When ignorance is bliss

At times being ignorant is pure bliss. At times you feel blessed just for being ignorant. At times knowing the truth brings out nothing but chaos. I wondered how my life which had been so blissful and stable for the past thirty five years had suddenly become so chaotic, so disorderly. And stable was an understatement to describe my life. I was born and raised in a devoted Christian family. Love and order were the order of the day and I was blessed I never got to experience the chaos caused by death or divorce which I saw many of my peers experiencing. When my longtime girlfriend Patricia told me she was pregnant, I jumped with glee at the prospect of being a father, even though the pregnancy itself was not planned at all. Recalling the blissful life I had lead, I wanted the same for my child. So married we got though I was only 25 years old. For the past ten years life had been a haven before. Before all this chaos came through. 

"Sir, do sign these papers please. You are the father to Tyler right?" the young nurse asked. 

"Yes he's my son. How is he?"

"Well to be honest, he is in a bad state. Currently he is on life support but he has burst one of his kidneys he might just need organ transplant. Where is his mother by the way?"

"My wife she travelled. We were coming from dropping her off the airport when we had the accident. How could this happen to my son?" Markus sobbed. 

"Calm down, Sir. This is not your fault. Accidents are part of our lives. Now try to remain calm. I am sure Doctor Bruce is coming soon to update you of the procedure we are going to follow."

I sat down, with a heavy heart. My heart and conscience were striking me. How could I come out with just a few bruises but my son getting hurt so badly. And my darling wife Patricia, what will she say. What will she think of me now that I had failed in taking care of the son she entrusted me just this morning? And to think she had said, " Take care of my baby." How will I break this news to her? 

Suddenly as if my phone was hearing all the horror going on in my head, rang loudly. "Hello darling. I got your message. What's so important that you said I should call you. Is Tyler back to his old tricks? Tell him I will be back soon. "

"Hello Patricia my love, I have bad news. We got involved in an accident on our way from the airport. Tyler is badly hurt and as we speak he is on life support." I heard her gasp and I can swear she was crying.

 "Markus, Markus, I am on my way back. Let me try to catch a plane. Don't lose my baby."

"I am sorry honey, but yes do come back."

"Tyler's father."

"Yes that's me, any improvement?"

"As of now no! I believe we need to do the operation soon to replace his kidney as it's already infecting his other one. As his father, would you be willing to donate for him?" 

"Of course, of course. He's my son. I will do anything for him." 

"Fair enough, Nurse Julie will now take some blood samples before we kickstart the operation. The blood sample tests are there to check for any infections and to ascertain compatibility." 

It seemed like aeons of time passed as I waited for the results even though it was only a few minutes. I jumped on my feet when I sighted the doctor coming through, ruffling some papers in his hand. He seemed uneasy, scratching his head, that I feared the worst. Was my son dead?

"E-e-e Mr Matthews, we have just realised that we will have to look for another donor. I brought you this list to ruffle through pontential donors."

"Why, what's wrong with me. Do I have an infection?"

"Well to put it simply. Your blood is not compatible. "

"What do you mean doctor! What's wrong with my blood? My blood type wrong?" How can I not be compatible with my son? Doctor help me save my son. He's only ten!"

"Actually the tests we have conducted reveal he's not your son. You sure you did not adopt him? How are you acquainted with Tyler?"

"Doctor, how many times do I need to tell you! Tyler is my son! We had an accident on our way from the airport. What do you mean he's not my son!? This is no time to make jokes doctor!"

"I am seriously not joking. Biologically you are not connected in any way to Tyler Matthews."

"What!!!?"

"For the sake of time, I will not delve deeper into details just now. But maybe we try his mother. Where is she? Mr Matthews!!?"

I jumped up like one roused from sleep by a fierce thunderstorm. The doctor's words had shook me up and I could barely think, much less talk. 

"Mr Matthews, the child's mother, will she be arriving soon?"

"Oh yes, she will be here anytime from now. If she managed to catch her flight it will only take her an hour."

"Okay, hence we will wait for her. For now we have put young Tyler on dialysis."

I felt dejected, crushed and pained. How could Tyler not be my son? And Patricia, how could she do this to me?

"Honey, Markus! I am here. Where is Tyler? Where is our son?"

"Oh? Our son? Like seriously? When were you going to tell me!?"

"Tell you what Markus? This is no time for your pranks. Where is my baby?"

"Your baby is in the emergency room. He needs a kidney transplant. I wanted to donate but unfortunately our blood type is not compatible. I guess it's high time the child's father chirped in!"

Patricia froze and looked me in the eye. The look on her face and her shivering lips said it all. 

"Markus, Markus, I can explain. I am sorry but I can explain."

"Explain what? Get your filthy hands off me bitch. I am out of here. Go see "your" baby!"

I guess it was rude cutting her off like that but I will admit I was pained to have my fears realized. So this bitch had lied to me? I drove off in a reckless manner that I risked getting into another accident. 

Seated on my couch, back in the house I stopped to think. How had I got into such a state. How had my life become so chaotic. And Tyler? 

I had rushed off like a madman but thinking of Tyler again brought me to my senses. So what if he wasn't my son? It still hurt me to know he was in pain. Sheepishly I walked out to my car and drove back to the hospital. I came to find Patricia and the doctor in deep conversation. 

"Markus, I am so glad you are back," said Patricia, trying to hug me. I brushed her off. " I am here for Tyler not you. Any improvements Doctor?"

"Yes Mr Matthews, Tyler has greatly improved ever since we have put him on dialysis. We are realizing an organ transplant may not be necessary in this instance. You can actually go home, rest and pray he keeps improving through the night. Any new developments I will surely call you. For now I suggest you two go home and talk. Please!" 

Patricia walked slowly behind me all the way to the car park and stood waiting for me to open her car door like I usually did. 

"Why don't you catch a cab, I will meet you home."

"Markus, please, don't do this to me."

"Do what bitch?"

"Don't call me that Markus. Believe me I can explain. And to be honest I also did it for you."

"Did it for me!? Oh please, find another line. You tell me that lying to me for the past ten years was for me? It was in my best interests to lie to me??"

"Markus let's go home. Let's not do this here. Look people are starting. Let's go home. I will explain everything there."

We drove in silence all the way home. It's a wonder how I stayed in lane for my mind was definitely not on the road. 

As always after a long day she brewed me a cup of coffee. Just the way I like it. Not too strong. Not too weak. Just the perfect cup of coffee I always like and I couldn't help but smile at this beautiful lady I had fallen in love with twelve years ago. 

"Patricia, is Tyler my son?"

"No but I can explain."

"Then do explain. I believe I have some time."

"When we were dating, my friend Alshine introduced me to a certain man. He would take us out, give us a good time and lavish me with gifts. It was only after I had slept with him that I discovered he was married. I told him I was pregnant but he told me he didn't want any chaos in his life and instructed me to abort and then leave him alone. I could not imagine killing an innocent baby. That's when I came to you with the intention of informing you about my situation. When I said, "Markus I am pregnant," you did not give me the opportunity to finish off as you were already jumping with glee at the prospect of being a father. You did not even question me even though some weeks had elapsed since we last had sex. Seeing you so happy I reasoned, "if he is so happy not knowing the truth, then why burst his balloon. After all ignorance is bliss. You asked me to marry you and I said yes. Watching you so happy with Tyler I felt and was convinced I had made the right decision. Remember when we were trying to have a baby when Tyler was two. When I kept failing to get pregnant and the doctor asked for samples of your sperms. Remember the appointment you missed. The doctor explained to me that your sperm count was too low to enable fertilization. That you couldn't bear children. I feared telling you as it would mean explaining Tyler. And so i lied that my womb had no capacity of carrying another child and I was risking my life if we kept trying. And so we stopped. Believe me it was never my aim to deceive you. But I had no other way. And no where to go. Please do forgive me."

She was sobbing profusely by now. And I merely stared at her. 

"I am going to bed. Goodnight."

"Markus ain't you going to say something?"

"Say what? What exactly do you want me to say? Are you expecting me to kneel down and thank you for lying to me?"

"But Markus I had no choice. You gave me no choice. "

"Oh please stop it. You still want to keep on lying? How do you think I can ever, if ever trust you?"

"But Markus, why don't you look at both sides of the story. I have been loyal to you and I had your best interests too at heart. Wouldn't it crush you knowing you can't bear children?"

"I think it would have been better knowing the truth than being comforted by lies. I will use the guest suite. You can have the bedroom to yourself."

Patricia rushed to my side and hugged me from behind. Though I wanted to , I didn't brush her off. Infact I clung to her and drew her closer. The sound of her crying was tearing me apart. So what if she had lied. What of it that Tyler was not my son? Indeed at times ignorance is pure bliss. I wish I had remained ignorant but even now knowing the truth I could not erase my feelings just like that. I loved this woman and she would always be the mother of "my" child. 

Blood might be thicker than water, but water is the source of life. I turned around and faced her, brushed off her tears and kissed her full on the lips. 

"I know this was not easy for you. For telling me the truth even after so long I will forgive you. Blood ain't the only thing that should bond people. You will always be my wife and Tyler our son. Now let's kneel and pray he gets better."