Light in the Dark

It was always dark here, but not solemnly so. Light was only for those who could ascend to its grace. We praised it as much as we feared it and at all costs kept our glowing creations humbly spread amongst the caverns of our world. Many were employed to ensure proper dispersion of lights to avoid angering the gods. Those who disobeyed and were caught were sentenced to the cells of eternal darkness, unworthy of any light. I had been down near the bottom cells before to visit my older brother and the echoes of screams and cries were enough to haunt me over lifetimes. My brother had been placed in a higher cell for the crime of keeping too many sources of light together at one time. He claimed to have been exploring outside of the city boundaries for clues on the next ascension and required a larger than normal collection of light to make the journey. The authorities were firm, though, and he was sentenced to six months imprisonment.

It was almost time to visit him again and anxiety was boiling up inside me at the thought of hearing the tormented souls deep beneath the main prison. A guard nodded stiffly and gestured to his colleagues to raise the gate. I nodded softly and entered, echoes of my feet pattering gently against the earthy ground beneath me travelled down the cave system. The sounds must have alerted my brother who promptly called out to me from his cell.

“How did you know it was me?” I asked, smiling at Tul through the metal bars.

“I’ve learned what the guards sound like,” he confirmed, triumphantly placing his hands on his hips, “How’s mum and dad?”

“Yeah, they’re okay. They can’t wait for you to come back home.”

His face twisted slightly. My anxiety heightened, “What?”

Quickly, he switched his expression to a forced smile, “Nothing. I’m glad they’re excited. I’m keen to leave this awful place too.”

I crossed my arms and pouted. A deep sigh escaped his lungs. He ambled around and finally leant on the rocky wall of his cell, “I might not go straight back home, Nim.”

With wide eyes, I demanded him to explain. He hushed me, fearing the guards would intervene.

“Listen, I was onto something amazing when I was out there. I only came back to restock on light so I could read the rest of the scripture,” his eyes were alive with the spirit of the universe itself.

“Scripture?” I repeated back.

“Yeah, I almost traced exactly when the next ascension would take place. But I found something more important than that.”

I scoffed quietly, “There’s nothing more important than that. Except maybe light itself.”

Tul smirked from the darkness, “You’re still young, Nim, you’ve much to learn about the world.”

“Seems like I’m in a better position to be learning than you are right now,” I pointed out. Tul chuckled with folded arms. I would have found it funny but something deep within told me he knew more than anyone else at this point.

“Well, I’ll tell you the coordinates but you’re not to tell any other living soul, okay?”

It was an odd deal, but Tul was known for that kind of thing. I searched his eyes for a trick of deception and found nothing, “Okay….”

In whispers, he told me exactly where he had discovered the scripture and detailed the path to take with a clever acronym. At first, I didn’t believe him at all. I thought the judges at his trial might have been right to claim he was psychologically unfit to function even if he was excused from breaking the law. Once the information was in my mind though, I couldn’t think of anything else. I wanted desperately to run to the scripture and finish his work. I knew it would take more light than what was allowed and I would run the risk of being sent back into the city perimeter if I was caught outside but Tul’s enthusiasm was contagious. He shrugged and returned to his scrappy mattress in the dark, “It’s up to you Nim, but I have a feeling someone as smart as you could figure it out…if you did decide to go. Don’t blame me if you end up in a cell though.”

The pain Tul’s arrest and sentence had caused my parents still lingered in my mind. Even I was affected by it. Tul was the smartest person I knew but his adventurous spirit seemed to outweigh his smarts. He studied hard and had gained a place as an apprentice in the castle before his journey beyond the border. Mum and dad were so proud of him, always happy to bring up his success in conversation and coupling me in as their “clever kids”. The arrest not only tormented them by taking their eldest away but by ruining their reputation too. I had to be extra careful since his arrest and ensure I kept quiet and out of the way for most things.

Tul’s secret knowledge kept him content even behind bars – I wanted that same energy. I had to know what he did, so I packed a small bag and left the house well before mum and dad were due to arrive home. It was hard to sneak past the perimeter guards, but I was so used to keeping quiet and unassuming that I was able to pass through unnoticed. I used Tul’s acronym to pass through a series of tunnels and eventually came to the secret entryway which was cleverly hidden behind a large boulder that appeared to be part of the wall. Soon enough, I found myself in a place unlike any other. It was a monstrously sized water cavern with a single ray of light striking down a living tree in the centre. I stepped across the stone walkway all the way to the centre and stopped before the lightray. I had never seen so much light in my life. I wondered for a moment if I had died somewhere back in the cave system and was dreaming in a state of unconsciousness. I lifted my shaky hand towards the light and allowed it to pass through. There was no wrath of angered gods, no curse for indulging in so much light and no authority to stop me. The light didn’t feel like anything except maybe a little warm. I hungered for more and decided to step fully into the light, bathing in its beauty and allowing the blessing of it enveloped my spirit.

A deep, dark churning suddenly began to boil inside of me. Everything we had been told about light, the way we had been taught to fear it, worship it and pay homage to those who were ascended by it was a lie.