First love

Lidia felt like was standing on ice and could slip at any moment, her legs were shaking and her hand clenched onto the side of the ladder. Her pale arm trembled as she slowly reached out her arm grabbing onto the apple and yanking it off. The apple was lighter than she expected, and Lidia was surprised when she found that 

Don’t look down, she told herself. Lidia could remember that a few years ago when Charlotte and her  had gone apple picking together and Charlotte had screamed “Don’t look down!” as Lidia climbed up the ladder.

The first thing she did was look down. It took her half an hour to climb down the ladder and she was in an absolute mess. Lidia threw up everywhere and felt queasy. Lidia had a terrible fear of heights.

Ironically, this memory made Lidia’s lips curl up into a smile, she could clearly remember Char tugging her hair back as Lidia bent forwards and a crowd forming around them. That was one of the few moments Lid could vividly remember Char showing concern for her. Charlotte’s lips trembled and her usual stone face was replaced with worry.

Lidia scanned around the area for more apples, and all she saw were bright dark green shades of leaves. She felt something poke in the back of her head, and she turned her head in an uncomfortable angle and a small branch swatted at her cheek. Lidia winced and noticed a hint of red to the left and turned towards that direction. 

There hung a bright red apple with tinges of light green on it, and it was hanging off of another branch. She extended her shaking arm, and she pulled the apple off of the twig and held both apples in her hands. I can’t do this, I’m going back down, she panicked, and quickly bent her right foot and extended her left, trying desperately to find something safe to rest her foot on.

Lidia quickly rushed down the ladder, almost tripping and clinging onto the sides of the ladder, her palms were damp with sweat and the back of her neck felt hot. 

Lidia finally jumped down the last three steps and sighed in relief when she felt the solid ground. “You good?” Lidia heard a voice from behind her.

Charlotte stood behind her, she had an apathetic look in her dark sandpaper eyes. Lidia nodded her head, not daring to look Char in the eyes.

“Mk,” Charlotte grunted and lifted out her hands, which were holding a big white plastic bag with five apples of all different sizes inside of them. Lidia let the apples roll down her arms and into the bag, and the two walked away to a different row in silence.

Lidia didn’t know what Char was thinking. It’s been a few months since Char ignored Lidia’s texts, calls, emails, letters, notes that she put in her locker, and now all of the sudden she invites Lidia to go apple picking. In the place where Lidia had confessed? In the place where they went on their first date? Is this her way of apologizing? Is she even apologizing? What is she thinking about? What is she trying to accomplish? Well, it must be something good if she invited me to go apple picking. Right?

Char always had a dead-pan expression on her face, and Lidia couldn’t tell if she was upset with her or what she was feeling at all. Was she angry? Why? Lidia couldn’t pinpoint the exact time when Char started to be cold to her. Things were going so smoothly.

Char hummed a tune and looked around the farm, the trees were about ten feet tall- they could probably grow taller, but they were limited to only ten feet. Lidia recoiled when she saw a mosquito fly her way in the corner of her eye, and swatted it on her hand. The farm reeked of the smell of mushed apples and grass. It smelled like horse dung.

Lidia remembered that she used to hate going apple picking. She hated the countryside and hated everything about it. The nasty smell, the long walks, the flies, the grassy fields. However, she’s grown fond of this orchid and all the memories she made with Charlotte.

Char whirled around and Lidia flinched from the sudden movement. She opened her mouth and said it straightforward “I’m breaking up with you.” 

Char’s eyes were stone cold and her short black hair stood still even as the wind blew. 

Lidia stood in disbelief, her feet were now glued to the ground, and tried to speak, but all that came out was a croak. In the back of her mind, Lidia was expecting it, Char had been acting really weird for this past month. But she still had a question.

“Why?” Lidia’s voice trembled, as she pinched her thighs, making sure that this was really happening, and wasn’t a dream.

“Uh, because… reasons. Like,” Char sighed and looked towards the ground. “You’re kind of, over the top. Like, texting every hour and always checking what I’m up to-”

“I’m showing you love, that’s what people in a relationship do.” Lidia defended herself.

“Checking through my phone shows a lack of trust,”

“I just want to see what you’re up to, it’s not like I don’t trust you.”

“You don’t let me hang out with friends.”

“What’s so wrong with being jealous?”

“You never apologize.”

“I’m never wrong.”

Charlotte gave Lidia a blank stare and looked like she was analyzing Lidia. It was as if she was looking at this new creature she had never seen before, observing what it would do next. Charlotte didn’t say another word, there was no use. A sudden thud of the apples hitting the ground, and the plastic bag crinkled as it fell. Char had simply let go of the bag and let it drop to the ground. She began to turn around and was about to walk away.

“You jerk, why did you bring me here if you wanted to break up with me!” Lidia screeched, and people around turned towards them. Char’s eyes widened and looked left and right, pressing her lips together and clenching her fist.

She hated when Lid would gather the attention of others to side with her. Such a child. “Well, I was going to give you a second chance and explain my feelings, since we first met here I thought that we could work things out. But I guess I was wrong,” Char replied, in her usual voice which made it hard for Lidia to hear her since her back was turned and she was walking away into the distance.

Lidia stood silently, trembling, and had hot tears in her eyes and her face grew warmer and warmer. She blocked her face with her arms and whimpered, the only person that actually cared about her didn’t seem to like her anymore. Char had liked her for her, even when she revealed her manipulative side, Char didn’t care. Char saw the good in Lidia, but when Lidia got possessive- Char had enough.

Lidia wasn’t manipulative, she knew it, no Char- Charlotte was the manipulative one. She blamed Lidia for being childish, but Charlotte started it. Lidia never apologized because Charlotte always expected her to say sorry- Lidia showed it with her affection by sending constant messages and gifts. She wasn’t clingy she was just being kind. 

Lidia hated the burning eyes of people around her watching- she brought this upon herself.

This orchid was where she met her first love, confessed, went on dates, and where she got her heart broken. How ironic.