My Silent Nightmare

”Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.” Head pressed heavily against the freezing hardwood floor, I heard the calming voice of my mother as she tried to calm me down. I tried to ignore the curious eyes that beat down on me as my mother tried to coax me away. I kept my head firmly placed on the ground with my hands threaded together behind my neck. I feel my mother’s shallow breath on my neck as he leaned in to whisper in my ear. ”Come on sweetie, let's go home.” I felt her fingers gently prod at my hand to clasp it in her own to lead me out of the assembly hall and this nightmare.

”Just thirty more seconds. That's all I need.” I thought desperately. I took several deep breaths before surrendering my hand to hers. keeping my eyes clamped shut, I stood and followed the tug of my hand. I chanced a look back, and what I saw knocked the wind out of me. The audience, the orchestra, the rest of the choir, were all staring at me... they had stopped the entire performance because of me. I felt my self start to faint, but I pulled myself together and ripped my gaze from them. And slipped through the the doorway. My mother and I were silent the entire way to the car. I collapsed on the seat tired and distraught as silent sobs racked my body. ”Don’t worry, honey, everyone understood. It wasn't your fault. Let's order some pizza when we get home, okay?” Mother tried to comfort me gauging my reaction through the driving mirror. I turned my face towards my seat as tears blurred my vision.

We finally reached the house I ran inside and slammed the door to my room and crawled under my blanket. I jumped at a knock at my door, my mother entered. I heard her slippers scuff gently against the carpet as she approached to sit with me on my bed. ”Talk to me, what happened up there?” She said.

I sniffled and stuck my head out from under the covers. ”I couldn't breathe.” I squeezed my eyes shut as I relived the memory. My mom scooped me up in her arms as my breathing became more and more labored.

”Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...” she quietly lulled me to sleep, as I fought to forget.