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Friendship Funny Holiday


              “I swear!” I said sobbing as they came to closer to me, “It wasn’t me! It wasn’t me! Please!” My voice cutting out as they backed me into a corner. My shoulders slammed into the wall as the air was forced from my lungs.


They wouldn’t listen. A boy came forward, dressed in red, something sharp glittering in his hand, the girl next to him clutched a shining platter that held the damning evidence of my supposed crimes.


A different boy, this one dressed head to toe in black, raised his fist.



 “She is guilty! She must be punished for the full severity of her transgressions!” Those with him roared in agreement. Condemning me for something I hadn’t done, preparing to hand down my sentence like it was the will of the heavens.

A happy Christmas tree stood abandoned in the corner, a forgotten reminder of when everything was happier. Before my world felt like it was ending.



 “Look at her eyes,” the boy in black jabbed a finger at me,

“she doesn’t even feel remorse for what she’s done!”



“Hayden please,” I whispered brokenly to the one I once called a friend.

              “I’m sorry Cali, but the people have spoken,” he shook his head sadly, “you know what happens to traitors.”

I’m not, I’m not, I would never do what they were accusing me of, if only they would listen, if only I could remind them of everything, they knew about me, of everything we’d been through together.


Hayden lifted the gavel that had been proffered to him.


“I, Hayden Blackwell of house blue, herby sentence California Evens Talia, of house green, with the full power of those who stand with me, I condemn you with our most ancient laws, and harshest trials of hardship!”


I put one hand out, stopping the gavel before it could be brought down.

              “STOP!” I shouted desperately, “I can prove it!”


“She lies!” One of the assembled cried.


“No,” I try again, “How can none of you trust me? How can none of you remember?”



“Remember what?” Hayden questioned suspiciously.



“Don’t listen!” The person yelled again, “She’s only trying to delay her purgatory!”



“But I’m not!” I frantically gesture towards the white platter. “Please! that was the pizza with olives! I’m allergic remember? It couldn’t possibly be me! I would literally be dead if I ate it!”



I looked accusingly around the circle of people gathered, my supposed best friends who were all ready to blame me for something one of them had done! Not even taking a second to think about the fact that I would actually die, if I was the one that ate their precious, limited-edtion-once-every-five-years-christmas-time-gold-crust-three-feet-long-joe’s-ultimate-pizza.

Idiots.


My best friend Amber lowered her head sheepishly, fiddling with the sleeves of her lavender sweater, muttering angrily to herself.


Uh yeah, I thought, my best friend had better feel guilty, how could she not remember my allergies?


The five teens around me dopped their heads and stepped back, but this wasn’t over. Oh no, there would be some payback in the extremely near future, but I would work more on that later. For now, I just made sure I would remember all of their faces when they were accusing me. It would fuel my thirst for vengeance later on.


Though for now, we needed to figure out who had actually eaten the stupid pizza. Not that much figuring out needed to be done.

Still standing in the middle of Hayden’s living room; everyone had started arguing about who could have done it, you would think they were playing their dumb ‘Among us Game’ with how seriously they were taking this. As if they were deciding who would be thrown out of the ship on grounds of suspicion.



I’d always hated that game, they always killed me first, because they said I was too “happy sounding”, which was the dumbest reason ever.


I rolled my eyes as my arguing friends talked in circles. Accusing each other, exonerating themselves, making excuses for people that had been with them at the time of the crime.



“You guys are all idiots,” I raised an eyebrow. Frank and Hayden were getting ready to fight Teresia, and Lavender and Wilden were practically screaming at each other.

They all stopped when I spoke.


“What do you mean?” Wilden asked defensively. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I wondered how such a group of idiots could be my friends. 


I led them to kitchen and gestured around the space, which was currently devoid of their beloved pizza.


“Ok, so there is no way that whoever took it, was able to eat an entire, two feet long pizza, by themselves. So, they took the entire box, and the pizza cutter too.”



They all huddled around me as I leaned down to pick something up, the culprit had dropped something in their haste to get away with pilfered goods.


I triumphantly held a gray iPhone with the symbol of the Sith on it, aloft in the air. I whirled to look at Wilden in his disgustingly bright red sweater, I could see the sharp edge of the glittering pizza cutter in his back pocket. I held out his phone to him and smirked.



 “Red sus though.”


Everyone around me ‘ooooh’d’, making ‘drop the mike’ gestures. Wilden hung his head in defeat, and led us back the living room.


Pointing to the decorated Christmas tree, crammed in the back under a few presents, was the missing pizza box.



Everyone celebrated wildly, eating the much-vaunted food with a reverence rarely shown by humans. Wilden was banned from gaming nights for the next two months. He sat miserably on the couch next to me, sulking as he ate his plain cheese pizza and celery sticks from little Caesar’s. I would smile mockingly whenever he looked up and laugh as I happily thought about the revenge that I still owed everyone. Oh, they would never see it coming. This was going to be fun. 




December 05, 2020 01:29

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