ADHD Arranges an Amazing Day

Jody was known for letting her friends down.

She had decided that she was going to return her library books on time for once. The night before she had set them on the floor in front of the door, so that when she opened the door they would fall on her feet. She tried hanging her bookbag on the handle, but she just walked out without them.

Well, today it worked. She put the books in her basket and started pedaling the few blocks to the library. It was a lovely spring day. The kind that makes you forget about how awful the weather can be. No clouds, full sun, but not hot. Plants are sprouting, and baby animals are being born or hatching or whatever it is they do.

That’s where the problem began.

Jody approached a pretty busy intersection for a neighborhood and spotted a baby bird smack in the middle. It was calling out for its parents as cars whizzed by. She hopped off her bike and let it fall in someone’s yard as she sprinted into the intersection and scooped it up. As she dashed back to the sidewalk, she felt a knife scrape across her skull. When she made it back to “safety,” she discovered her attacker was an angry mockingbird. Atticus Finch lied. Mockingbirds were ferocious and did much more than just make music for us to enjoy. At this point, both parents were dodging and swooping and slashing her head.

“I’m saving your child, you heathens,” Jody yelled. She scanned the live oak branches that sprawled over the street until she spotted the nest that was almost directly above where the bird was found. She realized now, that the baby was fighting her too. Just a family of angry birds assaulting the hero. She traced the branch back to the tree it belonged to and placed the bird at its base. Once she backed all the way to the sidewalk, the parents ended their assault, but the baby continued to cry. She knew she did the right thing. If you can’t return the baby to the nest, you leave it nearby where the parents can still care for it. Unfortunately, a neighborhood tabby was very interested in all the crying.

“Crap,” she mumbled. As she started to move towards the cat to shoo it away, the parents began their tandem attack on the cat. Jody monitored the situation until the cat took off in the other direction.

Now, Alice was standing on the side of the road with thin ribbons of blood trickling down her head and the back of her neck. It didn’t hurt anymore, but the scalp bleeds a lot. She turned to head towards the shopping district because she knew there was a stationary store on the edge that was two blocks away.

“Oh my,” the clerk squealed when she walked in the store. “Do I need to call 911?”

“Oh no,” Jody replied and assured the clerk she was fine and regaled her with her heroic tale.

“Mockingbirds are mean fuckers,” she told Jody as she blotted her forehead with an alcohol wipe she found in the first aid kit. “We’re not supposed to let customers use the store’s restroom, but why don’t you head in there and clean yourself up. That’ll make it easier to find any cuts still bleeding.”

“Thank you,” Jody said, gratefully. “I really appreciate it.” Overall, she wasn’t in too bad of shape. It was the initial attack that scared her because she didn’t see it coming. Scalps bleed a lot, but they also heal quickly. Her cuts were scabbing up already.

“What a cute planner?” Jody told the clerk as she checked out. It had a tabby on the front similar to the one that just got scared off by the angry birds. She opened it to tomorrow’s date and wrote, Check on baby bird at the corner of Morningside and Sunset. Ever the lover of random trivial, she told the clerk that Evening Star the sequel to Terms of Endearment was filmed in the neighborhood then gave unasked for directions to the house.

Jody took a deep breath when she stepped out of the shop. The aroma of spices filled her nose and drew her into the spice and tea shop next door where she ordered an oolong.

“Thank you, this is delicious,” she said smiling at the woman who served her. That’s when she remembered her bike and books. She was in the opposite direction of the library, but it was still such a nice day, and she didn’t regret leaving her car at home. She probably wouldn’t have noticed the bird and probably would’ve been the one to squish it. She took her tea and meandered back to her bike. Thankfully, everything was there–including her keys and phone. Briefly, she debated heading back and picking up her car since she was now behind schedule, but it was such a lovely day she didn’t want to.

Deep in thought riding down the street, Jody was attacked for the second time that day as a guard dog came running out of someone’s garage and started chasing her. She hadn’t been going fast because she was admiring the charm of the old homes which gave the vicious beast a chance to scrape its teeth against her heel. Fortunately, the elegantly coiffed pekingese didn’t break the skin and returned home when she pedaled faster and turned down a street she never used before. It curved and looped in the wrong direction instead of following the grid of rectangles and squares most of the neighborhood had. When she passed the elementary school her friend’s kids went to, she knew she was off course and just headed back home since it was closer.

Now, with the windows down so she could still enjoy the spring air, she drove to the library. It wasn’t until she got there that she realized she had forgotten her books.

“Typical,” she muttered to herself.

“Jody, you forget your books again?” the friendly librarian asked bemusingly.

“I’ll be right back,” she vowed as she headed back to her car. She would get these books turned in on time. She remembered how determined she was when she saw the due date was the same as her birthday.”

“Oh, crap!” she yelled as she tightly gripped the steering wheel and let out a minor scream. That’s when she remembered the windows were down and noticed a little girl in the back seat in the car next to her staring. Her window was down too.

“It’s my birthday,” she said to the kindergartner-sized child.

“Happy birthday,” the little one replied. That cheered her up. Not that she was down. She pulled out her phone to find numerous missed calls mostly from her mom.

“Crap,” she said again as she called her mom.

“Jody, did you sleep in?” her mom asked.

“I am an adult,” she offered as an answer. It was just now 10:00 am, so it’s not like she slept her whole day away.

“Well, I was getting worried,” she told her. Jody decided not to mention the multiple assaults she encountered today even though she found them funny now.

“I bought myself a new planner, and treated myself to a nice oolong,” she offered instead.

“That’s nice,” she said dismissively. “I signed you up for 6 months of Noom for your birthday. You should have already received the email.”

“Mom, I’m not overweight! That’s very insulting,” Jody said, shocked. Her mom had a very slim frame and always compared her daughters’ figures to her own. Jody had always been an athlete and muscular. Not skinny and not fat. Her sisters suffered miserably with eating disorders. Today was not the day she wanted to repeat the importance of not fat-shaming to her.

“In my day, ladies took care of their figures and always left food on the plate,” her mom said.

“In my day, which today is, we mind our own business and don’t give inappropriate gifts,” Jody retorted.

“Well, I guess I’m just a monster,” her mother whined.

“Mom, if anyone should be guilt-tripped, it’s you. You didn’t even say happy birthday, Bye, Mom,” she heard her mom trying to talk as she hung up on her. She was glad to get her birthday call over and felt the dopamine rush of ticking one thing off her to-do list. At the light, an app on her phone alerted her that there were brunch specials at one of her favorite restaurants. She turned in that direction to pick up some avocado toast to go with her tea.

As she munched on her toast, she analyzed the logistics of going no contact with her mom while still maintaining a close relationship with her dad. Her sweet dad who would not want to see the wife he adores hurt. As usual, she admitted she couldn’t do it and went to buy a new drink since her oolong was long gone before you arrived at the shopping center.

There was a cute boutique next door, and Jody decided to buy herself a birthday outfit since the gift from her mom was such a flop. She ended up spending two hours walking around the center and trying on clothes. When she found just the right outfit, she asked to change into it and wear it out of the store. Now, she just needed new shoes but hadn’t seen anything in the area she liked. There was a shoe store she adored that was a 40-minute drive across town. She decided if that’s what she wanted to do on her day off, she should just do it. As usual, the Houston traffic was crazy and took closer to an hour to get there.

Later, Jody munched on a sandwich in a little bistro with her new outfit and shoes on when she remembered the library books. She sighed. She had been debating about heading down to Galveston and dining on the boardwalk but knew it just wasn’t in the cards for today. At the table next to her, three friends were discussing a movie she had been looking forward to seeing.

“Have y’all seen it yet? I want an honest review,” she said butting in to their conversation.

It turned out they were killing time before the next viewing and they invited her to come along. They were the only people in the theater and sat together sharing snacks.

“We want to take you out for dinner?” said Carla, one of her new friends.

“Crap,” she said. She had forgotten she had to meet friends for dinner that evening. Then she remembered the library books.

“Crap,” she repeated. She was able to finagle it to get her three new friends added to the reservation as she headed home to get her books. Just then, her phone rang.

“Hi, Dad,” she answered.

“Happy birthday, Sweetheart,” he responded. “Can you stop by the house?” Her heart lifted when she saw the caller ID, and then sank at the request. She’d have to see Mom.

“Sure,” she replied. “If it’s super quick. I have dinner plans with my friends.”

Well, the visit was a disaster. Her sisters were there with their partners and had been told it was a birthday dinner for Jody. When Jody explained that she had plans and couldn’t stay, her mom exploded.

“Jody, they are just stupid books,” she exclaimed. “You can return them later.”

“Mom,” she said threw gritted teeth trying to remain calm, “The point I articulated to you is that I set a goal for myself to return this set of books in on time. I’m going to achieve my goal. My friends made plans WITH me a couple of months ago. It would be rude and inconsiderate to blow them off, plus, I don’t want to. I helped make the plans.”

“Jody, I taught you that family comes first,” her mom insisted.

“You taught me social graces and etiquette, and now expect me to disregard them because it suits you. I’m not going to,” she said to her mom.

“I’m sorry everyone,” she said to the rest of her family. “Mom really should have checked in with me before misleading you into thinking I had agreed to this.” They all understood. Her dad even explained that he warned everyone this would be the exact situation that was happening now. He handed her a card, gave her a hug, and sent her on the way as the rest of the family began dinner. She teared up a little because her dad was so sweet and put up with a lot. But he loved his wife fiercely despite all her flaws.

Flustered, Jody drove home fuming about her mom’s audacity. She hadn’t missed seeing the “dinner” that was set on the table. It consisted of lightly steamed vegetables and an undressed salad. Her poor sisters. Her poor dad!

A long, hot shower did a lot to rejuvenate her and raise her spirits again. She decided to ride her bike to the library after all to return the books. She’d still have time to return home and freshen up before leaving again. As she approached baby bird intersection, she was disappointed to not see the baby bird by the base of the tree. She got off her bike to investigate. As she took her first step in the yard, she felt a scratch along her skull. The parents were still there protecting something. Then she found the baby bird nestled a few feet away under some shrubs. It seemed a safer choice. This time blood ran straight in her right eye. She wiped it away as best she could but didn’t feel safe riding her bike, so she walked it.

Jody attracted a lot of attention as the people getting off work were heading home and noticing the bloody woman walking her bike through the neighborhood.

“Jody,” a man yelled from his car. “Were you in an accident? Are you okay?” It was her work bestie, Mike. He loaded her up in his truck and drove her home. He found her mockingbird attack stories amusing.

“I was in a similar situation once with blue jays,” he shared. “They are vicious.” She invited him to dinner, and he offered to drop off the books for her, but she declined.

‘

“I need to do this myself,” she explained. After cleaning herself up, she drove straight to the library with her books and successfully turned them in. She was proud of herself and returned home to celebrate. Jody had a bottle of wine she had been saving for her birthday and opened it to let it breathe, Her bosses were French and she often noted what they drank and bought the same things. As a result, she was known for her taste in wine. Next thing she knew, that bottle was empty, and she wanted more. She didn’t want to take any chances so she caught the bus at the stop a few blocks from her house and headed to the liquor store that carried the wines her bosses liked.

“You took the bus?” Katie, her best friend, exclaimed as she disembarked. “I guess that means you’re ready to drink.” Inadvertently, Jody had arrived on time to her birthday party. The bus stop was serendipitously in front of the bus stop she needed to get to the store.

“Actually,” she admitted. “I just drank a bottle of wine by myself.”

“Amazing pregaming,” Katie responded. “Let’s go.” Jody had a great time with her friends, old and new, and work bestie. They headed to a pub after dinner and carried on merrymaking until almost midnight.

“Wait,” Jody hollered at her Uber driver after stepping out, “I need to take my library books to the library a few blocks away before midnight.”

“Hop in,” he said.

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” she told him when he returned her home the second time. “Today has been the best day.”