Returning to him

It had been ten long years since Jason had looked upon the peeling blue paint of the shed. Ten years since he opened the creaking door and instinctively jumped the broken step, breathing in the smell of dust and age. He closed his eyes, savoring this moment. This feeling of familiarity after so long away from home.

"Dang, it's been ages since we've been here!" Allie exclaimed as she slipped through the door behind Jason. "We haven't come here since..."

Jason stiffened, and she trailed off, silence hanging in the air. Jason knew what she had been about to say. They both knew that would bring up long-forgotten memories. Of crayons, markers, colored pencils, and paper. Of school projects and homework, of studying and talking. Of long night sleepovers and summer days.

And he didn't think either of them were ready for that.

But that didn't stop the memories.

"Come on, Jason! Allie's waiting for us at the river!! Bring the water guns!"

Jason turned on his heel and left, Allie following silently. Walking together, hearing the twigs and pine-cones snapping beneath their feet, they felt strangely peaceful. Soon, another sound joined the first, and Jason heard Allie's quiet whimper.

They had found the river.

It flowed past a lot calmer than it did that day, the sky blue and clear, but Jason still felt himself holding his breath.

The sky was gray and dark, the river lashing at their feet as they ran, laughing, down the bank. The shot the water guns at each other, moving to fill them by the shallow parts of the river. Hiding behind trees and bushes to camouflage themselves.

It happened so sudden.

At one moment he had been filling up his water gun, complaining about his soaked clothes, though his smile gave away his true feelings, when the river hit him head-on, and Jason watched as he was swept away, screaming, downstream. Jason and Allie ran forward, trying to grab him, but he had never been a good swimmer, and before Jason could grab the stick next to the bridge to reach for him, before Allie could call for help from the adults on the path, he hit his head on the bridge hard, knocking him out, and he was swept under.

The next time he came up, it was clear he had drowned.

He was dead.

"Nelson," Jason whispered brokenly, the first time he'd said his name since the incident. The first time he'd said anything at all since the incident.

And Allie heard her friend's voice, how guilty it sounded, how much self-hate was put into that one word, and she reached over and hugged him. It didn't matter now that he'd spoken, she could talk to him now that he'd broken his silence, and she could talk to him at any time that wasn't now. Now was a time of mourning, and a beginning for the both of them.

As they turned to leave the river, Jason looked back one last time, his face red with his tears, his heart more free then it had been in years.

"I'm sorry," He whispered to the wind, a smile lighting his face.

And on the wind, a whisper.

"I know."