AN UNFRIENDLY FRIEND

AN UNFRIENDLY FRIEND

It was 2015 when I moved to an international school. Yes, all of us know there would be a lot of cultural differences a child studying in 5th standard to suddenly move from a CBSE school to an international school have to face. All of it happened to me too, being a guy who does not care about technology, fashion, and other overrated things followed by the international culture followed by my country people.

The first day of my new school was a total disaster where I didn’t engage myself with the whole class  or show myself to my classmates, but I didn’t want to do that so because I am a lonely person and I am proud to say that so, even though I was pretty much amicable with my old school friends because I was good at the language they speak, I survived in the language part luckily! ! in my old school. It was the first time I felt lonely in the class during the first few weeks because I didn’t have any of my classmates sitting next to me. During the classes I was half time dreaming about supernatural things which I wanted to happen to me like getting time travel machine, teleporter, voyaging the world. The funniest thing I was dreaming of was meeting up celebrities and talking with them. Most of my dreams were about me getting popular over my friends and my family members. All of you would agree about those dreams because the mindset of the people living in my age which was 12 is to get popular among peers and stand up above them. At the start of my new school, say like two months I did not know why nobody is accepting me even though I scored good grades in my academics. The next month, I found that it was my appearances during the class and other overrated stuff followed by them which I had not followed. Mostly those would be the reasons why I didn’t befriend them and they didn’t find me cool to get in their gang.

 So, I tried to change my mind and had started mingling with them by doing the stuff they like to do such as listening to music they like and sharing the food which they like to eat from my lunch. It’s obvious for you guys to react to my idea of mingling with them. But I was not an intellect at that point of my age and it was the only thing I could do to make my friends that I am like them. Yes, it was all good till when I do good things to them and they be nice to me after then they do not care  about me later in the class. It was that they were only utilizing me till their joy time being with me, it is that they treat me like their servants and my reward or my salary was just having some joy time with them. After a year I felt that I was being utilized by them when my parents had first told me . My sixth standard holiday went to me didn’t think about it and spending my days procrastinating for my holiday homework.

 Yes, I am continuing this school for the next year too. Well I had no choice, my parents told things are going to change over a year and people are going to change. Yes, they had changed and I found my new friends too. As there was shuffling of students this year, I had got a chance to connect with the people who studied with me during the second language class too. They belonged to my state so that I could connect them with the state language and know them better. I had found a new angel who came into my life which was my physics teacher also my class teacher, till now I have never seen a physics teacher as good as her. As my parents said, things moved on I got the support from my friends to dominate the other guys in my class. four friends of mine made my 7th standard more comfortable. This year had gone by me studying furiously to get good grades and didn’t think about anything else because if I had to maintain a steady relationship with them, I got to prove myself me studying and showing good grades was the only thing for me to show off in my class. I got good grades in my annual examination. Holiday started by me doing the same thing that I did in the 6th standard holidays.

 There is nothing much to tell about my 8th standard, all of my teachers had changed. My section had the worst set of teachers, they didn’t teach me really well. But still I scored good grades in the first half of my 8th grade. In September, I was brought into this game called chess by my only friend by drawing a match against him. I got so happy because he was the only good chess player in our school. I thought I could start playing chess as a hobby. This was where his first evil thinking had started, he started triggering me by playing chess matches and eventually I won them because I had started going to a chess class near my house. So, the next half of my 8th standard went by playing a lot of chess and I even started buying chess books for practising chess problem. This affected my academics, but I didn’t worry about this because of the chess craze he had implanted in my mind. During this time, my other friends did not support me doing this and started disgracing me including my friend who got me into chess. I didn’t care about any of them and I became an international chess player with rating. It was the annual exam, the only month I studied but couldn’t score good grades but I passed. During the holidays I was fully into chess didn’t care about anything.

 After the holidays were over, I am in my 9th standard classroom and all my friends were in the other section. This scenario was the same scenario when I was in 6th standard. But this time I had no options so I started making friends with my 6th-grade friends, they surprisingly accepted me as their friends. Chess was also there; I was participating in tournaments and I could see him triggering me, again and again, saying that “you are not a good player”; “first study for your future”. I didn’t score good grades in my 9th grade too because of chess. The year was full of me playing chess.

During the holidays, I realized upon what my friend telling and my family members telling. Yes, I gave up on my chess career and somehow let my parents to let me participating in only 2 tournaments during those holidays and pack it up. It was not as tough as what I thought because I started playing chess very late as many children nowadays had started playing chess when they were even three-year-old. There was a lot of competition when I started playing chess, many small children played better games than me. But these reasons didn’t stop me because I thought I can achieve in chess. The only reason for me to stop was that I had received constant advice from my family members and friends. A real player or an aspirer should not do these but I did them understanding my family situation and to not let anyone in my school treat like shit because of my lower grades. The main problem for children living in India was there is no option for them to follow your passion, but some of them can follow their dream only because their parents are financially stable and they have their school and people around them to support.

When I had stepped into 10th grade I didn’t feel much dejected, I started 10th grade with the mindset that “I will spend these days studying and getting good grades in my class test”. Yes, all of it happened but there must be a whip hand for me to do this. It was done by a physics teacher but this time it was a new teacher who had joined the school this year. She didn’t know my past experiences in studies, maybe that would the reason why she treated me like anyone else. The first time I had got interested in the subject was I answered a tough question which made mam calling me an “intelligent boy”. I got really surprised by what she had told. I was thinking about it the whole day, I asked myself why not I venture my mind for physics. When I started developing my passion for physics, I developed it for science and maths too. I started reading 11th and 12th standard physics sometimes even college physics too. It was the same craze which I had for playing chess two years back and now I am having it for physics too. This time when I started speaking technical stuff to my friends they were amazed, jealous, surprised, and liked me first. The friend who had introduced me to the game of chess was also good at his academics even he supported me.

But later after that when people got to know I was not good at history & civics and geography, people had forgotten about how hard was it for me to develop my passion for physics even though they know the pain I had during my transition period from “chess” to “physics”. They had found that 1% inability from my 99% of their abilities and start yelling at my inability actually it was not my inability it was the driving craze which made me to concentrate only on science subjects and not the others. Well, I could actually do it if I had put some effort into it. But because of those peoples yelling at me “it is also part of your 10th standard”; “you will fail in 10th standard if you did not read those subjects” made me create hatred towards those subjects. If someone had told me that “you could also score good grades in those subjects too” I could have changed my attitude over those subjects. But why do they have to say that to me for my improvement. The same fitting reply I have for them is why do they have to care about me.

At the end of the 10th standard, I thought I had to score good marks in my board exams and I worked hard by reading the other subjects too. It was easy it was not as hard as what I thought, it is basically a lot of theory. The second preparatory exam which my school had conducted I got 85% in both history & civics and geography. I was pretty sure that I could score it in my board exams too. Yes, it happened the same way in the board exams too. I got 90% in geography and 87% in my history & civics exam. I successfully passed 10th standard with 92%, my parents were really happy about it even I was happy on that day too, who else will not be happy looking upon my journey I thought I was going in a right path and felt happy about it. I should actually be weeping about how I had stopped myself from pursuing a dream, but it is not a story for things to happen the way it has to happen for keeping myself achieving it. Sometimes it happens the way we wanted it to happen or it can also happen the reverse way. Life should always accept this bitter joke. Once said by Tao that “DREAM AND PLAN, IT IS NOT WRONG BUT ALWAYS MAKE YOUR MIND READY TO ACCEPT WHAT HAPPENS” that quote stuck on my mind which pacified me from the anger of not continuing my passion. That day I realized upon myself that it would be better if I had to rotate the same way that earth rotates.

Finally, I am revealing my best friend during this moment, but he was always been my worst friend throughout the journey. It is none other than the “SOCIETY”, it had sculpted me very well, had called it a day for my dreams and passion over these years. It had let me call it an unlikely friendship because, when I was in the “DO OR DIE” situation it had really helped me to travel on a successful path. Well if I had followed my passion very sincerely without listening to what others say, I could be successful even in that but the age I took it was a matter of consideration. I am neither like my friend nor hate him.

The really important friend whom I have to thank is the guy who got me into chess, because of him introducing me to chess I got good at the logic for solving maths and doing computer programs. Even though he demotivated me a lot only because of him and my other friend I was able to find a passion. I am still continuing chess as a hobby in my life.

Thanks a lot, guys,

From

 Y. Sai Dhakshan