Richie Metzger was a skinny twenty-three-year-old man with an insatiable appetite that would end up getting him into trouble. His last job had ended when his manager popped in, only to find Richie eating on the clock. Richie turned around to see the balding, somewhat curvaceous man standing behind him, looking shocked, horrified, and slightly nauseous with an accusatory finger pointed right in Richie's face.
"If you think this is acceptable, you are absolutely crazy. Richie, I can't believe you'd do this!" The manager bellowed, and spittle flew from his mouth, settling as a repulsive mist on Richie's face. Who was he to judge me for eating on the clock? Richie thought. Richie tossed the rest of the uneaten snack in the trash.
"I was hungry," Richie replied with a shrug.
"Is that all you have to say for yourself?"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, what do you want me to say?" Richie asked, wiping the residue from his lips. Steven watched the action with a look of abject disgust.
"Get the hell out of here. You're banned from my store. If I ever see your bony little ass in here again, I'm calling the cops for trespassing." This time, Steven's finger was pointed to the front entrance. His round face was red as a bonfire, and Richie imagined that smoke would come out of his ears at any minute.
Even though it was Richie's first offense, he was terminated on the spot. He couldn't believe it. However, Richie would leave out an essential detail as he told his best friend Matt about the fateful day. He had been eating merchandise he hadn't paid for, and even worse, he worked at a pet store.
Richie had a propensity to find an appetite for things others would not have found palatable. It was an inclination that began in childhood. He started small initially, only stealing a bit of the turtle kibble. But soon, he would hide in his closet and eat it by the handful. His mother often wondered how the small turtle, Sunny, seemed to go through her food so fast. Richie would shrug, feigning an exasperation that mirrored his mother's frustration. He kept his guilty pleasure a secret, but it didn't end there.
One time at the park, he went into the public bathroom. While washing his hands, he noticed a fat black cricket sitting on the sink. Richie had picked up the struggling insect and put it in his mouth. It didn't stand a chance. It wasn't as good as the turtle food, but it would do in a pinch. It was crunchy with a soft nougat center. He chewed it up and swallowed, nodding at himself in the mirror.
"Not bad. Not bad at all," The thirteen-year-old Richie said. The strange, skinny teenager did a fantastic job of hiding his bad habit. He was so adept at his deception that even Matt, his childhood best friend, didn't know about his unsettling appetites. Mathew had a bearded dragon named Stanley. He never caught on, even though Stanley's mealworms would inexplicably disappear after Richie had been to visit. But now Richie had been caught red-handed.
Later that day, when Richie got home. He unlocked his apartment door, and his childhood friend, now his roommate, was lounging on the couch with a game controller.
"Howdy," Mathew said in his customary quirky greeting.
"Mathew, I have a problem," Richie said, diving right into his dilemma. "I got fired today."
"That's awful. What happened?"
"I got caught eating a snack at the register."
"That's it? Wow, that manager is a jerk. No write-up, just straight terminated? That's not right at all."
"I know, such a total prat. I've never been late or anything," Richie said again, shrugging in his characteristic way. Lying had become so easy for Richie. He had to participate in some kind of deception daily to hide his bad habits.
"The problem is I don't have my half of the rent."
"It's OK. I'll cover you this month. Just return the favor after you get a job. Oh, and I'm going out tonight with Meg. Would you mind feeding Asuka for me?" Matt said, motioning to the terrarium behind him.
Mathew didn't have the bearded dragon Stanley anymore, as Stanley had died a little over a year ago. He had since invested in a beautiful corn snake. It was an opal color that looked faded pastel pink. Asuka was quite large, and she was well-fed. Matt and Richie's mutual love of reptiles was a pillar of their friendship and a requisite to sublet a room in Matt's apartment. She was curled up in her terrarium against the wall, watching Richie with intense fuchsia eyes. At around five, Matt got ready and left the apartment to see Megan. After Matt went, Richie nosed in the freezer, looking for the frozen mice Asuka ate.
She typically ate three pink hairless baby mice every few days. Richie picked up a zip lock containing a few baby mice and dunked it into a warm bowl of water to thaw. He left the bag of rodents floating in the bowl, walked over to her tank, and reached in. Her coils tightened as she watched him. He picked up her water dish, brought it to the sink, rinsed it out, and filled it with fresh cold water, then replaced it. The snake was in its cave, now out of sight.
After a while, he checked on the pinkies. The baby mice weren't quite warm enough but were thawed. He put them in even hotter water and let them sit a bit longer. He was starting to feel a bit peckish. He went into his room, which was just off the kitchen. He rustled under his bed and found his secret stash. He usually kept turtle kibble and dried mealworms in a dark plastic box. He hadn't used the stash quite as often since landing the gig at the pet shop. He opened it, and to his disappointment, the small food bag was pretty empty. There were some mealworms, but they barely amounted to a handful.
He ate them and then rustled around in the fridge. He found the ingredients and made a bologna and cheese sandwich. He took two bites and then checked on the pinkies. They were warm enough now. He dried off the zip-lock bag and got the pair of tongs they used to feed the snake. He grasped the first pinkie and dangled it in front of the Asuka. Once enticed, she struck at the tongs and made a meal of the naked baby mouse. After she had swallowed the mouse, he offered her another, and again, she struck the tongs and devoured the mouse. He offered up the final mouse and waited, but this time, she refused.
"I guess you're full then." He said to the snake. There was a small lump in her abdomen where the baby mice were starting their journey to near-total assimilation, bathed in a stomach acid so strong not even their bones would survive. Being hairless, there would hardly be a trace of them. Since only hair, feathers, and claws survived a transit through a snake.
Reptiles were fascinating creatures that reminded him of himself. They were strange, cold-blooded, and didn't know how to modulate eye contact, qualities he thought he possessed in some form or another. He had studied zoology in college because he considered himself a reptile more than a person. He placed the pinkie in his palm and inspected it. Then chuckled, dropped the pinkie back into the zip-lock bag, and put it back into the freezer.
Richie would have to find a new supplier for his mealworms and kibble since he was banned from Steve's Petshop. The snacks weren't the only reason he liked working there. He enjoyed his reptiles and missed them as much as he, Richie, could miss anything. Maybe the change would be for the better. Maybe he was selling himself and his education short while working at the pet shop. That week, he perused wanted ads on job sites and found an opening for a zookeeper at Creature Cave, the reptile section of East Eden Zoo. He tried to put his application in, but when he came to the previous employer section, he hesitated over the question, "May we contact? Yes or No?"
Richie knew that any call to Steven would kill his chances of getting his dream job. He saved the application and exited without submitting it. Mathew was in his usual spot, chilling on the couch.
"I need a favor, Matt," Richie said, grinning sheepishly.
"What's up?" Matt responded.
"Well. I have found a job I really want, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Steven won't give me the most flattering review."
"Put my number down," Matt said.
"Are you sure?" Richie asked.
"Yeah, put it down. I can be Steven," Matt said.
"Thanks," Richie replied, disappearing back into his cave-like room. He continued the application and submitted it. He felt good about this job. Two days later, Matt told Richie he'd given a glowing recommendation to the East Eden Zoo's hiring manager. On the third day, Richie had his phone interview in the morning, and on the fourth day, he had an in-person interview at one o'clock in the afternoon. Richie felt pretty confident after the hiring manager reviewed his recommendation and his GPA from East Eden University.
"Why didn't you apply here sooner?" She asked.
"I don't know. I just really liked my reptiles. I hated to leave them. But it was finally time for a change and to get a little more use out of my degree," Richie responded. For most of the interview, he highlighted his grades and love for all reptiles. Those, at least, he didn't have to fake.
His low number of friends made his high GPA much more attainable. There were few distractions besides the occasional snack. The in-person interview went just as well, and he found himself donning a khaki shirt with the words Creature Cave by the end of the week. He caught on quickly and soon had a favorite snake, Bindi, a green tree python. When he applied for the position, Richie hadn't realized there were more than reptiles in the Creature Cave. He found himself walking past an exhibit that held a family of naked mole rats, another with bush babies, and, most importantly, a critically endangered Brush-tailed Bettong. The silly thing looked like a cat-sized rat. Richie didn't directly care for them, nor did he care about them. His one stipulation was that he didn't want to work with the mammals. Richie wanted the reptiles.
He was the last one finishing up for the night in the Creature Cave. He volunteered to be the one to close up at night. That way, he could spend more time with his reptiles. Bindi was nudging the glass, watching Richie. She told him with her eyes that she was still hungry. He felt inside his feeding pouch. He didn't have a single dead mouse or anything to feed her. Richie made a slow lap around the small but well-equipped Creature Cave. He was really alone, and there were no cameras. He stopped in front of the naked mole rat habitat. He eyed the bald, hideous creatures. There was no beauty to the cylindrical rodents. Their huge yellow incisors were appalling. Richie thought they were as endangered as they were beautiful, meaning they were numerous and ugly. If he were to take the keys out of his pocket and slip behind the habitat, he could take a few of them and give them to Bindi. They wouldn't be missed.
He gave the area one last look before slipping behind the cage and starting his work. He picked up two of the most rotund of the naked rodents, and before they could bite him, he gave each of them a quick dash against the metal door frame and dropped their lifeless bodies into his feeding bag. He locked the door and walked to the other side, where the beautiful bright green snake awaited her snack. He let himself into her habitat, and with feeding tongs, he offered her the lifeless but still optimally warm rodent corpse. She took it graciously; soon, it was a small lump in her long body. She refused the second-mole rat. He dropped the hideous and bloody rodent into his palm.
"It's a shame to waste this," he said, looking at the giant green snake. "It's getting cold." An idea popped into his head. He raised the naked, bloody head to his mouth and bit down with a crunch.
"Not bad, not bad at all," he said to his reflection in the exhibit glass, but he didn't stop there. He continued to eat the naked rat until he'd picked its little body clean, but he was still hungry. He hadn't eaten all day, and the raw rodent flesh only made him hunger for more. That's when he locked eyes with the Brush-tailed Bettong, a critically endangered species. No, he couldn't do it, he thought to himself. But when he saw the fear in its eyes and twitching in its little nose, he knew he would.
When Richie awoke in the morning, he walked into the living room; the news was on and covered a local story of interest. A female newscaster's bright, clear voice started the story.
"East Eden Zoo's most treasured and endangered mammal, a Brush-tailed Bettong, is missing this morning," the newswoman said.
"Wow, isn't that where you work?" Matt asked with a cup of coffee halfway to his lips.
"Oh, shit… that's, um, crazy," Richie said.
"Officials are asking for any information regarding the animal's whereabouts as illegal possession or injury of a critically endangered species is a serious crime punishable by up to one-year imprisonment and up to 50,000 dollars in civil penalties. Zoo staff have released a statement hoping for the pregnant female's safe return," The newscaster continued.
Luckily, Richie had a second uniform in his closet. He walked into his room and pushed the bloody Creature Cave uniform deeper into the recesses of his hamper. He got ready for work like nothing was wrong, even though the rodent's semi-eaten remains were in his trunk. He had yet to find a suitable way to dispose of them.
He walked into Creature Cave with a smile and began cleaning out Bindi's cage. The Fish and Wildlife Task Force was investigating the scene several meters away, as severe and suave as any other law enforcement branch. They took their investigations very seriously, and from what Richie could see, they suspected foul play. They had taped off half of the Creature Cave, and Officers were collecting evidence. He knew it was only a matter of time before he'd be found out. As he surveyed the scene, he locked eyes with a familiar face in the crowd. Those eyes were wide with shock and set in a round face that was a mask of horror. It was Steven.
Steven picked up his bewildered five-year-old daughter and ran toward the authorities. He had likely seen the newscast or at least heard about the disappearance of the beloved Bettong, and even worse, Steven had seen Richie's half-eaten snack, a fuzzy gray and fantastically tasty chinchilla, Bubbles, who also happened to be the store pet.
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