Within Seconds

“All finished!” Valerie cheered, turning around to look at what she had accomplished. The sight in front of her may seem boring to others, but to her it was magnificent, a clean house that could accept the guests that would be coming tonight. Though it was nothing formal, it was still polite to have a clean area for the family. She internally cried at the fact that her sister's kids would probably mess it up again, with her 14 year old daughter Ashlynn. Valerie debated sitting her sweaty self onto the clean and beautiful couch, but decided against it.

“Now all we have to do is get Ashlynn to clean her room after she gets home from the store.” Ever since Ashlynn learned to walk, Valerie had insisted that she lived a healthy lifestyle, which proved harder than she thought. After all, Ashlynn had friends who always ate at restaurants, and she would feel left out. So, Valerie had decided that once every month, they would go to a restaurant or fast food place so that Ashlynn could tell her friends all about it. Although being a single mom could be very hard, Valerie almost never had a bad moment with her daughter. She had raised her to be confident and would praise her for her hard work instead of her grades. Sometimes, when Ashlynn was having a rough school life, Valerie would give her a piece of paper to write and sort through her problems, because when people are upset, their minds are like tangled knots. Being able to write down and sort through her problems, Ashlynn had become more individual and mature than other 14 year olds. After all, it was them against the world, Valerie and Ashlynn, the best mother daughter duo. Valerie grinned and stretched. Time to shower, since it would be on peak hour soon. Valerie stopped when her phone started ringing. Without even looking, Valerie picked up her phone and accepted the call.

“Hello, Valerie Taylor here.”

“Hello is this Ashlynn Taylor’s mother?” Valerie’s heart dropped, but she managed to stay calm.

“Yes, who is this?”

“Hello, my name is Kylie Stuttler and I work at Phoenix Children's Hospital. Your daughter, Ashlynn Taylor got hit by a car and is now in the ICU. Please come to get further details.” Valerie almost dropped her phone. No. There was no way that this was right. Her daughter was walking home with the groceries for the party, not lying in the ICU. Her throat was dry as she shakily answered.

“Yes, I will be there as fast as I can. Thank you.” It was a mix of walking in a daze and rushing as fast as she could. Before she knew it, she was in the hospital. The hospital, where Ashlynn once went to meet a sick friend.

“Maybe it’s just me but it smells like chicken nuggets and cleaning supplies. I would probably not be able to breathe working here, it’s weird.” Ashlynn said as her and Valerie walked out the door laughing. Valerie shook herself out of it. Now was not the time to be thinking of the past. Ashlynn needed her. 

“Hello, I’m here for Ashlynn Taylor. Can I know what room she is in? I’m her mother and I just heard what happened.”

“Do you have any ID to prove who you are?” It was annoying, but it made sense. Valerie scampered to grab her wallet. “Okay, Ashlynn is in Room 120 on the Second Floor. Here is your visitor's badge and have a nice day.” Valerie managed a quick thanks as she sped walked towards the elevator. She walked in place in anticipation as the elevator doors slowly closed, and the elevator shuttered and moved. Valerie bit her lip, anxiety creeping up on her like a predator to an easy catching prey. Ashlynn could be dead by now, for all she knew. Valerie shook her head and exhaled. She’ll enter and her Ashlynn will be sitting on the couch, giggling with her sick friend. Yes, that is exactly what would happen she wished. But Valerie knew it was wishful thinking. It turned into a mental chant: She’ll be okay. She’ll be okay. Valerie walked out of the elevator. Her hands were shaking. Keep it together. Inhale. Exhale. She’ll be okay. She’ll be okay. She’ll be- Valerie looked into the door to see doctors flooded around her daughter. Tears threatening to spill, her shaking hands reached for the handle. Though her hands were sweaty, her insides felt cold, as well as sick. But she had to do this. For Ashlynn. She pushed open the doors and for a split second, it went silent. 

“Uh, hi. I’m her, uh, mother.” Speech was now hard, with the fears and mental breakdowns that were threatening to come out. The doctors silently parted, as Valerie stepped forward. 

“Ma’am, I am sorry to tell you this, but in the accident… she hurt her spine badly and is now paralyzed waist down.” A nurse told her. Paralyzed. The word kept repeating in her head, echoing like a loud drum. The nurse showed her to a chair, and Valerie sat, looking the nurse in the eyes. Her lips were moving but she was not saying anything. Paralyzed.

“Hey you never know, I think I would be a great professional dancer! I would preform in musicals and stuff! I’ll get you front row tickets, okay mom?” Ashlynn laughed. But the laugh faded and Valerie had to return back to the world. So cold and terrible. The only light being Ashlynn, who would go to anyone in need. Her baby, who was now wrapped in bandages and paralyzed to the waist down. It could be worse, of course. But it also could have been better.

“Ma’am? Ma’am are you okay? Do you need anything? I understand that this is a lot to take.” How do people talk again? Valerie struggled to speak. But eventually, the words came out.

“Who did this?” The answer to these three simple words would never give her peace, but it would give her someone to blame. Someone that was not her, that is. The nurse bit her lip.

“I’m sorry, but the driver drove away.” Away. As in gone. As in there was no one she could blame. Except herself. The tears teetered over the edge. She saw her Ex-Husband leaving, walking out the door as she held a sobbing Ashlynn in her arms. When she promised Ashlynn that she would do whatever she could to make her daughter happy. But now there was nothing. Nothing she could do, no amount of money would change this. She grabbed Ashlynn’s hands and it all came out. The water for which was only used for laughter and understanding, was now being used for tears. And it was not pretty, or quiet. She sobbed and sobbed, being careful not to touch anywhere else on her daughter, so she did not feel any pain. Any physical pain that is. What if her daughter never mentally recovers? What if she loses everyone close to her? The only thing the nurse could do was pat her back and give her tissues. Finally, after what seemed like years, Valerie stopped and sniffed, wiping her face with her hand. Her baby Ashlynn, being forced to grow up so quickly. A few breaths in and out. She looked at her daughter again, and remembered what happened.

“But mom, we already have good snacks in the fridge and stuff!”

“Well, we will have even better snacks for tonight, now just take the short walk to the store and get some delicious snacks!”

“Ugh, fine. I’ll go. Just because I really want some chips.” 

“Thank you and be-”

“Careful, I know, I know.” If Valerie had not made her get those extra snacks, Ashlynn would be okay right now. It was supposed to be Ashlynn and Valerie against the world, not Valerie against the world. The tears threatened to spill again, and her head pounded because of her earlier crying. She managed to croak out words which came closest to all of the thoughts in her head. 

“I’m sorry Ashlynn. I’m so, so sorry.”