REALIABLY STATIC

It was so uncomfortable just to be near him again after two short years. After all, I only owed him spite, while he owed me everything, but I still wanted nothing from him. That coldness would keep him from even trying to act like a father.

I just wanted him to know he was as relevant to me as my neighbor across the street. Besides, I was too emotionally high to dwell on spite because Killa Rush, the alpha male Rock-N-Hop star, with all of social and mainstream media around the world at his feet, had chosen me to be in his upcoming music video of “Needy and the Neatos”. And in the video I wouldn’t just be partying in the background of a poolside dinner party gone out of control because of the main character’s (Needy’s) mistake of pouring some of his secret potion in the fruit punch. I would be first plain mounted on Killa / Needy’s back while he tries to sing and rhyme, burning hot in my tiny red sorry excuse for lingerie.

 …I felt kind of bad for mom, though. She could tell how I was loathing being around him. And on this unusual occasion, she didn’t seem to approve of my attitude, almost as if she were starting to see that man who had abandoned us in a new light. So as the night went on, I focused more on the beautiful Laguna Beach scenarios and less on him, who had invited us on that weekend getaway, after all. It was my way of making it easier on her.

So, as the final Fourth-of-July fireworks faded into the nocturnal coastline, signaling the end of a good evening that would have been great in different company, I formally thanked him for the invitation, and the awkward march to our hotel rooms began.

Mom and I were walking a little faster than him, leaving him behind like he had done with us in life. It felt good; like justice, until mom went off script by slowing down, asking me to excuse her, and pacing back towards him to talk about something private… But there was more to her strange behavior. She asked me to excuse her again as they both went ahead of me and into his room. I was about to bang the door furiously, but chilled when they didn’t close the door. So I approached. They were standing in front of the queen-sized bed, almost whispering to each other from a prudent distance.  

-Holly, your d…, Derek and I have been talking. We think you two should talk alone, just a few minutes. Can you please give him a chance on this, for me? It’s something important.

-…Ok, this is weird, mom.

- I know it feels that way right now. But we can’t rest until you do this. Please, baby. Just come in for a few minutes…After all, he owes them to you, right?

I reluctantly took the ten-foot walk all the way to that chair he had pulled from under the table and set in front of the bed. When mom closed the door behind her, I thought I’d rather be at the dentist’s getting my teeth drilled into with no anesthesia.

…At first, he stared at me a few seconds with uncertainty, then got up without saying anything and took something out of one of the drawers in the closet. It came in a little red jewelry box. He sat down on the bed once again and put it at his side.

-Holly, first of all, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about everything that went down right up to now … I hope your mom and you let me approach a bit more in time, to find the right moments … Here right now; it doesn’t feel right, I know. That’s why I; we can’t get into that yet. Actually, I want to talk about something urgent now... First, congratulations for being chosen for the video. Your mom tells me how you just can’t get enough of that Killian guy.

-Killa; Killa Rush.

-Killa; right. Sorry.

-Well, what I need to talk to you about is sort of about that…

-What, Derek? I think you’re kinda late for the birds and the bees talk-

-Yeah, the birds and the bees. That’s right! Exactly what I want to get into, but a way more advanced version. Perhaps one you’re not that ready for, even at 19.

-Ok, I’m definitely out of here.

-No, no… Please. Please. Remember that even your mom feels you need to know this…. I’ll get to the point.

-…Ok, but let’s get a move on. I figured you’d be one to not waste more time.

-Sure... These celebrities. These people, when they can’t find anyone who doesn’t recognize them anymore, or can’t go anywhere without frantic crowds gathering around them, they slip into new realities. They develop a sense of entitlement; superiority. And often they feel they have more rights than common people. Then their entitlement makes them feel they can impose their wills upon others. After all, they get VIP police custody at just about any public event. They can order whatever they want anywhere any time... Narcissism just becomes a reflex. It must be overwhelming to be so young, just learning about the world, and suddenly have it at your feet. That’s understandable… But it can thin down the line between what’s considered right or wrong for them.

-Point being?

-That someone with so many advantages, luxuries and popularity can get too entitled to whatever he wants. Even if what he wants is a beautiful girl from one of his videos. He could think he can do anything and get away with it. After all, he’s the star.

-So you’re afraid he’s going to rape me.

-First of all, whatever you want to happen is up to you. You’re a big girl getting an idea of what you want. And if that’s on your mind, just go carefully, if you’d ever consider my advice… What I fear is that you may not like him as much as you get acquainted with him, but he might feel you won’t have a choice once you’re in his domains. Get it?

-Well, I’m definitely not going with you to the video shoot, if that’s what you’re thinking.

-No, no –slightly chuckling- …You’re a big girl, but you have so much to learn and experience about human nature. I just feel you need to take something that’s better to have and not need, than need and not have.

-A gun?!

- Not quite.

-Check these out. –as he opened the jewelry box -

-Fake nails? Really? So I can scratch him?

-Yes…Fake nails for scratching, and scratching hard…But you won’t find these at any beauty salon… Look…I apply them on my finger, just like any fake nail, right? I could last like this all night… But look what can happen if someone tries to smother me…I press down and back with my thumb, and the top layer comes off… Now, the main layer is exposed. See how its colors are clearer and brighter?... Careful. Look how sharp it is. –as he took out an old credit card from his right pocket, and slit it in half with the fake nail effortlessly-

-Wow!! Where the hell did you get that thing?... What’s that blue ink coming out of the card?

-Out of the nail, actually…Let’s just say it’s something no one who appreciates life would want in their bloodstream.

-Derek, what the hell do you do for a living, exactly?

-That’s actually another good question. We’ll talk about that soon enough if you want. It has a lot to do with how our family; well, the family we should have been, turned out.

-You know…Mom could’ve really used that with someone I know.

-But not being born would’ve been inconvenient for you, Holly. Someone else would’ve been chosen for the video.

-Speaking of which, thanks for the show and tell, but I’m not going to kill Killa Rush. I just love him! And did you know his dad wasn’t around for him either?... Have fun with those nails, Derek. Give them to someone who really needs them.

-Holly, please… Just please take them with you. Find a private place only you know about, and decide whether to take them with you or not, with the luxury of actually having them at hand… Nothing to lose.

-Yes, there is. They could fall into the wrong hands … No, I’ll be good. I know the kind of men I would be using them with, but I don’t plan on associating with any of them. So with that in mind, good night, Derek.

-Holly, look. Just take them. If you never want to see me again, ever, let this be the one thing you take from me. Come on! They’re pretty cool anyway.

She stopped and paused briefly as she was heading for the door. Something made her think twice. She turned around and returned.

-The only reason I’m taking them is because I don’t want my mom on my case. Besides, they are pretty cool. Thanks. Bye.

-One more thing. When you push the top layers out, it’s better if you’re calm and still, as if you were being “a good girl”. –as they both cringed-

It wasn’t just a video shoot. It was a party, and that’s what Killa Rush and the crew wanted everyone to feel and project on to the screen. It was hard work. We all got there before 3 p.m., and left at 12:17 a.m. It was grueling but awesome.

The dancers and the crews were just awesome to hang out with. The director; Frank Haig, and the actors’ coordinator Ben Calister were real charmers. They never wasted any opportunities to talk us up... But Killa; he was the party!!

…So when the time to wrap up drew near, we each got a little miniature envelope with our names on them from a lady in the production crew passing around quietly; some purple, some green. She told us all that they were personalized thank-you notes, and to keep them as secrets.

Mine read: “Thank you so much for making this a great video. You are invited to our wrap-up party in our chalet in La Hoya. Wait at the main gate to be picked up by our limo with purple explorer lights”.

Of course I was thrilled!! I was gonna party with Killa Rush!!…

-Now tell me this isn’t the most spectacular scene of the night.

That was the first thing Killa told me as he stood in front of me with the La Hoya coast and the giant living room window behind him. But he was a much better view!

…Yes, it all looked awesome… at first, but suddenly I couldn’t help tense up a bit when I noticed that it would be just be us four girls with the purple envelopes, Killa, Frank Haig, Ben Calister and one of Killa’s bodyguards. At first I thought we were waiting for more people to show up, but clearly it was just us.

I wasn’t comfortable with total strangers offering us liquored cocktails being minors either. Of course it wasn’t uncommon at private parties, but in that little surprise event with total strangers who had to start out being more responsible; it couldn’t feel right.

After about thirty minutes they gathered the courage to offer us little colorful pills. That was a red alert for me, but the other girls took their drinks and hits eagerly. Me; I limited my consumption to sips of my second margarita that was tasting weird.  

I wanted to tell them that I wanted to leave, but I was afraid of how they would react. That was when Killa made his move. He sat right next to me as his big dark blue eyes lit up with his awkward smile. He led me right into panic mode when he said: -Look, don’t you think we should get out of here; get some fresh air?

I tried to stay calm when I answered that I was good where I was, but there was no way he didn’t notice I was freaking out. For which he followed up saying:

-Relax. Let’s just step out, and we’re all good. Yeah?

-No, …I’m good

I started feeling a little numb, so I stopped drinking all together. That was when I noticed the other girls had passed out far too soon, and that Ben Calister sat next to Amy, one of us girls, embraced her and put his face next to hers. Her only reaction was of an uncomfortable faint grin.

Apparently, Killa wanted all my attention, so he put his face right in front of mine, at kissing distance. But instead of trying to kiss me, he said once again:

-Come on. Let’s just step out a minute.

I was about to start yelling when I noticed those big blue eyes starting to fade and then lose their light… He passed out right on my chest.

I breathed a little easier, but that comfort faded when I looked over to my left and noticed Ben Calister was already touching Amy inappropriately, and pulling down her white top. Then it got even worse when Killa’s bodyguard told Frank Haig that he had been right; that Killa would be too much of a whoosy, that spiking his water bottle had been right on.

That bodyguard noticed Helen, further to my left, wasn’t going to recover consciousness any time soon, so he started touching her inappropriately, and removing her clothes while taking photos. Becky was also unconscious on the couch in front of us, alone and vulnerable.

They seemed upset that I was still faintly conscious, so they smothered me some; smiling innocently at first. When I wouldn’t get submissive, Frank actually smacked me right across my jaw, hoping he would daze me up a little more, and avoid leaving marks on the more delicate nose and eyes. The bodyguard noticed it was getting violent, so he interrupted his perverted photo shoot to help Frank hold me down…

For the first time, I remembered Derek’s words: -It’s better that you’re calm and still.- So I acted as if I were actually enjoying it… My facial expression got complacent, and I lied back a bit. That relaxed them somewhat while still holding my waist and wrists tightly. Then I caressed Andre’s (THE BODYGUARD’S) hands with some affection while my thumbs pressed on my nails. But nothing was happening with my nails. I pressed down and back a little harder, but nothing. I started to panic, when suddenly one of the top layers came off. Then they all loosened gradually.

As Andre loosened up with my caresses for just a couple of seconds, I scratched him with my ring fingernail. He paused to look at how I had cut him, so I apologized and told him they were just filed sharp. He was very excited, so he mellowed down. That was when I put my hand on Frank’s leg as if caressing it. As he didn’t oppose much resistance, I sliced the top layer of his thigh gently, which made him jump up to check what had happened.

He asked me what the hell I was holding, and I just said my nails were filed really sharp. He freaked when he saw blood, but paused when he noticed Andre’s head was starting to collapse with drool at the mouth. Frank tried to close his fist, but just couldn’t. He tried to launch his arm to hit me with zero power. His faint thrust swung him unconscious on top of me and next to Andre.

Ben Calister got up and picked up a bottle lying on the coffee table in front of the couch, intent on breaking it on my head.

I had two men on top of me, and a Ben Calister ready to crack my head open. All I could do was get into a fetal position under Frank and Ben, when suddenly Killa Rush found his last burst of energy to launch himself at Ben.

Ben was still in better condition, for which he maneuvered himself on top of Killa. He was about to elbow the back of his head to knock him out when I got loose and launched myself on top of him and scratched his scalp…

Next thing I knew, there was daylight…The girls were still semi-nude, but starting to show signs of coming to. Killa Rush and I were waking up at the same time while rubbing our aching heads. Ben, Frank and Andre were lying dead on the marble floor.

When Killa and I finally came fully to, I was about to call the cops, but Killa put his hand between my phone and I…

-Don’t do it. You girls just get out of here… These guys just wanted too much fun and OD’d… Hey, I’m the star here. I’ll come out on top…Who are you? Just some innocent unknown girl … Go on. Let’s get you gals out of here.

We dragged the dead bodies out of sight. Then we carried the girls into the showers to wake them up. Once they were up and running again, we programmed our UBERS and left that experience behind until its lid would pop wide open and make it a media circus.

…I told the driver to take me to the beach instead. I wasn’t ready to face home yet. I sat down on the sand with my mobile in hand … As soon as he answered, all I could say as tears washed my face was:

-Hello… Dad. I just want to thank you so much!! …