Girlfriend Experiences

    She did one more makeup check before her performance. Her eyeliner was a perfect foxy look; a thick black line thinning to a point just beyond the edge of each eye. There were no stray eyebrow hairs present, they were all covered by the wide black stripe of makeup. Her forehead was that perfect tanned look she wanted and her cheeks matched except for their hint of rosy. Her cheekbones appeared higher than they actually were and her lip filler was holding strong. She puckered her lips at herself in the mirror, admired the deep red shade of lipstick and bounced up and down a little. Then she pulled down her blouse, her favorite red lace, to reveal a little more cleavage, but not enough to show any nipple. Her green leggings were straight and she checked that her ass looked fabulous, which it did. She looked, in a word, flawless.

    “Go get’em girl,” she said to her reflection and winked.

    The stage was set. A small dresser covered by multi-colored fabric sat slightly askew to the right with a series of collectable figurines lining the top. A small pile of stuffed animals, which had nary a trace of use, sat comfortably on an impossibly pink bed. Everything was wrapped in LED string lights she could control from an app on her phone. On the wall above the desk, ‘Tally’ was spelled out in light panels. She set the temperature in the room the way she liked and sat in her “gamer” chair. One of her generous subscribers gifted it to her, but she’d forgotten which one. She pulled her microphone, which was attached to an articulating arm, close to her, then pushed it away to the perfect distance. Below her desk was a small fridge where she stored water and other drinks from brands she’d made deals with. She checked to make sure she had enough on hand and pulled out a water bottle, placing it on the desk so the webcam could pick up the label.

She checked that her camera was on but not recording yet. The preview page was broadcasting a photo of her sitting on her bed wearing a frilly, revealing outfit from one of her favorite anime series. Friendly text read “Stream Starting Soon!” at the bottom. She glanced at her screen to see the number of people waiting for her to start, it was under one-hundred. She opened her music app on her phone and selected random on her Christmas playlist. She scrolled through her typed notes and schedule while she waited for more people to start watching. Once the room peaked above one-hundred watchers she mentally prepared herself one last time for work before starting the stream. 

She’d been streaming full time, which constituted four days a week at about four hours each day, for over a year now. She had done her research and hired an accountant early on. Streaming is contract work, technically, and she had to pay taxes on the money made from subscriptions and donations she received. She’d heard about streamers who tried to do their own taxes, after they were informed that they, in fact, had to pay taxes on what they earned, and she didn’t want that to happen to her. With a lawyer and accountant she started her own business she named ‘Tally Ho Entertainment', after her screen name, Tally_Ho. Only her mom calls her Natalie anymore. She’s known online and off as Tally_Ho or, simply, Tally. 

She had a presence on all of the respected social media apps and she was looking into the more seedy ones. She had her favorite photographer, who she went to school with, taking her photos. Tally helped her start her own photography business doing weddings, graduations and modeling shots for a few magazines and websites. Tally believed strongly in bringing up those around her as she rose in the new industry of streamers. She was only twenty when she started as an outlet for her stress of going to college. She only dabbled then. At that time it was mostly boys pretending to be men playing video games and being annoying, in her view. As it formalized, there was a niche for models talking, somewhat, directly to a fan base. That’s where Tally fit.

She had a plan for that stream, as she always did. The first hour would be chatting with followers and subscribers. Tally tried not to separate the two, treating them equally so that followers would become paying subscribers. These chats would be freeform. She’d answer some questions, greet people who typed in the chat and say whatever would come to her mind. Usually she’d end up chatting about a television show, movies or games since most of her audience were male. Tally shied away from celebrity gossip as those streamers tend to have more drama. That could net you more money from fans, but the drama would keep increasing and it would become too much of a hassle for her. She liked to keep it simple. At twenty-five she’d paid off her school debt entirely, owned her own car and was paying off a mortgage on her condo. Her plan had her debt free in less than five years, and that included traveling. Of course, the pandemic slowed her travel plans, but that just meant she could pay off her condo sooner. 

“Oh my god, you guys! Merry Christmas everyone and thank you for joining me! Hi mike_abs_man,” she said as she read  the greetings from her chat window. “Hello wordsly, I haven’t seen you for awhile. Thanks for joining me.” She tried to verbally greet everyone who greeted her in chat, her fans didn’t like it when she skipped them. Their monetary investment through monthly subscriptions made some of them quite egocentric. She put up with them because the money was good and putting on makeup and chatting with strangers was the easiest way she could think to make money. The gifts were nice bonuses as well.

This was her Christmas Eve stream and she’d already spent most of the day in front of a computer. Tally’s family had their video chat earlier in the day followed by her boyfriend, Parker’s family. He moved in with her shortly after she bought the condo. They’d been together for over a year now and she wasn’t sure where their relationship was going. She kept that away from her stream and only confided in her actual friends. 

Tally had virtual snow falling on her in the stream, it piled up at the bottom of the screen. “I really want some elves at the bottom of my screen to make a snowman,” she said, then laughed at herself. “That would be so fun, you guys. Someone make it for me,” she teased. 

She was an hour into her stream when a familiar subscriber entered the chat and greeted her. “Hello DC_PandRIC,” Tally said. “I’m doing well, how are you tonight?” She read through and responded to a few other fans before he typed a message again. Without thinking, she read the message out loud, as she normally did. “Will you marry me?” Tally’s head jerked back with surprise and she covered her mouth. “Dude, PandRIC, no, I’m not going to marry you. What are you thinking? I mean, I’m flattered, but no.” 

Her chat window was a flurry of text from other fans expressing a mixture of shock, jealousy and pity. “I’d take care of you and you’d never have to work again,” she read. “I’m not looking for anyone to take care of me, I’m doing really great on my own, thank you. In today’s world a woman can make her own way and not need to rely on a man to take care of her.” She shifted her blouse, her breasts jiggling slightly as she did so. 

Immediately, two more proposals came in from subscribers. “You guys are so lame to propose right after someone else in chat. At least PandRIC was original, and totally out of line, by the way. But you two are just pathetic.” Tally scanned the chat for something else to talk about. “Where is your Christmas tree? It’s in the living room, there just wasn’t enough room in here because I got a tree that was too big. I should have gotten a smaller tree. I was thinking of the trees I used to get with my parents at their house, which is bigger than my condo and I went overboard. I love it though, there are pictures on my Insta. Check them out. Thank you for the sub! Thank you axelvis_firstofhisname. I love that name, thanks for the subscription!”

As she powered through another hour or her stream and a few glasses of eggnog, the chatter about the proposal died down. For having met her subscriber goal of fifty people the reward was set at five minutes of dancing, chosen by her current subscribers. Tally scrolled through her playlist for a song to dance to, saying aloud the names for her ‘subs’ to choose. Once chosen, she adjusted her camera so everyone could see her head to toe. The music started coming through the speakers and Tally imagined herself at a crowded club with the music flowing through her body. She moved erratically, doing parts of dance moves one after another. She hopped close to the computer when she heard the sound of a new follower or subscriber and thanked them by username, then continued to dance until the song ended. 

“Alright, that was fun! I hope you all had fun too!” Tally sat down, adjusted her blouse again and pulled her hair back over her shoulders. “That really got my heart pumping, wow!”

The next hour was much the same; thank people, answer questions and generally have a one sided conversation. In the quiet moments her thoughts went to places she’d like to avoid. She remembered learning about cafes in Japan where lonely men go to pay for girlfriend experiences. The women, mostly young women in schoolgirl outfits, would pretend to have a history with their, sometimes much older, clients. They’d drink tea and flirt with them. It seemed to her that was just a few steps from prostitution, but there were other cafes where a man would receive actual acts of prostitution with his tea or noodles. That disgusted her, at first. Slowly, however, she found herself in front of a camera showing as much of herself as allowed by not very stringent rules while, mostly, men paid her money to come close to pornography. Tally’s rules for the chatroom included no sexualizing the model, Tally, but she often wondered how many of her subscribers did just that while keeping it out of the chat. After a year of streaming that way she was now contemplating adding adult streaming to her repertoire. 

Tally’s phone made the little jingle notifying her of a new text message. She casually picked up her phone while finishing her thoughts to her fans. “That’s why I have a problem with the new update. It makes the healers almost useless in raids and,” she read the text message, then read it again. “What the hell? How did you get my number?” 

She scrolled through the list of users in her chat and found DC_PandRIC. “How the hell did you get my number, PandRIC? That’s private, how did you get it?” She scanned the chat to see if he replied, but instead she found many people asking for her phone number to be posted in chat. “The mods better be on their game or I’ll shut chat down entirely!” 

Several users posted numbers, some were long enough to be phone numbers, others weren’t. All of them were deleted within a second of being posted, none of them were DC_PandRIC. Then the chat window stopped filling up. One message was posted by the moderator in Tally’s chat. ‘Chat has been suspended due to spam posts of phone numbers, real or not.’ 

“Thank you,” Tally said. 

She looked at the text messages sent by DC_PandRIC. ‘Hello Tally, this is PandRIC. You are teh most beautiful woman in entire world! I love you!’  Then there was a picture of a ring box, followed by another picture of the opened ring box with a ring inside. ‘Will you marry me??!!??!!??!!’ 

“I can’t deal with this now,” Tally said. “PandRIC, no. No, I will not marry you. I am canceling your subscription and banning you forever. Do not use my phone number again. I don’t know how you even got it, but now I’ve got to change it. I am not happy about this at all and I’m done for tonight. The stream is over.” She shut down her stream, her camera and even her computer. Her phone rang displaying an unfamiliar number so she declined it. She confirmed it was PandRIC’s from the texts and put down her phone. 

She found Parker in the kitchen making dinner. She stood in the living room watching him for a few moments before he noticed her. There were pots and pans on the counter, dirty from his failed attempts to cook a meal. It was an ongoing mess. On the bar separating the kitchen from the living room, which served as their dining room table, were two glasses, a bottle of champagne and a small white box. A tear started running down her cheek, over her water resistant makeup and disguised cheekbone. 

“What is this?” Tally said, looking at the box. 

Parker turned around quickly. “Woah, you scared me babe,” he said. “I thought I had more time before you were finished. Is everything alright?”

“It’s been a long day and I had a terrible experience with the stream and now I just want to know what this is,” Tally said as she picked up the box. “Is this what I think it is?”

“Are those tears of joy?”

“No, they’re not. What is this, Parker? Tell me now, please.”

“Ok.” Parker walked away from the stove and around the bar, gently grabbing the box out of Tally’s hand. “I’ve been thinking lately just how much you mean to me.”

“Oh, god,” Tally said as a few more tears rolled out. “Parker.”

“Let me finish, please. When I look back on the last year I’ve been with you, and I think of how much I’ve changed for the better, it’s because of you. I love you, Tally.” Parker knelt down on one knee and looked up into Tally’s crying face. “Even with tears in your eyes, you’re so beautiful. Tally, will you-” 

“I can’t fucking do this,” Tally cut him off. She turned away and ran for the bathroom. “Bad timing, Parker!” she shouted as she slammed the door behind her.

After cleaning the makeup off her face, which took longer than she felt it should, she stared into the mirror, evaluating her life. Stripping away the paint from her face she looked upon her true self. The weight of the life she built for herself over the last few years, the sacrifices she’d made and the rewards of those sacrifices seemed imbalanced. She’d somehow given herself up for comfort and given herself over to men’s more base interests. They’ve seen her as owing them something she never offered. She really didn’t know how to feel.

“Tally, babe,” Parker said on the other side of the bathroom door. He knocked. “Tally, are you alright?” She didn’t respond. “Please explain this text on your phone, Tally. Who is this person? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Tally slumped down on the toilet seat. She sat across from her pink shower curtain adorned with little anime characters in skimpy outfits. Her towels were also pink. ‘Happy’ was spelled out in light panels above the mirror. “Merry fucking Christmas, Tally.” She knew this was going to be a long night.