elsie told everyone to “enjoy a nice glass of milk.”  

One Saturday afternoon, the children go to the matinee showing of Pinocchio at the Cameo Theatre. His sister Kathleen is the oldest and in charge. She sits next to Ralphie in case he gets scared. Ralphie tells her she doedn’t have to because he has Tarrdic to protect him. That night Ralphie is falling to sleep with the sound of Jiminy Cricket singing ‘Wish upon a Star.” Ralphie thinks how wonderful it would be if Tarrdic could become real like Pinocchio had in the movie when he saw a falling star flashing by his bedroom window. Squeezing Tarrdic tight, he wishs and wishs and wishs until he falls asleep holding the little teddy bear in his arms.

The following morning Ralphie awakens to the smell of pancakes. He glances around his bed in search of Tarrdic. “Hey! Where are you, you bad bear!” Ralphie’s heart begins to beat rapidly when he recalls his wish from the night before. Did Tarrdic get up and walk away? Ralphie throws off his covers and leaps from his bed, only to land on Tarrdic, who’s lying face down on the floor. “Oh, you only fell out of bed.” Disappointed, he reaches down and picks the bear up, and his face brightens as soon as he does. “It’s okay, I love you anyway!”  Happy again, Ralphie swings Tarrdic by the arm as he races down the stairs for breakfast. Tarrdic, on the other hand, is horrified and confused. “What is this? What has happened to me?!? I’ve changed somehow! “ As they enter the kitchen, Tarrdic hears the boy’s mother call to him.

“Good morning, Ralphie. I’ve made Sunday morning pancakes for everyone, but yours looks like Tarrdic. See?” On his plate is one large pancake with two smaller ones for ears. His mother has used whipped cream for the eyes, nose, and mouth. Holding the teddy bear over his plate, Ralphie says, “Look, Tarrdic, it’s you!” He then lays the bear on the table and pulls out his chair. 

“Oh no you don’t, mister!"his mother reprimands. "You must wash your hands first and get that dirty bear off my table!”  Ralphie throws the bear onto the parlor couch and goes to wash his hands.

Tarrdic is lying on the couch with one arm behind his back. Bell, the family dog, trots over and sniffs him. Mother yells, “Bell, leave Tarrdic alone!” The pup gives him one last snort and leaves. 

Tarrdic is thinking. “That’s Mommy. I know her, I know Ralphie too. He’s the boy who loves me, and I love him. I know his touch, his laugh, his smell. But how? When did I become aware? I can feel, smell, see, and hear but can’t speak or move. It is like I’ve just been born!” Ralphie’s wish has been granted, but it takes time for the complete transformation to take place. Therefore, Ralphie doesn’t know what has taken place.

When Ralphie reaches kindergarten age, he is told that Tarrdic is not allowed in school. When he asks why, his mother replies that if everyone brought their favorite toy or dollie to school to play with, when would they learn their ABCs? “But don’t worry, I’ll keep Tarrdic company.” And she did, too. She would have him give a kiss goodbye to Ralphie as he left for school and then would prop him up in the corner of the rocking chair. From there, she could see him as she ironed, baked, or prepared supper in the kitchen. At three o’clock, she’d tell Tarrdic, “Your boy will be home soon!” And sure enough, Ralphie would walk through the door. It seemed to her that the bear smiled, but it was probably just the lighting.

Time is passes by swiftly, and Tarrdic is seeing less and less of Ralphie. By late elementary, Ralph has made many new friends and learns thatthey no longer played with teddy bears. So Tarrdic gets left at home. Just the same, Ralph would always spend time with his old friend and occasionally sneak a little kiss to him. Sometimes, Ralph thought he could almost hear Tarrdic purring.

By Ralph’s junior year, he goes to the local trade school to learn carpentry. After he graduates, he gets a job as an apprentice with a friend of his father’s, a contractor.

That’s when Ralph’s mother decides to redo Ralph’s bedroom to make it more suitable for a young man. She buys a new bed, a chest of drawers, nightstands, lamps, curtains, and wallpaper. She stores away his trophies and cowboy pictures and games. She gathers his childhood toys and places them in a big cardboard box on which she writes “toys.” But when it comes to Tarrdic, she can’t bring herself to just put him in the box with the rest of the toys. She holds Tarrdic in front of herself, wondering why. “He is just a toy. No!” she says sternly.   “Tarrdic is not a toy! He is more special than that.” Finding a shoebox, she lines it with white tissue paper and makes a little pillow from Kleenex for his head to rest on. She gently places Tarrdic inside the box and frowns. “You look sad. Don’t be. I’ve made it nice and safe for you.” Mother then takes Tarrdic to the attic and places him in a corner where she feels he’d be safe.

                                                                 …

Tarrdic hears her footsteps descend the attic stairs and the door close. He lays still in his little cardboard coffin. It is very quiet, and Tarrdic wonderes why Mommy has done this to him. “Did I do something wrong? Am I being punished for something?’ Tarrdic feels a tightening in his chest. “I want to see Ralphie. It’s almost time for him to come home from work! I want to see him now!” Tarrdic listens, hoping Ralphie will be mad at Mother for putting him in the attic. “Maybe he’s on his way right now, climbing the stairs to rescue me.” Tarrdic listens, but there is nothing but silence. The little bear feels like he’s been dropped into a deep, dark hole and forgotten. “RALPHIE!”

Time passes slowly for the small bear. He continues to wait, never giving up hope that he’ll see Ralphie again. In his time of waiting, Tarrdic acquires the ability to move, though he still can’t speak. “Of course, I can’t speak. Ralphie probably wished I would turn into a real bear. Bears can’t speak.” Still, he waits. The summers in the attic are unbelievably hot, and the winters are freezingly cold. Sometimes, people would come and take things down from the attic or bring things up. He has books piled on top of him now, and the corner of his shoebox is crushed. Still, he waits.

One day, Tarrdic hears footsteps shuffling up the stairs. When they reached the top landing, he hears puffing and wheezing as the person approaches. “Now, where is that damned light?” an ancient voice asks. “Oh, there it is.” Tarrdic hears and feels the books from the pile being moved. “Ahh!” exclaims the man. “The old family album.” After lifting the album off the dingy shoebox, his eyes nearly pop out of his head. Ralph can’t believe what he is seeing. In his mother’s handwriting is the name “Tarrdic.” Setting the family album aside, Ralph picks up the box and opens it. He lifts the cover off and gasps. Dropping the box, he shoots straight up and strikes his head on a low wooden beam. Ralph’s knees buckle, and he crumbles to the floor.

Tarrdic rolls out of the box and is free for the first time in sixty-seven years. He sees the old man on the floor before him and immediately recognizes him. Filled with great joy, the little ball of fur rushes to the old gent, placing a paw on his leg.

Ralph feels around until he finds his glasses. He looks at Tarrdic with eyes wide, lips quivering. “Tarrdic, is that you? How did this happen? I don’t understand. You’re alive!”  Looking around the attic for an answer, Ralph spies the old record rack containing 45’s and albums. The first one in the rack is the complete soundtrack to Pinocchio. The poor old man’s eyes glaze over as he recalls seeing a shooting star.  He gasps, covers his mouth with gnarled fingers, and his eyes flood with tears. “Oh, Tarrdic, my dear friend, what have I done to you? I’m so sorry, it was just a small boy’s whistful wish!”

Tarrdic crawls up on Ralph and nuzzles into the crook of his neck.  Ralph can hear Tarrdic making soft noises of happiness. Wiping tears off his stubbled cheeks, he takes Tarrdic in his arms. “Of all the worst fate, I've just found you. You who have suffered loneliness for so long, only to tell you this.” Ralph snuffles and swallows hard. “I got a call from the doctor’s office the other day. It seems that I am very sick, and there is nothing the doctor can do to help. He says...Ralph chokes up..."He says I’ve only have a month left to live.” Tears stream anew down his face.

Tarrdic looks up into Ralph's eyes and puts a little paw gently on his chest.  Ralph hugs the tiny creature and kisses him over and over. “Please, Tarrdic, don’t be scared. I won’t leave you alone ever again! I’ve just got an idea! Do you remember my sister Elaine?  Well, she has a daughter, my niece, who has a daughter, my grand-niece. This young lady is married and is going to have a baby. Her name is Kate, and they already know the baby will be a boy! I will call Elaine to tell her the news about myself and will ask her for a favor. I’ll first tell her how I found you in the attic with the family album. She’ll remember you, Tarrdic. Then I’ll ask if it would be alright if I gave a gift of you to the newborn child. That way, you won’t have to be alone ever again. Okay?”

                                                                    …

Kate lays her sweet baby in his crib three months later. She has named him “Ralph” after her great-great uncle. “See what your uncle Ralph has given you? It’s a teddy bear he owned as a little boy.” Elaine has cleaned Tarrdic up, conditioned his fur, and tied a new satin bow around his neck. Kate continues, “Isn’t he cute? And he looks so real! There’s a note, too."  She opens the folded paper and smiles. "Your uncle says you should love him very much because bears need much love. The remarkable thing about Tarrdic is that he’ll love you back. Your Uncle Ralph.”  She places Tarrdic in the crib beside the baby, turns on the monitor, and closes the door.

When Tarrdic hears the door click, he snuggles closer to the baby and kisses his soft velvet cheek. Purring contentedly, Tarrdic thinks, “I already love you, little Ralphie, and I always will.”