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Fiction Funny High School

You know when you know you need to do something but procrastinate it because you don’t want to do it? So, you keep not doing it until the time has come where it's not a need but a must or else all hell breaks loose? And even though you still don’t want to do it, you force yourself to get up from your couch even though you just found your sweet spot?

Today....wait for the drumroll...

 I decided to clean up the apartment-throw away old stuff, organize the remaining material, rearrange some of the furniture. What? Were you expecting something cool?

Welcome to adulthood.

  My mom was going to be extremely proud of me.

After some toast, a quick run to Starbucks for much needed caffeine, and a messy bun later, I cracked my knuckles and dove in.

A button?Ohhhhh. Oh my God! Princess Leia's other eye!

Oh, that's where I kept the bracelet! In a book because I forgot where the bookmark was.

The red dress that my sister had been accusing me of stealing for the past 3 years. Guilty as charged.

What was I even thinking when I bought this painting?

Why do I still have the key to Derek's place? What an asshole!

Aww, look how cute I look as a baby!

I found ten nickels, five pennies, several dust bunnies and ...a bookmark hidden inside the couch.

The first thought that came to my mind when I started cleaning up was that I probably should have had started smaller.

While I was reorganizing my book shelf, I finally reunited my book with the long lost bookmark.

It was a battered version of Pride and Prejudice. The front cover was still intact but the pages were a nasty shade of yellow-brown like an overripe banana.

We had a project on it during high school. I got Freddie Reddfield as my partner. I spent most of my time flirting and making out with him in my Mom's old mustang. I sighed as I flipped the pages one by one, breathing in the memories within.

But as I recalled, I took this book from the library.

Why was it with me?

I turned to the back of the book and a white sticker at the end of the cover caught my eye.

Property of Lindbrook High School Library

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I closed my mouth with my hand, surprised at the sudden realization.

I never returned the book.

I hastily turned to the first page.

And it was overdue for over 7 years.

---×---

I twirled the book in my hand contemplating on what I needed to do with it.

Should I return it?

Was I seriously thinking of traveling all the way back to the my old high school to return an overdue book?

I shook my head, smiling at myself at the crazy thought. That was just absurd.

I put the book back into the shelf and returned to my work.

I tried to forget about it. I absorbed myself in work for the next couple of days so that I wouldn't have to deal with it. But the book just stood there in the bookshelf taunting me to pick it up and look at it.

A couple of days later....in the night....

I was back in my high school library. I knew every corner of this place, better than my own home. It was where I spent all of my time-in between classes, before school, after school. It was my safe haven.

The numerous number of shelves overwhelmed me. The romantic novels were calling to me so I brushed past them, tingling inside as I read the covers.

Before and After

Fifty shades of friends

My woman

Yikes.

“ You're late,” A voice boomed from the counter. I turned my head to the sound to find Mrs. Ruth, the librarian. Now, Mrs. Ruth and I didn't have the greatest relationship. She always hated me. Apparently, I made too many noises while reading a book. I mean, honestly, who doesn’t cry when your favourite character dies?

I tentatively approached Mrs. Ruth and put on a huge smile.

“ Hi! Mrs. Ruth! It’s been a long time!”

“ You're late,” She repeated again, with the same deathly look she carried since I was in high school that earned her the nickname ‘Mrs. Ruthless.’

“ I am afraid I don't understand,” I laughed nervously hoping to diffuse the tension beginning to grow between us.

“ Late for what?”

“ Do you know how long I've been waiting for the book? I had to catalogue every single book in this library over three times because I couldn’t find a copy of ‘Pride of Prejudice’.”

Her voice was dangerously low.

“ Whaaaat? Of course I returned my book! I gave it back on my last day of high school, remember?”

The death stare continued.

“ You didn't. And do you know what happens when someone doesn't return their book?”

She pulled open her front drawer and pulled out a knife.

“ Woah. Woah. Woah! Mrs. Ruth!”

I began to make a run for it. The last time I looked back, her mouth was open in an evil grin and blood was dripping from her pointy teeth.

I quickly woke up, covered in a pool of sweat.

I had to return the book.

My heart was pacing fast as I reached for my phone on the night stand.

“ Hello?”

“ I need you to ask your friend and find me the next flight available to San Francisco.” I said. My eyes widened once I saw that my hands were shaking.

“ It's......3 am in the morning! What the actual heck?” Milo's voice was so calm and soothing that it was hypnotizing me to sleep.

“ I. Need. A. Flight. Now!”

“ Are you drunk?”

“ No.”

“ Are you high?”

“ No,” I scoffed.

“ Is this like a Derek thing?”

“ Ughh. Absolutely not.”

“ Then, put the phone down and go back to sleep!”

“ Milo,please?”

---×---

After some coaxing, Milo finally gave in.

The next thing I knew, I was on a plane.

The guy that sat beside me slept through the entire flight. It was only when a flight attendant announced that we were landing did he wake up.

“ What takes you to San Jose this early in the morning?” He gave me a sleepy smile.

We were going to San Francisco But I guess he was too sleepy to remember.

“ I am returning an overdue book.”

He shrugged.

“ That makes sense.”

It was after we landed, that I realized that I was actually in San Jose.

“ Milo! What the hell?”

“ Can't a guy just get some DAMN SLEEP?”

“ I said San Francisco not San..Hello? Hello! Milo!”

He hung up on me.

Luckily I was able to find a bus to San Francisco. I stared at my book.

I am going to return you in no time.

Halfway through the ride, the bus broke down.

It just wasn't my lucky day.

The driver forced all the passengers out of the bus and said that it would take a couple of hours to fix. I didn’t have that kind of time in me.

So, I decided to walk hoping that I would be able to find a gas station and hitch a ride to my high school.

Unfortunately, the bus broke down in the middle of nowhere so I had trudge several miles in the hot scorching morning sun in nothing but heels. It was a journey of a lifetime.

Finally, I reached a shabby looking pub. My instincts told me to keep walking but my legs were screaming the opposite.

I was sweating in places I didn’t want to sweat in. One of my heels broke so I had limp my way through the pub. And all I had on me was a book and my house keys and my phone.

As soon as I stepped in, every eye turned to me for a quick second and then went back to their business.

A couple of hours later......

“ Marty, just fold. You know Grey and I are going to win this round!”

Marty threw me a glare and then slammed his cards on the table.

“ Gaaah! How is it that you're winning every game?”

Grey and I high fived.

“ A magician never reveals her secrets.”

I ended up making friends with some bikers. They had this tough exterior going on but they were all big softies at heart.

They offered me a ride to Sacramento as it was along the way.

A bike ride and a ola cab later, I arrived at my school.

Lindbrook High School

was emblazoned in big letters at the entrance.

The moon was shining bright in the sky as I made my way to the front gate where I saw a security guard dozing off.

I hadn’t thought of what I was going to do if the school was closed.

Then, a brilliant thought occurred. Why don't I break into the library and put the book back in it's place? Then, no one will ever know.

I know. I know.

It seemed like a solid plan at that time.

Luckily, I knew a secret entrance to the school from the parking lot. I always kept a rock near the gate to keep it open so I could escape in and out of the school every time I didn't feel like attending class. When I went there, the rock was still in place. I guess this generation needed a getaway from high school too sometimes.

I slipped through the gate and wandered the corridors, the memories swirling inside my head. I finally steered myself in front of the library. I tugged on the handle.

Of course, it was locked.

I peered into the library through the glass walls. The nightmare was still fresh and vivid in my mind. I plucked a bobby pin from my hair and was about to insert it into the lock when...

“ Freeze!”

---×---

“ I swear! All I wanted to do was return the library book!” I yelled for over the umpteenth time as I gripped the bars.

There was a musty smell arising from a corner of the cell and a dried dark red substance splattered on the wall. I really hoped it wasn’t what I thought it was.

“ Is it a code for something? Drugs for something?” The police officer who stood in front of my cell asked while examining the book. There was another officer at the table typing away on a computer.

“ Or are the codes for drugs cleverly written in the book?”

“ No. Absolutely not! Officer, I am telling the truth!”

“ You look too old to be in high school,” He said with his hands on his hips, staring at me like I was a specimen.

Pervert.

“ I just wanted to return the book, sir. To Mrs. Ruth, the librarian,” I stated as calmly as possible even though I was starting to get irritated.

Just then the officer at the table stood up.

“ Mrs. Ruth? As in Ruth Gable?” He approached me, a surprised look in his eye.

“ I don't know if that was her last name. But she worked as the librarian in Lindbrook High School when I was there.”

He bailed me out. Apparently, Ruth Gable was his grandmother.

He promised to take me to his house so that I could personally give to her.

“ So, you travelled all the way from Seattle just to return an overdue book?” Steve(I found out later when he introduced himself.)

“ Mrs. Ruth scares me,” I admitted, giving him an embarrassed smile.

“ That is true,” He chuckled.

He pulled into the driveway of a beautiful two storeyed house.

“ Granny? Look who I ran into today!” Steve called out, placing his coat on the hanger before walking in.

“ Come in. Come in! I am in the kitchen!” A frail voice answered.

We walked into the kitchen to find a women in her 60s who looked like an aged version of Mrs. Ruth slicing a tomato with....the same knife I saw in my nightmare.

Uh-oh.

“ Hey, I am going to freshen up. I will be right back,” He tapped me on the shoulder before heading upstairs.

I wanted to tell him to stay. I was feeling very uncomfortable.

“ I..uh..I don’t know if you remember me but...”

“ Oh, I remember you,” She interrupted giving me a sweet smile.

She then slowly walked towards me, the knife in her hand raised, ready to..

“ Hey, Sarah! You should definitely stay over for dinner!” Steve came down wearing a blue tshirt that hugged his body and very fitting jeans.

Mrs. Ruth quickly recovered and leaned into me for a hug.

“ Oh! It’s so wonderful to meet you!” Then she dropped into a whisper.

“ I will hunt you down and murder you.”

As I pulled out of the hug, I gave her a fearful look.

“ Uh, no thanks. I will be on my way now.”

“ You should stay! My granny makes a mean lasagna!”

Before I knew it, I was sitting across from Mrs. Ruth who was shooting me death stares while Steve was serving us in plates.

I excused myself to the bathroom and locked myself in it. I tried to climb through the window when the door suddenly opened to reveal Mrs. Ruth with a knife in her hand and blood dripping from her teeth.

“ Where do you think you are going? Did you think returning the book will help solve the problem?”

I let out a blood curling scream as she slowly approached me.

I woke up startled. My head was pounding against my skull as if something hit it. I pulled myself up. I saw a book lying on the ground. Curious, I picked it up. It was a copy of Pride and Prejudice.

I turned the book back.

The property of Lindbrook High School Library

“ GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

April 30, 2021 04:11

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