The bright colors at the end of the day

As a child, I never once thought that adulthood would be full of love and heartbreak.  But the past few years of adulthood have been full of the two and recently I had experienced the worst heartbreak of my life. Our love had started so quickly only to end just as fast, with just as much passion as there was in our relationship. Every waking moment had been spent together and now it felt as if there was a gaping hole in my chest. She was beautiful but complicated, kind of like poetry, complex and confusing but so enticing. Her bright waterfall eyes had captured my soul the second I saw her, and I guess a certain part of me will always belong to her. But being in the city where we fell in love hurt too much to stay, so I left. I had finally come home after moving out for college just 7 years ago, and it felt great to be back. 

All I wanted was to see my family but they didn’t accept certain life choices of mine, so instead, I got a hotel room hopefully just for the night. As I went for a late-night swim, I realized that my heart wasn’t hurt as much as my brain was confused. I had never understood why she left, we had been so into each other, had discussed being in each other’s futures, and she just walked into my house one night to say that it wasn’t going to work out. We hadn’t fought that night and even when we did we always made up one way or another. But I guess her mysteriousness was what had enamored me in the first place. She had never told me where she had come from or about her family, and not anything about her past. I have always been such a straightforward person that likes to figure things out and she was one puzzle I could never. Her love and caringness always made up for the fact that I didn’t really know about her past, and to be honest, I didn’t mind not knowing. I loved her for who she was now not who she had been. 

    Our love felt like it could conquer anything and nothing seemed to get in the way of us. We were fully committed to each other and I couldn’t help to think that maybe it had been too good to be true. Despite everything, I craved her touch again, the warmth of her hands on my back and her loving embrace. Our kiss felt like a million shooting stars were zooming through my mind and she made me feel invincible. I wanted her here to reassure me everything would be alright and we could get over this. But my rational mind told me she wasn’t coming back and I knew that to be true. If not for everything else I knew I could count on her word, she always kept it. And even if she did come back,  don’t know what I’d do. She was always like a sunset in my world of boring blue skies, and I missed it. And with that, I realized that there was a place that would mend my shattered heart and soul. 

    In the morning, after a night of blank dreams, I headed out to go to my favorite place as a child. My brother would take me there and tell me all about his conquests and accomplishments. I missed him, but being in the army had its tolls and he was paying his. As I drove up there, I remembered all that had happened between me and my past lover, all the good and bad. It took practically all day to get there but I knew all the driving would be worth it because the beauty of this place was far beyond what could be found in the rugged city. This was the only place I had ever felt like I truly belonged and that was an amazing thing all on its own. The love for my brother and the scenery was all combined when I went to this place and I hadn’t been there for 15 years and maybe more. I couldn’t wait to finally connect with my missing puzzle piece. 

    When I got there it was like nothing had changed, all the trees were still there framing the view as a picture, and the cliff where I had sat so many times was there beckoning me. I sat down right as the view changed. The beautiful colors lit up the sky, in a way that made fireworks look like a tiny match. Yellow, red and orange moved down to make room and blue with some purple shown just at the top.  The sun was saying goodbye and the night sky was emerging, with all its greatness. It felt as if the world was painting a picture just for me, and I was in on the secret that it would be back tomorrow. 

    To me, the colors always represented hard and stubborn days slowly making way for a new tomorrow and everything would be okay. The night was mysterious but yet gorgeous in every way, kind of like my girl. But somehow the night always conquered the day, and even though the sun was a bright, hot and rough thing, the moon in all its gentleness and beauty, seemed to calm it down. This persistence and constant repetition had always calmed me and it continued to this. Ths moment seemed to be the bandaid to my wound that felt incredibly painful just a few seconds earlier that was now okay.

    As a kid, I didn’t know the name for this beautiful picture and I called it the bright colors at the end of the day, but this sunset was the answer to all my questions and the love to mend all my wounds. At this moment everything was perfect and I was glad I had come back.