You were Poison

You were Poison

 - inspired by Horus

"I love you.."

She pressed deeper into his arms, hardly believing she'd actually said it. All this time her love for him had festered and grown, waiting to escape, til now. Yet somehow she didn't feel sweet freedom, sweet release, telling him this. What if she'd said it too soon? Why should there be a time on love anyways? Her mind raced as she justified her confession to her constant audience; her self.

He hugged her tighter, held her closer, til she could feel his heart beat matching her own. His chest sank as a long breath escaped, breaking the silence. This was it. Whatever his next words were, could change everything. She dared to look up into his dark eyes and her soul swirled with joy. He was smiling.

She could feel her heart starting to dance. She broke away from him so she could join it. Then, just as the moonlight's music started to play grand, he spoke. Spinning to face him, full of light, she followed his hand gesturing for her to look. She watched as he grabbed the bulge of his sweatpants, shaking it with vigor. What? She looked to his face, questioning. And that's when he said it. That's when any hope of romance, any promises of future, should have been over.

With cock firm in hand, he looked her up and down and said, smiling wickedly, "Seems i love you too."

And that was the last time she heard the moon sing for them.

Moon song is a quiet thing. It's easier to not notice it than to hear it's splendor. So to say she didn't realize it's silence, was not much of a surprise. Looking back now, she can see how much she changed without its melodies. Without even knowing.

Next thing she knew, she was staring at her reflection in a tall elegant mirror. A bride to be. Trying on another cheap wedding dress rental. She loved the frills on its sleeves and the way it spun out as she twirled. She'd been planning the wedding and honeymoon nonstop since Christmas. That was 3 weeks ago. In another 2 weeks she'd be married.

Every time she thought of it, she could see his smile. She hated his smile. It hid a darkness of lust and power over her. How can you hate something that's smiling so "kindly"? No one would believe her if she told them the truth of it. He was perfect to all of them, while an enslaver to her. She can't count the times he asked her to hate herself, until she almost did. So why is she marrying him, you ask? Because she is so alone and he breaks that loneliness.

She doesn't know how she's come to be such a forgotten, lonely, child. Her family has been her everything for as long as she can remember. She's watched as years go by and one by one they stop calling her. Even her mother, brother and cousin, whom she trusted and cared for the most. They are too focused on their own lives to care what happens to hers. She's tried everything to keep them close, but time laughs at her attempts. Now she alone, stands to write the sad tale of what its all become. Nothing.

She's standing now at the alter, "i do". They dance, they laugh, a merry ceremony.

She's standing now in the small kitchen of their first place together, the lil Cabin. Pictures adorn the walls, memories and keepsakes line the shelves. Things are ok.

She's laying now on the old couch they were given. The sun rises then falls, casting shadows across the room. Days pass and nights pass, but for her they're all the same.

She's there, she's there and nothings happening. Only his constant beckoning for sex. That's all she is to him. He's made that very clear.

Sex hurts and she hates it. There's no passion, no care. He pushes her to the bed. She is unable to move, unable to escape. He accuses her of hating him if she doesn't do what he asks. And so she's laying now, in pain and unable to breath. His hot, fast breaths mocking her as she holds back tears. This is what she's become, nothing. And for the first time in her life, she hates herself.

A year goes by and then some. Seasons change, but her prison is the same. She doesn't cry anymore. She doesn't sing. She has become as morose as a bird with clipped wings. There are no joys, there is no life. She's gardened and cleaned, cooked and prepared. Fulfilling his demands and ignoring her own. She stood in the yard, letting out the dogs, staring at the moon. So cold and distant. So quiet this night. She wonders if it's always been this quiet at night.

She goes back inside the house. He sits in his fancy chair, unaware of her. She asks him if he's coming to bed soon. His response is silence, it always is. A constant reminder she is not important enough for him to talk to. She approaches him, he's immediately annoyed. She turns to the bedroom and dares to curl up with her dog on the bed. If he ever knew she had the dog on the bed, he'd tear her down in seconds and forbid this, her last comfort. She lies awake. He didn't come to bed that night.

She knew it was over, even if he refused to believe it. How could she stay any longer? There was nothing for her here, and nothing he claimed or promised could change that fact. Scooping up her dog, she walks out the front door of her home. Leaving all she and him had made together. She looked him in the eyes one last time before she left. There was no heartbreak in her soul, that pain had already come and broken her and gone. The last words she could find to utter to this monster who had killed her?

"Horus,

I really do love you."