Going Under

The rain pummelled down, cold and dark that night, Eilleen held her breath as she waited for her husband to leave to go to work. Patrick Escoban went to the post office to work the night shift as a desk security, he grundged while he grabbed his bag lunch and coat, going to the old Buick outside in front of their small bungalow. Eilleen watched him from the window, her eye still sore and bruised from his beating the night before. She winced in pain - not afraid anymore. "I am never going to let you do this to me again." She said to the window, as his car drove off into the wet night. "I have friends now, and I know what I have to do." She had to conince herself now, more than anything, her broken and bruised body too tired to argue, Patrick had been abusive to her for a long time, since after they got married, he started drinking, and then the rage.....he didnt even an excuse anymore. At first, he would hit her for stupid things, but then, for nothing at all that mattered. Eilleen had shut herself down, and then one day, she met a woman at a private group for battered women. She hadnt intended on going to the meetings, but one day, she just went. The women there looked normal, just like her, she sat and listened to their stories, but didnt want to relate to them, she was in denial.

But then, after several 'secret" meetings, she met a woman, Blackie she called herself.

"Look, I can help you honey, but you have to be willing, you got it bad, you need to get away before he kills you and your daughter." Blackie told her, after she had gone there with more bruises. Patrick had been in a mood a few nights before, and she had to go to emerg to have some stiches in her eye. She still hadnt pressed charges, maybe she still loved him and hoped for change. Hmph, change, what would happen in the long run, she will die, painfully, in her house while her daughter would watch, she knew that, perhaps she didnt care anymore. The darkness engulfed around her stayed like a cloud of leeches, holding onto her soul, clutchiing and crowding her all the time.

"I got your new identity here, and I have your new address, and some money from our underground fund, go, get some peace in your new life, but you must never, ever have any communication with anyone, not even family." Blackie was strict, scared, if she got caught the feds would lock her up. What she was doing was illegal. But she helped a few women already escape their abusers, if only to give them some peace, but it took the women to believe they deserved it, not the torment they endured and suffered each day. Blackie had almost died too, every bone in her body broken, and lay in a hospital bed with a priest administering her last rites of life.

"I just dont know if I can do this, and Katie, she is only 5 years old, what do I tell her?" But they had the plan all laid out, daddy was killed in a car crash, they had to move since they couldnt afford the house.

"Mommy, what about nana? Will she come to?" Katie asked, her eyes wide with uncertainty as Eilleen told her to grab her stuff in the middle of the night. She was going to be picked up and taken to their new home, a two day drive to another state. "Not right now honey bears, nana will come as soon as she can, but you cant tell anyone right now, this is our little adventure ok?" Like let's pretend to go hide n' seek, except this is for real, they had new names, new passports, new bank accounts, the works. And as promised, a man met her in an abandoned parking lot and held the door open of his car. The rain had finally stopped, leaving puddles and wet ground, their feet swished as they climbed into the vehicle - comfy and warm, Eilleen finally felt safe, for the first time in her life, the fear that had shrouded her being became a warm blanket of comfort as she fled into the night.

"Mommy I dont like it here. It's cold and look at the fridge, it's old." Katie began to cry then and sat down on the floor of their new apartment. "I know it isnt the same as home, but look, we can fix it up, and soon it will be okay, how about some milk and cookies in the meantime? We can have a picnic right here on the floor?" Eilleen was exhausted, not happy about the place either, nothing compared to their cozy bungalow. "Look what I brought you!!" She spoke patiently, and held out mama bear, Katie's favorite old stuffed toy that she'd had since the day she was born. Patrick had bought it for her, and the two became fast friends since then, mama bear always stayed with Katie. Katie stopped sniffling and held mama bear tight, and nodded. Chocolate chip cookies were always a win win. After they ate, Katie had a bath in the dingy bathroom, and Eilleen tucked her into bed. "You want a story?" she asked her frightened daughter, who looked so small and tiny, but Katie was already fast asleep. Eilleen started to put some groceries away in the ancient fridge, and was already wondering if this was a huge mistake. This place was a shit hole, and she wasnt so sure now Katie will handle having a new identity, she hadnt even told her about that part yet. Time was all they had now, she would make this work, or, the other option, was to go home to the abuse again. Patrick, well he will freak out when he finds out they were gone, oh boy, she would not want to be around him then, he would of course, know by now, it was two days later. Eilleen had to find out if they were being searched for on the news, she would probably have a kidnapping charge on her, but they were five states away now, they had travelled already for three or four days, she had lost count. This was the beginning, of another nightmare, but a nightmare that would save her and her daughter, it was a choice, to either live or to die at her husbands expense, and she chose the freedom. For now. This was all they had.