Write Rite- a Mitzee story

TW-Mentions death of a child

Dear Diary

My name is Sarah and I’m eight years old. I have gotten this butiful book from Mummy to rite in. She says I can rite all my wurries and wishes in it.

Well, I wish that canser didn’t exzist! Tomorrow the doctar is gonna take away my eye, bekoz there’s a lump and it’s hurting my eye. I’m gonna be a pirate.

I’m scarred :(

But if I’m reel brave, Mummy said I can get a kitten.

:) Sarah🙂

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Dear Diary

Its been a long time since I rote in here.

I feeled reely bad when I woked up from the opperatshun. I had a headake when I woked up but the nurses gave me lots of medersin. It wasn’t nice and it made me me feel funny. 

I still have the bandiges on my head and I can’t see out of my eye, bekoz there is no eye there no more. My friends from school came to visit me today and they said I was not missing much at school. They brung me a card from everyone in my class. They all writ there names on it and Jade gave it to me. Jade is my bestest friend. We’ve been friends like forever and she lives two streets from my house.

I’m gonna go home soon. I miss my bedroom. Mummy said I can paint it whatever colour I want. I’m gonna paint it purple.

:) Sarah🙂

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Dear Diary

I looked at my face today. The nurse tooked the bandiges off and I saw my face in the mirror. It’s all red and puffy. I’m a freek!

:( Sarah🙁

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Dear Diary

Mummy says that I should rite in here every day. She says that the rootine of riting will help me feel better. I don’t think so, but I made her the promis so I will. She says it is good for me to rite becoz I’m not going to school and this will help me keep up with everyone. There is school here in hostbital and the teacher is reel nice, but she’s not Miss Cassidy. I just want to go to my school and see my frends.

:(. Sarah😢

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Dear Diary

Write, write, write. That’s what the teacher Mrs Jacobs said I had to do. I’m not a good speller and she said if I find a word I don’t spell rite to write it lots of times rite. Oh-right. Why is there a ‘g’ in there? Right, right, right. Mrs Jacobs is not as nice as Miss Cassidy. 

TIL (that’s what Mrs Jacobs said to write at the end of the day so that we can remember what it was we learned.) Today I learned that there are lots of ways to spell the same word. They are called Homa-fones.

Write, right and rite are homa-fones. Write means to write. Right means your right and rite means like a ritual or going to church. Mum says I should write my feelings down, make it like a rite. Did I get that right? :D

So this diary is my write-right-rite.

:/ Sarah😕

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Dear Diary

I’m so exksited exsited. I’m going home today. The doctar said I’m all better. I’m just waiting now for the papers to work. All my bags are packed and I’m dressed in my nicest pink clothes. I still have the bandiges on but that’s ok. Mummy brushed my hair and put it in a nice pink bow to match my pink tutu. I’m like Barbie in ‘Barbie and the Pink Shoes’. 

I told Mummy that we need to go to the cat home first. She promised me a kitten and Mummy said “ok”. I didn’t really believe her when she said we could though. I hope she keeps her promise. I kept my promise. I have writed in his diary every day, well ekxsept exsept for the days I was not well enuff. But surely that is ok. I don’t even remember those days much exsept for feeling funny.

:) Sarah 😄

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Dear Diary

We got a cat! The bestest cat there ever was! He is black and white with one white paw and three black ones. His name is Mitzee and he only has one eye, just like me!

We went to the Cat Shelter on the way home from the hostbital just like Mummy said we would. I walked in and around all the cages. There was so many cats. Who knew that there was that many? They were all sooooo butiful that I wanted all of them. 

But when I saw Mitzee I just knew he was mine. He was cross and sad and he had only one eye and he growled at everyone. The people there said he had only just had sergury to take his eye out and was still healing and getting used to it. Just like me. I knowed then that he was mine and I was going to have him.

When we had cuddles, he purred at me like he knowed I was his too.

He is sitting on my bed now, just looking at me. I think he is smiling.

I love Mitzee.

:))) Sarah 😍

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Dear Diary

Today Mitzee and I played Pirates. We are good at being pirates becoz we only have one eye. It was the first time Mitzee had been outside with me. Mitzee walked the plank. I thort he would be stuck in the tree and I was wurried but he jumped to the ground ok. 

When we finished I just lied in the sun. It was so warm and Mitzee lied there too. He likes me and he likes playing with me, which is good, becos Jade hasn’t come over very much anymore. I think she is busy being friends with Ava, so she can’t be my friend. It’s ok becos I have Mitzee. He loves me more than anything.

<3 Sarah ❤️

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Dear Diary

Mitzee’s gone! I can’t stop crying. Today when we played Pirates he climbed the fence and walked the plank along the top but he jumped down the wrong side! I called and called, but Mitzee didn’t come back. It’s nite time and it’s dark and Mitzee is out there somewhere and he’s alone and scarred and he only has one eye. What if he’s lost? What if the bad cats find him? What if he gets runned over? I just can’t write anymore, I’m soooo upset. My heart is broken.

:’( Sarah 😢

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Dear Diary 

Daddy said that we can get a real tree this year for Christmas and we can decorate it just like all the trees in the movies. He’s going out to get it now. He asked me to come but I don’t want to leave the house just in case Mitzee comes home. I know Daddy doesn’t believe that Mitzee will come back. I know he thinks Mitzee is dead, I seen him looking at Mummy the way that grown ups do when they think that us kids are wrong, but they don’t want to tell us that we are wrong. Well their wrong! I know Mitzee will come back. I just know it! Mitzee loves me.

He does!

🥺 Sarah

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Dear Diary

I’m just so happy!

When Daddy brung in the tree, Mitzee came back! He is crawling threw the branches now. He is so cute with his little back and white face peeking out of the branches. He looks like a orna orni decoratshon.

We are decorating the tree tonight, but I bet Mitzee won’t be able to stop playing with them. Mummy said “We better only put on the ones that won’t brake.” I think Mitzee woold brake so many of the glass ones. He’s soooo nourty and I love him! I think I mite have to squish him! He got lots of squishes and kisses when he came back. Mummy said that if I keep squishing him, he mite run away again, but I don’t think so. He knows I love him.

🥰 Sarah

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Dear Diary 

Mitzee got presents from Santa. Well, I told him they were from Santa, but really they were from me. He liked the catnip ball, it made him go funny. But his favrite is the bird. It’s a feather on a string with a wand and I swing it round and he chases it. We like playing together.

I didn’t see Jade this Christmas. Her present is still under the tree.

I got lots of good presents this year. I got drawing stuff and makeup. But the best thing is the new eye! We went to the man who makes them and he made me a eye that goes inside where there isn’t one. He said he woold paint it to look like my other eye, and he did a real good job, becoz when it’s in, my eyes look the same.

When I grow up, I want to be the person who paints eyes on fake eyes. I’m gonna practise my art every day and get good.

🎄Sarah

******

Dear Diary 

It has been a long time since I wrote here. I did promise to write every day, but I forgot. 

It’s my birthday and I’m turning nine. I had a party at roller skating. It was fun at first. All the kids in my class came and they had fun. I did too. Sort of at the beginning.

Well, the music was loud and it hurt my head. Then Robby crashed into me because he was on my blind side and I fell over. I didn’t notice that my eye fell out until Niamh said that my eye looked funny. By then it was too late. My eye was broken on the floor. Mum had an eye patch to cover my eye until we can get a new one, but everyone kept looking at me funny. It’s not fun to be a pirate for real because other children don’t like pirates. Jade didn’t even talk to me after it happened and most of the other children didn’t either. I hate feeling different.

I am sitting on my bed now with the one person who knows what it’s like to feel like a pirate, and he’s not even a person, he’s a cat. Mitzee understands me. He never makes me feel sad. He just curls up with me and purrs. I like patting his soft fur.

I love Mitzee.

Sarah

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Dear Diary

The headaches are bad. They haven’t gone away. 

Mitzee knows. 

I haven’t told mum.

Sarah

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Dear Diary

I’m going for scans today. Mum noticed I’m not myself and she took me to the doctor. They said I need to get checked out. Scans are not fun. I wish I could take Mitzee with me. He helps me feel brave.

Sarah 

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Dear Diary

I wish cancer didn’t exist.

The cancer is back and it’s not good. The scans showed that something was growing inside my head. Mum is really worried and I am too. I might have to have an opperashon operation to get it out. They are talking about it now and I am sitting here while they talk about me. I wish I didn’t have to know about it. But my headaches are getting bad. They have me on medicashun medication but it makes me sleepy. It’s hard to think. But writing helps me to sort out my thinking and remember what I was thinking.

I’m scared.

Sarah

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Dear Diary

The doctors want me to have chemo to shrink the tumour. It’s not nice. They put a line in and the chemo goes in there. I just sit here while it happens and it’s lucky I have a diary to write in or I would be board.

I’m also practising my drawing. I have drawn lots of eyes all in the margins of my book. I’m going to be the best eye-drawer ever and then I can make fake eyes for people who lose them.

Sarah👁️👁️👀👁️👁️

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Dear Diary

I’m at home. I don’t feel too well. I have vomited so much my throat hurts. Mitzee doesn’t mind, he just curls up on my bed. He purrs to make me feel better.

I don’t know why the doctors said that I couldn’t have surgery, something about where the tumour in my head was. They hoped it would shrink away from the important part, but it didn’t. 

TIL what palliative care is. It’s when there’s nothing left to do and the doctors say they can’t help anymore.

I think it’s better to be in my own room. I like the purple walls better than the hospital walls and Mitzee is here. I can’t have Mitzee in the hospital. I would rather be home.

The nurses come every day to help Mum care for me. I’m too tired to get up and out of bed by myself. They help me get clean, make sure I have my medicine and check up on me.

Today Father Greg came by. Mum cried the whole time Fr Greg was here. He put oil on my head and hands gave me communion for the first time and prayed with me. I asked him why and he said it was an ‘Anointing of the Sick’. Mum called it the Last Rites. I asked Fr Greg if I was dying, and he said he couldn’t say but that Jesus used to anoint sick people and he healed them, so he anointed me and asked if Jesus would like to make me to feel better. 

It would be nice to feel better. 

Sarah

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Dear Diary

I don’t think the anointing worked.

I’m too tired.

Mitzee is here.

I hope someone will love Mitzee. He’s a good cat. He never leaves me alone.

I love you Mitzee.

Sarah