Why does it have unicorns on it?

Dear stupid piece of paper that is supposed to reveal my inner psyche and make my life better.

I didn't even want to do this, why the heck does anyone want to hear my inner thoughts, maybe the judge at my trial will have a laugh with me, before he sentances me to murder of my work colleagues. 

What the heck is with the unicorns, when they were picking this for me, was there not one that wasnt plain. Typical Bev at work suggesting the ridiculous and Ty going with it, She very convincingly demonstrated that the key to a better team and then better sales was to get to know one another better, using a diary to get to the deeper levels revealing our strengths and weaknesses. And using it for the teams benefits.

According to the internet the way to journal is to use our feelings to let the words speak. If these pages are littered with swearing by the end of the day, it will be a good indication of my feelings for this assignment. 

Ok take this seriously, the week started as per usual , bypassing the drunk in the gutter ,realizing i left my lunch at home again, it's not like i want to spend my money on cafe food,im just forgetful sometimes. Driving behind the tourists gawking at the big shopping centre, hunting for a parking spot that wont gift me with a ,sorry i ran into you note.(hint for the note leavers smiley faces dont make it better.)

Down past the fashion world where the mannequins seem to look at me with reproach over my choice of clothing yet another time,( its called vintage) i yell at them in my head. 10 more steps till the safety of the book department , where i reign supreme, most of the staff say behind my back that no one else wanted to because its not cool, or expensive revenue. But at least people dont wrinkle their noses when i walk past jenny.

The meeting brought the usual pep talk about the company and the reminder to treat everyone like royalty.(note that is our accounts department giving this speech) the meeting looked like it was drawing to a close and we could all hide in our departments, when i was assaulted by the unicorns.

So here we are sparkly unicorns writing our thoughts and hopes for ourselves, or in my case drawing the person on the counter across from me in a way that was neither great or true but with very creative flair,(i swear trudy does have horns under the mountain of hair, with a nod to the 80's.

I am finding myself more interested in the people around me , maybe i can write a soap opera about my colleagues and change the names for licensing purposes. 

Maybe a sitcom revolving around the fact that most people have a crush on some of the others and weirdly stare across the lunch table, or that rod and steph are having so called business meetings every Thursday night, while her hubby plays chess at the local club.

This is probably not revealing anything about me, besides the fact that i think people should try and be less obvious, oh god here comes bev with a pink piece of paper, great its got handy notes about how i should be more polished and a list of stores that we are encouraged to shop at for work attire.

If there werent people watching aka my boss, i would say something about her ideas where to put them and school her on my rights to express myself the way i see fit, as long as its within company guidelines.

Dear piece of paper number 4 just keeping you updated the last three pages met their doom to inappropriate words about my co workers,and drawings. The unicorns on the outside would have been mortified if they could read what im writing on the pages inside.

But here is the catch i found the unicorns twin and wrote pleasant and helpful thoughts in that diary, with touches of motivation and tips to improve the team. Not that it will be appreciated by the team. So this journal is for my future therapist. It has my thoughts on my employment, colleagues, the different ways to explain to someone what an actual book is. And my daily struggle not to yell at rod and steph, that everyone knows about the so called business meetings.

Dear page number 9 , about the struggle not to yell, the devil on my shoulder won and i learnt everyone in my company is great at pretending to be shocked,while coming up to me later and saying congratulations on finally saying what they were all thinking.

If only they knew what i was thinking about them, but only these pen and pages know, for now anyway.

Ok so maybe this was a good thing, do you know why, because that was a month ago ,and im still here on this planet. But it did make me realize that instead of doing my own thing,i just copied and pasted someone elses thoughts.

Note this still will never be seen by anyone but my future therapist, definitely not by my future mother in law who i have already decided will not make fun of cooking or fashion sense, but will be respectful in our home, when i get the time to date that is.

But for now i do have a date with a man, spolier alert he is in his sixties and is the owner of the bookstore i have loved since childhood, god i hope this goes well, can you pray and get everything you need in life, if anything im hoping the stupid question quota will decrease and i have some enlightened interests in something other than harry potters latest adventures

Dear page 20, you are privileged and so are the pages after you. For from now on my job (yes i got the job at the bookstore) my life (annoying colleague fairly free) and my outlook is as sparkly and happy as the unicorns on the front. Well maybe not as faded and without the stupid grin. (Maybe just a little grin)