Shooting Stars

“I’ve loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night” Galileo

Kathy had just seen her children and grandchildren off. They had come to visit for her 75th birthday. She was sitting on the back deck, looking up at the beautiful night sky. Reflecting on the day and life in general. Kathy had always been drawn to the stars and the feeling of how small she was in this vast universe. Rocking in her new chair she had been gifted , contemplating life. Her little sister comes to mind. Sometimes it’s all a blur, a lifetime ago, but it feels like yesterday.

Tammy is spinning and singing “ When you wish upon a star makes no difference who you are anything your heart desires will come to you”  That song from the Disney movies was always Tammy’s favorite song. She was always the dreamer. Sometimes it feels like they raised themselves. All the time they spent playing make believe in their rooms, and at times it felt like they lived outside. It seemed there wasn’t a day she can’t remember where they weren’t always outside. 

Running through the grass in their homemade dresses and pigtails. Playing with their batands and hula hoops. Making mud pies. Ring around the rosie. Swinging for hours. Rolling down the hill. Tag and hopscotch. Dancing in the rain. Making daisy necklaces and crowns. Catching lightning bugs. Chasing butterflies. Hide and seek. Oh the times they had when they were young.

Tammy pulled up a dandelion and said “ Sissy blow and make a wish” Kathy did as Tammy said, but knew wishes didn’t come true. Thank goodness, they had each other. At times it felt like they had no one else. It wasn’t easy growing up, she remembers never being hugged or being told I love you. It seemed their parents weren’t hardly in the picture looking back. Maybe that’s for the best. She’s done her share of reflecting on that part of her life and just wants to remember the good, not the bad and ugly.

One night they pitched their tent in the backyard. They were staring up at the glorious night sky when they saw a shooting star. Tammy shouted “ Look sissy, look we have to make a wish.”  They both did and Kathy said “ what did you wish for Tammy?” Tammy said “ you can’t tell your wish or it won’t come true” Kathy said “ how do you even know these things about wishes” Tammy said “ I just know you can wish on a star, especially a  shooting star, you can wish on a dandelion you just blew, you can wish on your birthday candles, you can throw a coin in a fountain and make a wish, and whoever breaks the bigger piece on the turkey wishbone gets their wish granted. You just have to be able to keep a secret and as long as you don’t tell anyone your wish, wishes can come true”

Kathy was always amazed by the things her little sister Tammy came up with and believed. She always played along with these childhood fantasies, because what else was there to do. Tammy and her had no one else to share their dreams and secrets with. If it weren’t for Tammy, Kathy would have never dreamt at all. A small part of her wanted to believe that wishes could come true, but she was always the realist. 

As time went by and they grew older, it seemed they grew further apart. Tammy was still wishing and daydreaming and Kathy had things to do. Kathy began to believe that wishes were for fools. Tammy thought Kathy had given up.

Years later Kathy had gotten married and her and her husband had been trying for two years to conceive. Kathy remembers the night she looked up and wished on a star that she could have a child, someone to love unconditionally, someone to hug. One month later she found out she was pregnant. While she knew it wasn’t the wish, she loved telling her first born son that. The story of how he was born. 

We had been trying to make you and it was taking a while. One night I wished on a star, please let me have a baby. Next thing I knew I could feel you kicking in my tummy, you had me eating banana peppers all the time with the cravings. I was in love with you before I even met you. I could actually see your foot rolling across my stomach. You decided you wanted to come early, I had to have a c-section, they had to cut you out of my belly. Your Dad was in scrubs and when the Doctor pulled you out you started peeing, the Doctor turned you around and said “ pee on your daddy.” they had to clean you and me up and all your aunts and uncles were there and your grandparents. Everyone was so happy to have a new baby in the family. When they placed you in my arms, I had this overwhelming rush of emotional joy and love. It was the best feeling I have ever experienced in my life, These words can’t even describe the feeling. I knew that day I would always show you love and do my best to take care of you always and forever.

Danny always begged me “ Mom please tell the story of when I was born” He was always hugging me and telling me he loved me. I had finally gotten someone to love and someone to love me.  It seemed a wish had come true. Thanks to Tammy I tried to impart on Danny and my youngest son Randy to make wishes, have dreams. Making myself and them see that wishes are beneficial, we need them to motivate us. Dreams can define what we want in life, what we want for the ones we love.

Looking back now I realize that even though Tammy was younger, I think she had it right all along. Wishes can come true, if you make them. It’s getting late and I am stifling a yawn. I rise from my rocking chair and reach for the stars and make a wish. No, I will not tell you what it is, it won’t come true dear reader.