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My tour guide from the Fantasies stretched out his hand. I only saw his tanned arm and hand. “You see, these grunting, sweating, whipped, tired men have been slaving away for Her Majesty. They’ve been working their rear-ends off day in and day out, splashing cold water over their own and each other’s heads and blowing puffs of hot, heavy air. Every time they take a five minute break, it’s a look of hopelessness shining in their eyes. They see that queen. But they want her stacking, too.”               

I looked up through the black-stoned castle’s tower glass window, where a woman, gold diamond earrings dangling from her ears, wore a garnet crown. My guide (as if he could read my mind) warned that if I touched it, I’d bleed as if I pricked my finger with a thorn. I actually winced in pain, scowling down at my fingers. I wrung my hand, shaking off the sharpness.                  

How am I going to…defeat her? Do I defeat her? I scratched my head. Who am I—?    

“Don’t ask yourself those questions. You’re the Prince Charming meant to fall in love with her. Not the princess. But the lone queen.”

I turned to my guide with a dry mouth. “How—how do I fall in love with a woman so evil she’d do anything to stay queen?” Then I laughed. “I have more important things to do—like get back to my life. The guys back at the grill-out are waiting. I told them I’d be back. Now—can I go?” 

The guide chuckled. “You know your stories! And she’s not evil. But I can tell you that you do not have to work hard—not even lift a finger—to eradicate the loneliness in your life. You just need to win her heart. That’s the way of love. Because there’s no other way around it. You either—”           

“But hard work,” I pointed at the men, “doesn’t seem to, well, work. Just look at all that stuff. Stones laid one upon one the other. Well, when you’re working hard, you want results. And marrying that witch is not going to get me anywhere. I’m sorry! I’m not going to go in there to marry some witchy nobody just to turn my life into a living nightmare. These poor men are already being harassed. Their lives are living hell. I don’t see the difference between their present and my future!”                 

Silence.   

“It’s not an adventure.” I rolled my eyes, causing my guide to roar. “I…I’m just a simple man. Who am I to go and change such a vile heart?”                       

“Go.” My tour guide jerked a finger, I saw, and I scoffed. The guide questioned me. “Why are you so reluctant? You’re going to have to woo—or boohoo, should you fail.” 

“Fail?” Icy fear seized me. The tour guide’s hand stretched before me, pointing to the men stacking brick upon brick. “Then, just like these men, you’ll be condemned to brick making and stacking. Serving Her Majesty until she deems you good enough to do another chore. But you’ll never become king. You’ll always be serving her— but never with her. And you must rescue these men, too.”        

I jolted, whipping around. And stared. Save them from their endless brick-laying? How? When? Where? Do I need to…? I thought of an idea. Dashing towards a stable I saw over yonder, I stole one of the horses, leaping on it and charging away, its neighing louder than the blowing wind as I went to a ironsmith’s dark lair of a workshop. Skidding to a halt, the horse chomped on its bit as I jumped off, ground-tying it. I went into the man’s metal-making world, slicing from him a piece of silvery goodness known as a future sword.                  

I tried working out what he was saying underneath that mustache (and in his thick, gruff voice), but I got as far as ‘the ‘een’s gonna slice yew up ‘ore ‘ou ‘an ‘ith ‘at sword.”

I looked at the hunk of metal, throwing every anvil pound at it, the sparks illuminating hope in me. She wasn’t going to make me a slave to her own castle, sipping red wine in one of my cleaned sparkling cups. She was going to either end up in the ground dead, or she was going to be on the ground, humility her master!

Days went by before I even made a dent in my promise. Sighing, I jammed the sword into the soft earth. It cracked. Need more work. I kept at it, pounding that thick piece of grayness until it was as thin as…well, I didn’t waste time thinking about clichés as I swung that hammer over and over again. Years went by, the men and me sipping coffee over a roaring fire and telling jokes. Friendships were made. But, like those men, I felt myself aching endlessly from vain work. Why, I questioned myself, was I the savior? The arm of continuity hitting again and again but never getting anywhere.

The ironsmith didn’t even look at me. He kept at it. Part of me wanted to tell him—and every other man—there was no point at hammering away at something he should know wouldn’t work against killing that woman off. I left the sword, bold as it was to do so, and dashed back to the castle on my horse. After ground tying it, I crossed the drawbridge, and entered the castle. I ran up the marble steps, around and around, up and up. How long is this place? How high is this tower? Do I just keep climbing and climbing, never reaching the top? Is this place all an eerie dream?

Looking warily around the empty throne room, I crept through the place towards her throne. It was silver and icy-white. Like it was made of metalwork itself. I thought. How could the throne be made, those doors be made and…the whole castle…? And another thing: the witch wasn’t behind her throne anymore.            

“Hey. Witch! Wherever you are, you’re queen, right? You’re reigning over all the land. Over me. Over everything. Happy? Besides, how is everything made already, but the men outside are working to death? Nothing’s done yet?”

 “Because I’m queen. It’s that way, and it’ll always be so!”         

She walked gracefully into the throne room, silently lounging on her throne, her legs going up and onto one of the armchairs and her shoulder blades resting against the other arm. Her neck made an arch around it. Her dress was all dark turquoise and sapphire and black, holes here and there. Her gorgeous brown eyes with thick black makeup looked up at me. The queen inquired something.                             

I wanted to roll my eyes. I pursed my lips and then said, “Prepare yourself, witch. You can’t win. I need to win your heart. But hopefully, I won’t have to break my sword trying to get to it.”         

She laughed, and I shivered, icy breaths exiting my mouth in visible puffs. I rubbed my arms with my hands and then rubbed my hands together. “You? You’d be down there quicker than you think, slave boy. You’ll be trading your sword for a brick.”  

“I’m not continuing your castle. But I have to build our relationship like those men are building this castle. Maybe by the time I’m done, they’ll be done. Hopefully.” If I can change them, too.      

“Okay, sir.” Her sliminess rooted me to the spot. I looked all around me at magnificent cedar posts—every other one—holding this throne room up from destruction. Glass decorated some of this place. I shook my head. I’ll never understand why everything has to be such wealth, or glory or power. “But I do understand one thing—no one in Fantasies has to be tied down by this cruel monarch. I pointed my sword at the queen, and said, “Hope your heart’s as beautiful as this place. One day, I’ll be ruling it. Hopefully, with you, too.” Despite the fact that my mouth filled with metallic fear, I clutched my sword, studied my surroundings and then just walked away. She can drown in all this self-indulgence. I’m going home. I told my tour guide I wasn’t into this Fantasies world. He could guide someone else instead.   

“But wait. I hope you’re remembering something!”

“What?”

“What else? The promise of a reign with your future wife, of course! She’s not evil—she’s just cold from loneliness.”

“Forget it. She’s just an evil witch hell-bent on causing me to an endless fate of vain work.” I stomped away. The more I went, the more I felt burdened with my own want. I looked back. The tour guide waved me on. He was even smiling, cheeks with dimples!

I wished that horse was my horse. I needed a real companion, not some old wise wizard-like guy. I ran down this weird, reddish-brown dusty trail road. I dropped my sword. Free! Soon, I was panting, breathing heavily. I wiped my brow. “Help, I need something to drink!” I cried.

After I returned, my tour guide handed me a cup out of thin air, it seemed. I grabbed it, downing it.

“Need more!” I thrust it out, and he gave me more.

“Now, go have a wonderful banquet with your new wife. Remember—you’re both suffering.”

He was right. After my wife had passed years ago, I just wanted to party. Seemed like that night didn’t go as planned, for I had stepped onto unfamiliar territory. Where I had met an unexpected person. 

I looked up at the woman in the castle, those long dangling earrings shining so brilliantly in the sunlight. Or rather the reflection of some golden magic mirror meant to inflame her sense of self-importance. She was so vain things glistened her beauty. I charged up that castle, demanding her to make me king so she could bow before me! Once I had the sword pointed right at her, she laughed, icy shivers avalanching down my spine. However, I stood my ground. “You’re not going anywhere, woman! I’m going to make you the same as I, no matter what! I’ll be king instead. It’s better than your rule.”

Then I charged. The woman jumped surprisingly away from the throne, and somewhere else in the throne room. Over by her chambers’ blood-red curtains! Then over by her throne. After appearing over by a huge window behind her throne, I smirked. Yes! I can push her—right onto the haystack where she belongs. Sir, if you so kindly…” She clapped, and guards seemed to appear at her command on all sides of us, like two halves of a circle. “Get this gentleman out of the way, I’ll continue looking out this window as I always have. There’s no point in sharing a kingdom with someone who doesn’t understand heartache like I do. Besides, he can befriend the men down there.” She smiled, her head tilted. Yes?”

“Yes, Your Majesty!” As the guards all headed for me, I backed away, protecting myself with my pointed sword. I attacked any and all guards’ blows and lunges. Finally, when everyone was around me, I stood, content, in front of the throne, looking at this woman. She probably didn’t even pay attention!

“Did you even see that?”     

She stood in front of the window again. “No.” she shook her head, adding silkily, “No.”

Fiery anger swelled in me. I clenched my hands and gritted my teeth. “Have you trapped me in here? And for what?!”

“I haven’t. You’ve come on your own accord.” She summoned a fox. Its tail was in plain sight, hanging off her arm as her ringed finger stroked it. It lay with tiny eyes closed in her cloth-draped arms.

 “Look, witch, I don’t have time for your games. I want to get out of here, just live my life again. I don’t see what’s so important about your glorious world. If your little fox pet is happy, great. Even if it takes the rest of my life, I’ll never serve you!”

“I want to serve with someone. Like so long ago.” She turned slowly around, her cold, dark eyes boring into mine. Gorgeous but intimidating.

“What? You have everything in the world.”

“Not a husband.”

I laughed. “Gee—I wonder where he’s from. The stables? Oh—I think I ground-tied him.”

She shook her head, and let the animal free. “No. he died. Long time ago. I just want some peace. A marriage. Someone to rule with would be greater than all this kingdom stuff!”

I thought of retaliating. With my sword. But the tour guide wouldn’t approve of my bloodshed. I was a good guy. Memories of my Friday, Sunday and Monday night football parties with the guys from work, my neighborhood grill outs and my lonely days at the beach, reading the news distracted me. Everything would be greater with a new woman in my life. I smiled as these memories flooded my mind. I was happy! What was wrong with that?

I looked down at the tour guide. He was standing there, his white hat flowing in the wind after he took it off. He reminded me of those old Western men with their long white beards and their wrinkles—aged with time and knowledge—all hiding such profound words all in a sparkle in the eyes. I looked back at the queen. I bowed.

“Your Highness, if I am here to stay, I’d like to work up to being king. Maybe the curse would break that way.” I formulated a plan. Years went by as I slaved away, doing all she asked. I worked better, harder and more than anyone else. Even the men said I was such a dedicated farm boy or perseverant peasant or joyful jouster. They started to trust me, thanking me for helping them get better jobs and, finally, realizing they didn’t need to work forever. They all tried helping me convince that queen she was better off alone. I sighed, saying I’d rather face her alone. I had to. Everyone consented grudgingly.

“So, what are we going to do?”

“Obey her.”

“Okay.”

She said one day she didn’t want me working for her. She wanted company. “Who would laugh and hug and smile with me every day and every night. Who would be my best friend. A companion. A helper. A lover. A husband.” She kissed her pet fox. It wagged its tail.    

But months passed before I was sure she approved of my work—only then would the spell be broken! I even asked. After she answered in the negative, I said, “I too have faced pain. We both have. Now, I thought we’d mend it. One brick at a time. Once I’ve worked hard enough, the working-in-vain curse will break.” Then I’d go home. 

“You think—?” Her voice cut quick, but I deflected it, pointing my sword right at her before that witch’s iciness caused even fear to beg me not to take a step farther.

“Yes!”

She didn’t speak, but called her fox to her, petting it, her back to me. Then, lounging on her throne, she looked up at the sparkling chandelier. I swung from it even, the fox growling at me. No answer. 

One day, she invited me in to another room. A table was set for us?

I walked steadily, my sword at my side. After glancing warily around, I watched the queen enter, scrape back a chair and sit in it. I sat in a chair next to her. We ate in pure silence, it deafening at times. I strived to clean my plate, but the queen sat back, contented. She smiled. “Good meal, no?”

“Yes…” I watched her closely. Was this all a trick?

She stood up. “Come.”

Her little fox pet wove in and out of her high heels as we walked. Walked and walked. Then she pushed back something silky and soft—my mouth curled inwards—and beckoned me forward.

I looked, and there was a white cake with a slice on a plate. “Is that…for us?”

She nodded. “Guard!”

A burly, bearded man instantly appeared. “Your Majesty.”                

“Cut it for the gentleman, and we will enjoy it. But wait—he needs new clothing. Let’s get him something, first.” The guard did as she had ordered. Once I was bedecked in white robe and other gold and crimson red apparel, I had a crown placed on me. It was light but also pointy. But as I looked at the two crowns in a mirror, I didn’t see the threateningly sharpness of hers. Just a ring of silver and gold weaved together.  

I ran to the window. The guys were all out there, and one guy smiled. They all raised their soot-caked hands, and yelled, “No more hammers, anvils, swords or brick-laying. Bricks and we have divorced. Now we—”

But I couldn’t hear what he was saying, as they had all turned away. It dawned on me that they were free because I had helped them. I looked back at the queen.

“Come. Our wedding awaits. You want someone, too, right?”   

My tour guide from the Fantasies had once told me I couldn’t just coast through life. I had to make a decision. I returned to those steps. We stood opposite together on steps of white marble and held hands. As we said our promises, we looked at each other’s eyes. I clutched her hands, and she mine. Then she jumped into my arms—     

No, no she didn’t. We both exited, back to her throne room. I sat on my marble and stone throne and she in hers. Then, putting her head on my shoulder and arms around my shoulders, she said, “Those men aren't building my tower anymore. You're not trying to run away or challenge me or kill me. I'm not staring out the window anymore. Neither those men nor you is building my kingdom anymore.”

“Yes. And I have gained someone important, too. A new woman in my life.”  

That night, I went the tour guide to ask what he was going to do now that he wasn't, well, guiding me.

But he said, "You'll never know unless you try."