I Must Protect Her

It sat on the window which was smudged with handprints of child passengers from earlier in the day. The creature remained motionless as the last remnants of warm colors from the setting sun flooded past it into the train. The noise was everywhere, from the people packed in like sardines to the rumble of the train charging forward on its rails. Looking around the train with wild eyes I expected everyone to erupt in excitement at my discovery! They all went on about their day, however, none the wiser to this relic on the glass. 

After I was able to bring my excitement down to a more manageable level I realized that I hadn't ever seen a bee in person before. Around 25 years ago scientists and world experts announced that they were extinct. I was 4 or 5 at the time so it makes sense that I'd only seen bees on TV. Being a child I didn't pay attention to the announcement at the time. In those days animals were always going extinct. I remember that same month we learned about the bees there was a species of rhinoceros that had gone extinct as well. As an adult, I understand what was happening much more clearly. To those that ran the world, and made the most money off of it, animals disappearing was just a byproduct of business.

Here I was, on a ripped, scuffed, and dingy red chair, looking at something that was only seen in books. The bee moved a couple of steps forward on the glass. It was slightly harder to see now that the colors of the world had turned to dark grays and blues. 

As I sat there I had question after question starting to bubble to the surface. Why did it not fly away? Were its wings broken or torn? Could there be more aboard the train? How did it get here? I realized that unfortunately, this lone legend could not answer my questions. I settled on one last question. What was the sex of the bee? My childhood knowledge told me that it's probably a male because the only females are the queens right? I then realized that it didn't matter at all right now. I decided the bee was female because in my mind that made her even more mysterious.

I've heard that in the years leading up to the loss of the bees the world knew what would happen, but they cared more about convenience than saving these small wonders. Very soon after they were gone, people stopped seeing the negative side effects as something that might happen someday. They were forced to see them as something that was happening. I don't know how it happened, I was young when it started and I'm no scientist, I just know what happened. The world's agriculture system started to fail. With every year that passed, there were fewer and fewer crops. After 10 years of that, all the developed countries of the world started putting the majority of their resources towards a solution. After 5 more years and no solution, the development of technologies and medicines were "temporarily" stalled so all experts and resources could fix what was becoming a worldwide shortage of food. It still is stalled. I wish I could answer my questions about the bee with my phone but your average person no longer has one. As our phones died there weren't new ones to replace them so it became normal to not have them. The same with personal transportation. More of us have to use public transport to get around. I spend my time going from town to town on the train looking for work ever since my parents passed away 2 years ago. Eventually, the best the world leaders could come up with was synthetic replacements for much of our agricultural needs. We're just barely getting by but things still get worse each year. Most of the world's livestock have faded away over time due to the lack of resources to feed them. So 25ish years later here we are, sent backward in time as a society and always hungry because the world didn't care about bees.

I suddenly concluded with a sharp resolve that's more concrete and important than anything I've ever felt in my life that I have to protect her! If it's the last thing I do I have to protect her! I may not last another month on this slowly darkening planet but with any time and strength I have I will protect her! If only I could get her to someone important, someone in charge. I'll work my way up the leadership ladder until I find someone that knows where she can be sent to do the most good towards fixing our broken world! They can research her or something right?

At this moment I realized I'd worked myself up into a bit of a frenzy. I was breathing heavy and I could feel that I was probably bright red. I looked up and a middle-aged woman sitting across the aisle locked eyes with me. Over the dull roar of all the conversations in this train car I just barely heard her ask "are you alright?" I nodded my head agreeably towards her while thinking about the fact that I'm more "alright" than I've ever been. I've never really had a calling or a purpose. I couldn't even stop my parents from becoming malnourished and dying, like so many people's parents. This is it. This is my purpose! I will be the bee’s protector! I will show that they still exist and help bring the world back from the edge, they'll read about me in books and I'll be a hero! I'm getting even more worked up now.

At this moment I decided that I didn't want anyone else to know about her. This bee was my destiny and discovery, no one else's! I'll get her off the train safely and then save the world with her! I looked at her on the window. She still sat there and the world was now pitch black behind her. She was only visible by the poor fluorescent lighting in the train. How will I get her out of here safely? After moments of trying to find a solution, I came up with one. I grabbed my glass of water out of the cup holder and a partially used roll of duct tape out of my bag. First I chugged my remaining water and then I began to discreetly and slowly cut strips of duct tape with my pocket knife. It was crude but it worked. I laid 5 or 6 pieces of tape over the top of the glass and pressed them onto it creating a make-shift lid. I then cut several gashes in the tape for air holes. Crap! How am I going to get the bee in there? I'm so dumb! As calmly as possible I started peeling the tape off the top of the glass. I was able to get it about halfway off when I decided I should be able to get the bee in the glass. Then I could keep it safe! Now with the tape partially off I had an opening to put the bee in. The next part was going to be the hardest and most crucial. I would have to carefully and quickly place the opening of the glass over the bee and against the window. I have to be precise. This might also call attention to me but there is no other choice. So I just did it. I did it with the best intentions I could and the universe rewarded me by allowing it to work! The bee is in the glass! I carefully started pulling the glass away from the window while simultaneously pushing the tape back onto the top. What seemed like a sweaty eternity later I did it. I held the now sealed glass with both my hands and looked at it as the precious and fragile world-changing thing it was. A bee in a glass.

After staring at my destiny in a glass for far too long I looked up and darted my eyes around the train car to see if anyone had discovered my mission.  Thankfully a lot of people were asleep or huddled together under blankets. No one seemed to notice. I was confident that I could fix the world alone now. With the bee secure I placed it in my open bag wedged between soft clothes for protection. I left the top of the bag open so she could still get air. I decided I should get some sleep. It will be around sunrise when the train stops at my destination and I can start my mission. I pulled the dingy brown blanket that the train provided up to my neck while staring at the glass in my bag. I should give the bee a name. Saviors should have names. After closing my eyes and contemplating I decided on it. Her name is Beatrice or "B" for short. With that I let my sudden exhaustion settle over me, and fell asleep.

I awoke to the sound of the train whistle. Sitting up abruptly with worry that I'd missed my stop, I felt relief wash over me when I saw that it was still black outside. The whistle was for my stop. The excitement started to grip me as I realized what else it was signaling, my destiny. With that thought, I moved down to my bag to check on B. I gently brought the glass out of my bag and there she was. She stood on the side of the glass just as she stood on the window. Perfect and still. The hard part is over. Soon day will break and I'll save the world with B's help. Finally, I'll be important. 

A short while later there was another whistle. I had been sitting and staring at the duct tape lid of B's glass without noticing that the sun was coming up. The whistle broke me out of my stillness and got me to look at the window just in time to see the color come back into the world. 

Gathering up my bag I decided I needed to leave the zipper open for B. The train slowly came to a stop as all the passengers started getting up and filling the narrow aisle to get out. I was almost out on my own with a clear path to change the world! While clutching the straps of my duffle bag with both hands I gradually made my way into the herd trying to get off the train. I was just entering the small corridor that leads to the exit door when it happened.

It probably only took a few seconds from start to finish but to me, it felt much longer. I had turned towards the door, which was only a few steps away now, with my left side towards the train car and crowd making its way towards the exit. Suddenly my left side was struck by someone. It wasn’t hard, but just enough to make my reflexes kick in to steady myself. My right hand let go of my bag’s strap and I pressed it against the wall to stop myself from falling. As I did that my bag shifted and fell a bit as gravity did its job. Due to this jolting motion, B’s glass slipped out from between the clothes and fell out of the bag. I watched in horror as it hit the ground. The glass bounced once. When it landed from the bounce it rolled behind me, which in retrospect is good because there was no one standing there. Without hesitation or awareness, I shouted “Beatrice!” as I realized what had happened. 

I stumbled backward while also trying to spin around to B’s location. This caused me to lose my balance and fall into the back wall of the corridor. At this point, I had lost all control of my emotions and was only filled with worry for the fate of my recently found destiny. With reckless abandon, I threw my gaze down to B on the floor and saw someone crouched over and picking the glass up. It was the woman I locked eyes with before. She grasped the glass with her left hand as she placed her right hand on the tarnished silver handrail against the wall. She slowly stood up, holding B, while I just stared in a stupor. As she finished standing she let out a subtle groan and locked eyes with me again. 

She stopped halfway to handing me B. Worry flashed across her face, I must look terrible. The woman brought the glass close towards her chest as she asked, “are you still alright?” Immediately I responded verbally, unlike before, “no, I’m not alright, you have my B.” She looked both stunned and confused. Oh no, I told her my secret! She brought the glass up in front of her face so she could study it. Her eyes widened as she saw B. Quickly her look of wonder subsided though, and she let out an amused chuckle. She looked up at me and saw my wild and desperate expression turn to pure confusion. She stopped laughing. “That bee and I are going to fix the world,” I said with determination. Her face showed that she now understood the situation and my emotional state.

The train full of people continued the shuffle past us and go on with their lives, unaffected by my destiny. “When I was a young girl,” the woman started, “my father kept bees for a short time.” She continued for a couple of minutes about how desperately she wanted to help him care for the bees. “One day I spotted a bee away from the hive that looked like it was lost,” she said. “I spent hours trying to catch it for him, and finally I was able to get it into a small container and when I presented it to him, he laughed,” she stated with a nostalgic grin. “He then quickly told me what was so amusing. You see it wasn’t a bee at all. It was a hoverfly,” she finished with a grim look. Seeing that I wasn’t getting it she said with a warm tone “just like the one with the missing wing in your glass.” 

With that, she handed me the glass, gave me one last pitying smile, and left the train. A few moments later I also exited the train with the last of the other passengers. I felt hollow from what had just happened. I had 

B the hoverfly in my right hand, and my open bag being held by one strap in my left hand. 

I found a patch of soft grass on the top of a hill to sit on, right near the station, as I heard the train leave into the distance. I sat criss-cross with my bag to the left of me and B, still in the glass, sitting on the ground in front of me. After a few moments of this and I finally started to shake out of my daze. I let the weight of my reality fall heavily back on my shoulders and I came to terms with everything. I would not be saving the world. I didn’t have a destiny. There is no calling for me and I am still not special. Slowly I zipped my bag, grabbed the glass, and stood up. I carefully undid the duct tape on top of the glass and threw the tape on the ground. Crouching over I tipped the glass and gently shook it against the ground to get B out. Once she was out I set the glass on the ground, grabbed my bag, and stood back up. Looking out at the still slowly rising sun I wanted to feel good. The beautiful colors of the morning were hitting me in all of their brilliance on this hill. Even though all I could see was barren midwestern fields. I looked down at B, the savior, one more time. “Thank’s for nothing hoverfly,” I said. With that, I looked back towards the sunshine and started walking towards town, and towards nothing at all.