Drowning

Savannah had been sent to the principal’s office yet again. Her IEP allowed her to speak to the guidance counselor before anyone determined whether disciplinary action was necessary. She stormed through the door and slammed herself in the chair at the table outside the counselor’s offices.

Ms. P. was making me feel like shit about my math skills again so I flipped her off. She thought, but no one would believe that a teacher had acted that way, and even if they had, did that excuse her behavior? She placed her head on the table between her arms, flipped her hood up, and began to quietly sob.

Savannah didn’t want anyone to know she was crying because she feared they wouldn’t take her seriously. The teen was so filled with rage, sadness, and shame that she was frozen. Savannah could hear everyone around her talking, but she couldn’t gather the strength to respond.

“Are you okay?” Mr. Davis, the guidance counselor, wondered as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

Of course not, you twit. Everyone thinks I’m an idiot, and I don’t want to be in this miserable place.

“You need to come to my office,” Principal Booker demanded.

All I need is a fucking hug! She wanted to shout. Savannah knew that if she just had a chance to speak to her mother maybe she could calm down, but those demoralizing thoughts kept taking over.

What’s the point? You’re dumb. No one here cares about you. Don’t bother. Everyone around her kept talking, but none of it was sinking in. Help! She cried, but everyone just kept prodding her. They treated Savannah like she was being belligerent, but she wasn’t. She just felt worthless, and her body refused to respond to any commands beyond weeping.

“Call the police. If she won’t come to my office, we’ll have to have her escorted off campus,” declared the principal.

When the police arrived, Savannah was lost in the shroud of her mind more so than ever before. I’m drowning! Help! I don’t need the cops; I just want my mother.

“Either come into my office now or you will be forced to leave,” said the principal.

It took everything Savannah could spare to pull herself to her feet, and in a split second, “Fine!” She shouted just before her emotional whirlwind shot into her leg, which slammed her foot into the wall next to the principal before going into the office.

“I want her out of here, now!”

One of the officers tackled the frail fifteen-year-old to the ground and cuffed her so tightly one of her wrists was cut. Savannah wanted to cry until she had no more tears to shed, but she was numb. As she awaited her mother’s arrival, one of the officer’s cuffed the teen to the desk. “Can you take these off?”

“You gonna run?”

“And go where?”

The officer’s eyes narrowed. He nodded and released the young teen who shook life back into her wrists.

“Are you charging her?” A stern voice cut through Savannah like nails on a chalkboard and a warm hug at the same time.

“No ma’am.”

Mom, I’m so sorry. Ms. P. made me feel so badly about myself. I was just crying. I didn’t think they’d call the cops.

“Let’s go, Savannah.”

Her gaze was met with the cold eyes of a mother who hadn’t decided how she felt so the teen followed her mother to the car in silence.

Savannah took her backpack and climbed the stairs up to the apartment without a word and went straight to her room where she stayed until she smelled food. The teen cautiously emerged from her room as her stomach growled so loudly that it echoed in her ears.

“You’re spending your suspension with you father. He’ll understand this.”

Savannah’s father had been arrested his fair share of times. He was a pacifist who hated authority, and he lived about 80 miles away. She could feel tears gathering behind her eyes. Are you so angry at me that you don’t want me around? “Okay.” She whispered before adjourning to her room to pack.

Savannah grabbed her backpack and tossed in enough clothes for four days, her hairbrush, her handheld gaming system, and a sketchbook. She changed into her pajamas so she could sleep and lied awake in bed listening to the music of her stomach. She could tell she dozed off briefly because it was suddenly 11 o’clock. Mom is bound to be asleep by now. She thought before sneaking out to the kitchen. She rummaged through the refrigerator and found some chicken, but the risk of her mother hearing the microwave was too great. It’s not that her mother would take issue with Savannah eating, but she didn’t want to deal with her empty, frigid eyes so she inevitably just munched on various snacks before finally going into her bedroom and falling asleep.

The ride to her father’s was the longest, quietest hour and a half of her life. “I’ll pick you up Monday night. Don’t forget to do your homework so you can turn it in on Tuesday.”

“Okay.” I love you. “Bye.” Savannah listlessly replied before turning toward the ramshackle apartment building behind her where her father was waiting.

Not a word was spoken between the two until they were at apartment 3-B. “Your mother loves you, ya know?” He said as he opened the door.

“Yeah.” She said as she tossed her bags aside and plopped herself down on the dusty, brown couch.

“I made you some cake.” Her father said as he offered her a slice.

She took the plate and sniffed it. This is mint chocolate which is disgusting. “I’m not hungry.”

Savannah’s father popped Superman into the DVD player. She tried to ignore it, but she enjoyed watching Christopher Reeve’s performance. “So, what happened, kiddo?”

Savannah sighed. I was crying like a little bitch and no one gave a shit. “I’m honestly not sure.”

“Savannah, the cops once pulled me from my car and beat me to a pulp. You can tell me anything.”

She sighed, “they called the cops for no reason. Then they said I ‘resisted arrest.’”

Her father scoffed. “They always tack that on as an excuse to charge you with something else.” Savannah smiled for the first time since before math class. She spent the rest of her weekend playing video games, basketball, and avoiding her homework.

When she returned to school on Tuesday, she discovered that she was a hero to her classmates. Apparently, Ms. P was horrible to everyone, and Savannah was the first student brave enough to take action. The following year, she was gone.