Mommas secret

Mothers.

We all have a mother figure,whether she left when you were young or raised you to be the person you are today. Whether she lives across town or lives in the next room. Whether she died when you were young or lived to see your children.

Each one of us has a mother,the person who brought us into this world and history teaches us to honour our mothers for as long as we live. And I am no different. All that I am, or hope to be,I owe to my angel mother. My mother is my root, my foundation. She planted the seed that I base my life on, and that is the belief that the ability to achieve your dreams starts in your mind.

My time is now. Watford university here I come!

Four years of hard work and consistency finally paid off. I guess you could say that momma was right. As I stand in the garage I am reminded of the birthdays,whippings and endless good times we shared. I'm sure going to miss this place.

Momma asked me to clean out the garage before I leave for my two day orientation. She says it's the last time I'll ever have to do it but for some reason I have my doubts.

The garage was so dusty I started sneezing as I examined where to begin cleaning. Perhaps I'll start with the corner that occupies the most space. I gently removed the old curtain we used to cover up all the boxes."So many memories" I thought to myself as I started reminiscing about my childhood,how I used to ride my gold and blue bike up the street and all the Christmas decorations throughout the years. Going through these items made me feel a special type of joy as I scanned through the family photos. One photo that definitely stood out was a picture of mom and Mr Omar,a family friend and the owner of our local grocery store. Curiosity made me turn it over only to find a shocking message.

"Happy anniversary my love" it read and the printed date was 12/06/1998.

"Mom and Mr Omar used to date?"

I asked myself before being interrupted by a call from the hallway.

"You doing okay in there?",asked mom.

I didn't reply because I could hear her approaching the garage.

"Hey mom,I didn't know you and Mr Omar used to date".

"Wait what?"

She seemed abit shocked as if it wasn't true.

"I found this picture amongst the others " I replied,it says "happy anniversary."

She grabbed the picture out of my hand and had a look at it,almost as if she needed proof that it actually happened.

"Oh uhh,it was a long time ago,nothing serious. I made you a small snack", she added, "I know you must be hungry."

I proceeded to the kitchen table where I nibbled on my cheese toast sandwich and sipped through my orange juice. Something about that picture seemed familiar until it hit me.

1998! The same year I was born. "Is that why mom was acting strange?"

"Could Mr Omar be my father?"

My thoughts started drifting beyond my control before I could gather them all over again. Maybe im just being silly. Why would mom keep him out of my life if he was my father? I finished the rest of my sandwich before heading back to the garage.

"Hey mom can I see that picture again?"

"Which picture baby?"

"The one of you and Mr Omar "

"Oh that picture,I threw it out with the rest of the garbage. Thought I'd help out a little."

"Wait why?"

"Too make your life easier dumby"

"No I mean why would you throw away the picture?"

"Well why would I keep it?,It's not like we dating or anything".

Her reasoning made sense but something about the way she spoke seemed off, almost as if she felt uncomfortable talking about the whole thing. I guess a mother isn't really gonna discuss her dating life with her son now is she.

After afew hours of cleaning and pilling I finally finished clearing out the garage. My back ached and my arms felt like I had been lifting weights for three consecutive hours. I was too tired to do anything so I decided to take a nap. I closed my eyes for a maximum of thirty minutes before the sweat sound of my ringtone went off. I woke up. The phone was still ringing. With a groan, I slid out of bed,feeling the soft warmth of the carpet on my feet as I leaned over to grab my phone. "What is the point of wireless devices if I have to get up anyway" I muttered before answering the phone. It was my friend jacob who phoned to remind me that I was suppose to fetch his camera from Emily and pack it for our orientation. I hadn't even started packing yet. Jacob was always very proactive. I continued to lay in my bed,at least for afew minutes. My mind was still sleepy. Bladder full. I moved my jaw and felt my mouth was dry. Eventually I got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom.

"Hey baby,you mind going to the store for me real quick?"

"Be right there mom,I replied".

I threw on my black hoodie and left for the grocery store. It wasn't until halfway through the walk that I realised I was going to Mr Omars grocery store, the man who not long ago I thought could actually be my biological father.

I entered the store,grabbed the cornmeal and went straight to the register.

"How you doing today young man?"

"I'm doing alright and yourself?"

I could barely look him in his eyes,but when I finally did I caught a glimpse of the slight resemblance in our facial features. Something I hadn't noticed until now. Maybe me finding out about him and mom was making me overthink these instances, but one way or the other I needed an answer to this suspicion,and there was only one person I could ask.

I walked back home,placed the cornmeal on the counter before boldly asking "is Mr Omar my father?"

"What!"

"You and him were dating the same year I was born. I'm not mad at anybody I just really need to know."

"Okay look ,I know you curious about who your father is and that's fine,but you gotta trust me when I say everything I do is to protect you. And as for Mr Omar, yes we dated the same year you were born but he is not your father okay. Now more than ever I need you to trust me."

We stared at each other. Both our eyes started to tear up. She gently placed her hand on my cheek to wipe my eyes clean.

I stayed up for most of the night. It seemed crazy but Mr Omar felt like the closest thing I had to my father. I always wondered who he was but moms said she'll explain everything when the time was right. "What better time than now" I thought to myself. Either way I was onto something and I knew that if I kept pushing, one way or the other I would find the answers i was looking for.

The following day.

"Hey son,you ready to start packing?"

"Actually I was just about to go to Emily's house for the camera,that way I can pack everything at once."

Except that was a lie. Well not completely,I did go pass Emily's house for the camera but that was before going to someone else's house. I hated sneaking behind my mothers back but I felt like I had no choice. Even If Mr Omar isnt my father, he must know who is.

I rung the bell as I stood there nervously shitfing my weight from one foot to another. I had no idea what I was going to say but I knew that if I threw myself into the situation I would find the words.

"So,to what do I owe this pleasure?"

I took a huge sip of the coffee he had offered me before answering.

"I need your help sir."

Before I could even finish my sentence we were interrupted by a frightening knock on the door.

"Hey Ernest,I need your help,it's about..."

The lady barged in the house in clear panic, tried and talk to Mr Omar but got the shock of her life when she saw me. Yes! It's was my mother. Feeling overwhelmed I rushed out the house. In my head I already knew what this meant. After me leaving the house Mr Omar whispered "I think it's about time you told him the truth".

So later that night ,I received news that would change most people's lives forever. With tears in her eyes she grabbed my hands.

"I'm ready to tell you the truth,she said."

"Mr Omar is my dad right?"

"No. He's your uncle."

"Looking confused I asked"what do you mean he's my uncle?"

"I wanted to tell you this when you finished colleague but...Afew years ago,in a house not too far from here,there was a huge fire that claimed the lives of two people Michelle and Selwyn, your biological parents."

I felt a deep hole in my chest as she continued to speak.

Selwyn was Mr Omars brother,and fortunately you were by his house when the fire incident happened. Omar wasn't financially stable at the time so he couldn't legally adopt you and thats where I came in."

With tears in my eyes I asked, "Wait so is that why you and Mr Omar split up,because of me?"

"No baby ofcourse not, I don't want you blaming yourself for that, our relationship had run it's course and we ended things long before I adopted you."

"How did the fire start?"

"Nobody knows,a lady was walking pass and reported the incident. By the time the fire brigade arrived it was too late. The house had almost been burnt to ashes."

"I need to go finish packing" I replied as I rushed off into my room where I stayed for the entire night."

Twisting and turning,trying to fall asleep but I just couldn't. Feeling empty and feeling tired, have such a strong connection to one another that I knew i needed to fully rest before I can figure out what is what.

The following day was orientation day. It was a long forty five minute drive and we spent most of it riding in complete silence. We pulled up infront of the gate and she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"I know you probably mad at me for not telling you about..."

"Its okay mom I interrupted,your still my real mother. It doesn't change anything."

She cracked a smile as she wrapped her arms around me like a chain and whispered the words "I love you" in my ear.

"I love you too mom".

And just like that I was off. I took my first steps into a new world.