I never wanted to go back

Submitted into Contest #28 in response to: Write about a date that was so terrible you’ll never forget it.... view prompt


Creative Nonfiction

I Never Wanted To Go Back

By: Millie Thum

I was in my bedroom getting ready for the biggest date of my life. He was going to be my new husband; I was sure he would propose. He was taking me to a fancy restaurant: they serve caviar.  I was so excited. After dinner we were going to go out on Times Square. I have never seen Times Square. I have always been too scared to go, you know, being a southern girl and all. I have never seen such a big place. I was ready for the best night of our lives. We would remember this day forever. 

It is 6:45, he was supposed to be here at 6:30. I got super worried. I got a text, “I will be right there, I am running a bit late.” My worry slowly died down. Thirteen minutes after that I heard a knock on the door. Knock...Knock...Knock. My heart filled with happiness. I ran to the door as fast as I could. As soon as I reached the door, I stopped. I calmed down for a second; I don't want him to think I am desperate. 

I opened the door. “You're not Kyle!” I shouted. There was a police officer standing outside my door. He said in a very sad tone, “I'm very sorry ma`am. He was in a fatal car accident. We saw on his phone that you were the last person he texted, so we tracked the number here.” 

I fell to my knees, my hand gradually sliding over my face. My tears fell from my eyes as if they were weights. The officer invited himself into my apartment, helping me off the ground and onto the couch in the living room.  I asked him if he was sure. “Yes,” he said, struggling to stay strong. 

“How could he have died? He was supposed to propose tonight!” I exclaimed. 

“Miss, I`m sorry for your loss, but I am going to need you to answer a few questions.”

 I nodded my head as I wiped the tears from my face. “Does Kyle have any family that you know of?” 

I shook my head no. “ He only had me, he was so young!” I started crying again. 

“Do you know what happened to his family?” he asked. 

“He is an only child and his parents died in a lab mishap: they were scientists,” I said holding back tears. 

“Do you know of any….” He paused.

 “Any what?” I replied.

 “Any people who may have…had it out for Kyle?” He asked with concern. 

“No! Of course not! At least that I know of! Why is this even relevant? It was a car accident. What happened?” I yelled. The officer took a deep breath.

 “Ma`am, someone cut the breaks; we believe this was no accident. It was a homicide.” 

 “What!” I yelled. How could anyone do this to him? I thought to myself. The police officer sat down next to me, he put his hand on my back. He felt comforting. I looked at his eyes, they sparkled like the sun off of the ocean. I didn't think I could ever feel that way again. The way Kyle made me feel. 

He started talking again, all I could hear was the sound of his breath over mine. How our heart beat started to sync. This was true love. I thought to myself, how could I have ever loved anyone else? 

I asked him if he had ever loved anyone. I was hoping he could tell what I was hinting at. I couldn't just come out and say it: Will you love me? Yeah, that sounds desperate. How long is long enough after a person dies to date another person? 

He told me that he had had a wife and how he was a widower: she died from a gang attack. That was why he became a police officer. I looked directly at his eyes and said, “Do you want to talk over coffee?” He looked confused, like he needed to take a minute, like no one has ever asked him that before. 

“Your fiance just died and now you want to go out for coffee?” he said. 

“He was just my boyfriend, but now he is dead and we can maybe do stuff together.” I said hoping he would say yes. He grabbed his coat. For a minute I thought he was just going to leave. “Let’s go,” he said. 

We got in the car. He drove us to the nearest coffee shop. He stopped the car. He got out, then ran around to come open the door for me. I told him that I could do it myself, but he insisted. I told him to head in and order me a vanilla latte. As soon as the door closed I ran behind the building. I pulled out my phone. 

“It’s done.” I said, ``I have our next sacrifice here, too.” “

Wow, we should have hired you a long time ago!” my boss said, sounding happy. I hung up. 

I ran back around the building and stopped right before I got to the door. I had to make it look like I just forgot my coat in his car or something. I walked in. The cafe was quiet. It was only the officer, me, and the counter attendant. I asked him if he had his gun and taser. He told me that he put them in his car safe because he didn't want to scare me. I told him he could scare me if he wanted to. 

Then the door creaked open from the back room. I looked over, the counter attendent was still standing there looking confused. I looked at the hallway, then at the officer. I asked him his name. Then I glanced over and saw my boss peering around the corner. We sat down and “got to know” each other. He told me his name Rego. He has been a police officer for over 20 years. I was curious when he became widowed because it seemed like it was a while ago. After the cup of coffee he told me he had to ask me more questions. “Of course,” I replied with a little perk in my voice. He asked me about where we were going tonight and how we met. He let me know that this was all being recorded, but he forgot to tell me when we first met. 

I got scared. What if he heard my conversation? I looked over at my boss. He nodded his head with a smirk. I don`t know if I wanted reassurance or if I just wanted to know if I should still proceed with the plan. I went on.

When he was done with his questions we got up, and he said he would take me home. I pulled out my knife behind my back. I gave him a hug and got ready for the kill. I looked over to see if my boss was ready, but he wasn't there. I was really confused, until I felt a sharp pain in my back. I fell to the ground. I looked up and saw my boss standing there. He was looking at Rego with a smile. They high fived, and the boss said “Great job, Rego. Mom will be proud.”

 “Didn`t mom say she wanted her alive?” Rego said. My boss told him that it didn't matter, and they got the killer. All I could think was that I wasn't a killer, I was just following orders from them. This was all a set up. I could feel the blood coming from my mouth. The pain was slowly starting to fade. I knew I was dying. I was gone. 

The next thing I knew I woke up in the hospital. Rego was standing by my side, and he looked happy. “I thought I died” I said. “That would be murder.” Rego looked concerned. “We aren't you,” he said with a cuckle. 

“What do you mean? I was following orders from your brother.” 

“Your “boyfriend” isn`t dead, and all those crocodile tears, don`t work on us.” I wasn't faking it, I was really crying. I didn't understand why they were doing this. I wanted to die right then and there. I wanted my breathing tube to get a hole and fail. Of maybe start pumping carbon monoxide into my lungs; that should kill me. And then it happened. I heard the monitor have a single sound, a long high pitched squeal. Rego calling for a doctor. Then everything went black. I could remember how I felt with him by my side, and seeing his chest move up and down as if it was attached to a string. Nothing could save me, and I never wanted to go back there.

February 12, 2020 17:34

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