First Day of School

Natalie walked away from the school building incredulously as she buttoned up her coat and wrapped her scarf around her neck. She couldn't believe they let her do it.

"I can't wait to see what you come up with." And with that, her meeting with the school's principal ended, and her admission to this Millford High School – as a 23-year-old author – was secured. It was going to be her first time ever attending a public high school. She faltered for a moment at that thought. Was this really a good idea? While she was talking to her publisher yesterday, it seemed like a good idea to attend an actual high school for a while. After all, what better way to understand the high school experience than to experience it for yourself? Movies and books gave her some idea of the environment but it still wasn’t enough to be able to write her novel with it. She forced her feet towards her car. This was going to be a purely observational experience. It would be okay; she would watch, not get involved.

Nerves mostly settled, she regained her conviction and got in her car. It would probably be a good idea to quickly drive around the outside of the school, just to get at least a little acclimated with the building’s surroundings. A minute of driving revealed nothing out of the ordinary. A few boys were playing something on their smartphones together, presumably waiting for someone. The marching band was also nearby, despite the cold. Nothing too different from the movies. Anyway, it was time to go home. Her schedule indicated that classes would start at 7:30 AM, so her usual bedtime of 12 AM after working on her writing would be far too late to wake up on time.

Ayana Tautou was a new junior transferring in from France. She stepped into the windy parking lot and made her way to the front door. She remembered a quote she read somewhere - “Act like you belong, and people won’t question your presence” – and it definitely applied now. Despite being several years younger, most of the students didn’t seem to look like it, and they didn’t notice anything off with her. Except for the principal, that is. He smiled and gave her a thumbs up.

Students filled up the main entrance, making it slow to get in. She hoped this wouldn’t be a common theme around the school. She opened up her schedule (which was mostly haphazardly put together; her academics weren’t the focus here) and found her first class – Physics, in room 308. She tapped someone next to her.

“Excuse me, where’s room 308?” The tired-looking boy mumbled, “stairs are ahead, go two floors up, take the first hallway and you’ll see it there.” Pushing her way through the droves of students, all with varying amounts of energy in this early morning, she found the room right where the boy said it would be. It was arranged with several large tables all over the room, with 4-5 chairs per table. There were only a few students in the room at the moment.

Ayana must have been early. Then again, of course she was; punctuality is invaluable in the adult world, and most high schoolers weren’t well versed in the skill yet. The other scattered students, likely the ones with only a few friends, briefly looked up at her before returning to their phones.

“Ah, you must be the new student.” The middle-aged teacher winked at the last word. The principal must have informed Ayana’s teachers of her secret. She pointed at a seat near the middle of the classroom. “That’s your seat in my class. Also, you can introduce yourself when everyone gets here!”

Ayana sat down and watched the other students. Not one of the other students tried to talk to her. No wonder they were quietly in here, mindlessly scrolling on their phones. She decided not to bother trying to interact with them. After an awkward few minutes, students started pouring in. She noticed that many of them came in groups of two to five, and suspected that these were the kids who would even try talking to her. Well, they would have, were they not so engrossed in each other.

Once everyone was settled (seriously, how much could these kids talk?), Mrs. Henry stood up.

“Good morning, guys! Today, we’ve got a new student… from France!” Ayana gave a light wave to everyone. She felt everyone’s eyes on her as she walked to the front of the room. Why was she paying attention to their attention?

She introduced herself with her false background fairly quickly.

“Wonderful introduction! I’m sure you’ll be a great addition to our class!” Most of the class just stared at her with blank faces, as if they’d be more interested in Mrs. Henry’s lectures on physics. Ayana decided to just attribute it to it being too early in the morning for them to care. Teenagers were fickle that way. She waded her way through the sea of bored, yet staring, faces back to her seat. “Alright! Today, we’re continuing our work on forces, and we’ll be looking at some more complex systems with multiple objects.” Ayana mostly remembered this material from a few years ago. Her homeschooling was likely much more rigorous than public schools.

As Mrs. Henry drew diagrams on the board, Ayana looked around the classroom. They were slowly starting to wake up a little. There were a number of small interactions happening between some people. The two boys off to her right were obviously playing some kind of game together. Either Mrs. Henry was oblivious, or she just didn’t care. In front of them, two friends were mouthing things to each other and silently laughing. She scribbled all of this into her notebook instead of the forces Mrs. Henry was talking about. After twenty or so more minutes of teaching (and observing, on Ayana’s part), Mrs. Henry finally announced, “Okay, you’ve had enough of me talking! Get yourselves into groups of 3 or 4 – don’t forget Ayana – and start working on this worksheet I’m leaving up here!” She left the class to its own devices as she sat in front of her laptop.

Ayana noticed that many of the little interactions from earlier essentially defined who would be working together. Well, time to invade one of these groups. She noticed someone waving at her.

“Hi Ayana! You wanna join our group?” The energetic girl waving at her was sitting with two others, an Asian girl with rectangular glasses, and a very slightly chunky-looking boy with a collared t-shirt. They also looked up with faint smiles.

“Sure.” Having no one else to work with, she sat down at their table. “So, what are all of your names?”

“I’m Alison! But you can call me Ali!” Why did she sound so excited?

The glasses girl spoke very softly. “I’m Lilly, nice to meet you.”

“I’m Peter,” he said in the most matter-of-fact way possible. Alison pulled her chair in closer.

“Okay, let’s get started, guys!” Again, Alison sounded far too excited about this. The work that Mrs. Henry left for them was vaguely familiar to Ayana, and she noticed that she was still able to keep up with the rest of them, more or less. Alison and Lilly were quietly chatting with each other as they worked, while Peter mostly kept to himself. Ayana suspected that Alison pulled him into the group only because he sat at the same table. He ended up not talking much, and the class was eventually over. Ayana looked at her schedule and asked for help to get to her English class.

“Don’t worry! Lilly can take you there!” Alice seemed to grin a little harder than usual at that last sentence. Lilly didn’t seem to have a problem with it, and they walked to their English class together.

Ayana went through the same self-introduction drill in English, and the teacher told them that the plan for the class was to take the first half writing an essay on the writing strategies in a small passage. She managed to put something together by the end of the half hour. Looking around the room for someone to peer-review with, her mind jumped to Lilly, who was already looking at her. They found two desks near each other and started reading each other’s work. Ayana was entranced by Lilly’s work. Even though it was non-fiction, it was somehow written very fluidly and the ideas within the “rough” essay built upon each other seamlessly. This girl had a future in writing. Lilly had similar thoughts about Ayana’s essay. It was really good for someone who had grown up in France. A little too good, actually...

They discussed a few small suggestions with each other, but there wasn’t really much to talk about in regards to their short essays. Lilly revealed that she wanted to major in English. Whatever job she ended up with, she wanted to be writing. Preferrably, she wanted to be a novellist, even though her parents would most likely prefer her to work with something more “practical.” Ayana couldn’t help but smile at this. Of course, Lilly’s ambitions struck a chord with Ayana. While she had promised herself not to get to attached to anyone, she couldn’t help but share her own love of literature with Lilly after this. After their half hour of class was over, Ayana found herself silently cheering Lilly on. They didn’t share any more classes, so she asked for directions to her next one and parted ways.

The next two classes were rather monotonous. They were both classes where the teacher had her introduce herself, and then they spent the remainder of the class lecturing on their respective subjects. Ayana’s homeschooling was certainly more interactive, though that was likely because all of the attention was on her. Nonetheless, they gave her the opportunity to watch the background activities amongst the students. Even some of the more superfluous details made it into her “school” notebook. At the end of these classes, her schedule said it was time for lunch, and sure enough, the hallways were filled again as everyone made their way to the cafeteria.

Ayana had heard many complaints about school food which she couldn’t relate to, as she ate decent home-cooked or restaurant food during her homeschooling. This would be her first time trying it, if she ever got to the cafeteria in time amongst the droves of kids. Again, she noticed that most of them traveled in packs of at least two or three. It seemed that socializing was key within this population. Ayana kept trying to deny to herself that it was making her feel lonely. She was saved from the thought as a familiar figure – no, two – sidled up to her.

“Hey, Ayana!” she said, elongating the word hey. Alice and Lilly joined her in the march to the cafeteria. “You wanna eat lunch with us?” Having no one else to sit with, she agreed, whilst simultanously burying her feelings of relief. They eventually made it through the lunch line and found a seat in the very crowded room.

She gave Alice and Lilly a few details about French schools that she had heard from her father, especially about the food. But, she didn’t want to talk too much about her own life because she was bound to slip up with her little double identity. She tried changing the topic to the school and learned that there were clubs. Apparently these were a critical aspect of high school life, along with sports. Alice was in the student council, and – this interested Ayana the most – Lilly was in the Literature Club. She’d have to visit them today.

A nearby group of people started talking about a new movie they were planning to watch, and Alice suddenly asked,

“What movies have you seen, Ayana? You said you learned your English from American movies, but it feels weird somehow.” Ayana just shrugged. That was a bit of an issue she hadn’t considered. She’d have to quickly pick up on the subtle features of the language teenagers use. This was the kind of mistake she’d have to be careful of in the future. Overall, though, that one lunch break was very useful, so she tried to remember as much of it as possible in order to record it into her notebook later. Her remaining classes gave her enough time to do this, meaning that her day’s mission was complete along with the school day.

Lilly and Alice were apparently waiting for her when she reached the main doors to leave for the day.

“Ayana! Remember how we mentioned clubs?” Ayana nodded. She had forgotten about them until now. “As I said, I’m in the student council, but maybe you’d want to join Lilly at the Literature Club?” Ayana agreed and Lilly led her to the club. Ayana wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but decided to keep an open mind. Her purpose here, after all, was to learn about high school, and this was a valid way to do it.

At the literature club, Lilly became as passionate as she was in English class. The typically shy-looking girl took the lead on the discussions of the book the club was currently reading, and eagerly convinced Ayana to read the same book. Ayana felt drawn to Lilly’s new energy, as most people didn’t care this much about books. Sure, some of her friends thought it was “impressive” that she had published a book, but none of them could talk about them like Lilly could. Ayana was almost disappointed when the club’s meeting was over. Before she knew it, she was walking back to her car with Lilly’s phone number written down on a sticky-note.

Even just with one day, Ayana had recorded and learned many new things for her novel. This was turning out to be very useful for research. The downside was definitely the exhaustion. The seven-plus hours of constant learning and walking around was not easy. But, she found herself oddly satisfied with the day. It felt more productive than usual, even though she only gathered some details for use in her novel. She spent the last few hours of her day writing for the magazine and getting organized for tomorrow. As she was about to sleep, she noticed she had messages from Lilly. Ayana simply couldn’t help herself. A few texts turned into a thirty-minute conversation about nothing at all, really. It ended up just being an excuse to stay awake, but her habit of punctuality eventually forced both of them to sleep.

Day after day, Ayana continued to make observations and learn more and more about what it was like to be in high school. She even did homework on some days just to understand how they managed their time. Suddenly, all of the tropes about teenagers being tired all of the time started to make sense. She could no longer judge them for being “lazy” or sleepy. Part of this assimilation into the school also involved her new friendships, which was unexpected. Interestingly enough, she found herself eagerly anticipating conversations with Lilly every day, especially about writing. It was certainly odd to have become friends with a high school girl, but that’s what ended up happening. She genuinely wanted Lilly to succeed with her writing, so she even started spending more time with her outside of school and the club. Lilly ended up inviting Ayana to her house several times for no reason other than to spend time, and Ayana found it impossible to refuse even though she knew she’d leave the school by winter. If her publisher hadn’t set a deadline of December, she might have even written her novel slower. But, there was no slowing down time. Winter approached every day.

It truly hit her as she stepped onto the school parking lot, and she stepped into a fine layer of snow. She found herself making a decision she couldn’t imagine making several weeks ago. She invited Lilly to her apartment. Lilly, of course, was beyond ecstatic.

Their typical “hangout” came to a screeching halt as Lilly noticed that the notebook Ayana carried around all the time had notes – notes on people in the school. Lilly had to ask. She couldn’t explain why, but Ayana made the decision to just tell the truth – the whole truth. Lilly listened intently, realizing Ayana’s quirks, like her writing, her tendency to skip homework, the lack of evidence of parents in the apartment and her decidedly un-Frenchness were all results of this big secret. Lilly sighed and revealed one of her own. She might as well, because she’d never see Natalie again after a few days.

“I think I have a crush on you.” These eight words made Natalie realize what she’d done. The hurt in Lilly’s eyes captured Natalie’s conscience.

“I’m sorry.” She held the younger girl in her arms as the girl began to shed tears. Soon, Lilly was weeping and Natalie decided she didn’t want to leave the younger girl.

“When you’re a little older, come find me again. I promise you can have what you want.” Lilly nodded. She left Natalie’s apartment in tears. Natalie stayed on the floor for an hour and noticed a few tears in her eyes, too. “Just a couple of years,” she thought, as she cried herself to sleep.

That feeling never left, even as she finished her manuscript and handed it in to her publisher.

“Thanks, Natalie. I hope your time in that school was worth it. I have high hopes, and I look forward to reading this.” Natalie smiled as she left the office, daydreaming of a certain future author she’d want her publisher to meet one day.