I felt as if the cimmerian sky had also had a bad day just like me, to the point they started crying which upset me to the point of tears. I was a crybaby and nothing but a sensitive brat as pa would say and it was quite exhausting. Because of this, I had cried myself to sleep and forgot about the whole reason I was having a bad day. It was, moving day and like always I had to say goodbye to my long-time friends.
Saying goodbye was hard because I never knew if I would see them again and it felt as if the two-hour distance was a world away. As time went by I slowly drifted off and for a moment forgot about the crying clouds.
“Oh come now dear,” ma called, as she waited for me by the door of our new home.
“Coming ma,” I replied, wiping my tired eyes as I made my way to her, wondering how long I had been asleep for us to already be here. Ma helped me to my room that was so much bigger than my last one.
“Cool,” I whispered as ma, giggled behind me, I started to play the trucks that were left for me as I silently watched. I didn't mind ma watching but I rather prefer her to play but I knew her answer. “Sorry sweetie but your father will be back soon.” is what she'd say. It was very odd because it was not like pa would play with me and I didn’t have any friends yet either and the thought of playing alone became sad in my mind, I started crying and had no intention to stop like ma, asked me too until she ran and closed the door at the sound of the doorbell.
That must be pa, I frowned, wishing he was still taking his time getting the things he needed from the car. Then it began, the arguing that they had decided to resume after leaving it in the car when they thought I was asleep. Why does he have to do this now, I thought. Just a moment ago we were happy but I guess good things never last.
When pa came in he gave me the same look of disgust that had been building up since the time we left, but I didn't mind because pa still loved me enough to buy me some new toys like he promised. That was enough for a kid like me who was barely spoiled like my cousins.
“Come here Jett,” ma called, I hoped to ma on my way there and was presented with a map.
“Why a map ma?” I asked, hoping for an exciting answer.
“It's a treasure map, that leads to a big sword that pa, had used,” ma replied, as my eyes lit up in joy ma whispered to me that after I find it I must take it to a nice police man who will deliver it to pa.
“You have to find the sword for me and pa,” she demanded, with a brittle voice. I nodded in agreement and ran out the back door making sure I followed the map carefully.
It didn’t take me long to find the lake near the treasure but I was quite surprised when I saw someone was already there, a kid like me.
“Hel-hello,” I blurted, waiting for a response from the kid up in the tree“what's that on your head?” I asked, quite curious as to what the big ball on her head that even covered her eyes.
“It's called an afro silly,” she giggled, “and what's wrong with your eye?”
“Oh, it's called heterochromia,” I eagerly replied, her eyes lit up with wonder as she sweetly asked me questions about it. Her name was Antheia, a fitting one for a girl with nothing but leaves and daisy stuck in her hair.
It wasn't long before Antheia decided to join me for the hunt for my pa's treasure that was still hidden. As we hunted for the sword Antheia marked where we were so we could find our way back. She knew a lot about nature, more than any kid or adult I knew, and would go on and on about how pretty lilies are.
Before we knew it night fell and we still had not found the sword, like ma asked me to. At this point, I felt as if it was hopeless and began crying for breaking my promise to ma.
“I'm sorry ma, pa,” I wailed with a snot-filled nose, why can’t I find some stupid sword, I thought.
“Why are you crying?” Antheia asked, petting me as I cried into her shoulder.
“Because I want to keep my promise to ma, and pa would be mad at me if I stayed out here all night just to not return,” I replied, rubbing my tear-filled eyes.
“But Jett why does that matter?” she asked, I gave her a confused look and she began to explain. “If your ma and pa really love you would it matter if you came back empty-handed?” she asked, I gave her a shake of my head and really thought about what she said. Ma and pa love me no matter what but I still want to find the sword, I thought as I stood up with a proud and determined face.
For the next twenty-five minutes, we searched the woods high and low in the area in and around the sword's location, but still no sword. This time I had really given up but I wasn't going to cry like I usually do, because I had Antheia. As we headed back down the mountain empty-handed, me and Antheia made a promise to come here every day and search for other lost treasures, and it wasn't sealed with a kiss like the older kids did it, no it was a sealed handshake full of lily petals.
For the next few years, we kept our promise and it wasn't till later I learned that pa had his sword all along and just needed me out of the house to duel ma.
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1 comment
I think your story is really good. The theme of growing up and learning to deal with the hard things life throws your way resonates. A couple of things I would look at. When using Ma as a name (ie not my ma but when addressing her) it should be capitalized. And I would check comma usage and run on sentences. It’s a interesting story with a lot of potential. Keep on writing.
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