Mini Goat

Mini Goat

Mini for short. Yup! That’s me. I am the partner and owner of a fabulously beautiful girl called Emily. Emily has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, a lovely smile and laugh and is, generally speaking, up to scratch. We have a lot of fun together and she looks after me, keeping me presentable for our performances. All in all I can’t complain.

Emily is much admired and needs no introduction to good men. They see her once and that’s it, smitten as they say. The problem is that Emily is still waiting to be smitten. It’s not that she dislikes the opposite sex, it’s just that she has to meet the right one. The problem is, she is spoiled for choice.

I do my best to give a helping hand whenever I get the chance.

We went to the Foresters Arms on Saturday. Emily tagged me along with her because we had finished a concert after 6pm and she badly needed a pick me up and something to eat.

Forries was full of the usual crowd. And I must say I was afraid I might get lost, or left behind in the ensuing haze of drinking. Emily doesn’t drink much but that night she was looking for trouble alright, restless and lonely and bored with life, even with me. Everything seemed like hard work and no play. Sitting at the bar, she picked me up and put me on, so to speak. I’m used to being on stage so I spoke up.

I was leaning on Emily’s arm. Turning my head towards the man next to us I made a” whew” sound,

“Hello, you aren’t half good looking!”

“What? Who spoke?” the young man looked at Emily.

“I did. Me, Mini , here I am right next to you. “

A pair of cool grey eyes looked me over. The man did not laugh.

“Hi Mini, Pleased to meet you.”

“Likewise.” I said.

Emily did not move a muscle.

“My name is Adrian, who’s your friend?”

“Emily but she is in a foul mood today and not talking.”

“Oh then I might as well talk to you instead. Had a busy day?”

“You could say so, we had a matinee performance today which went on too long with curtain calls etc.”

“Where do you perform Mini?”

“Here and there , there and here.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“One place we are going to on Monday, is the Convention Centre.”

“Oh what time is that? Maybe I can come and watch?”

“We’ll be there round eleven in the morning. That is when the crowd will be biggest.”

“What are you going to perform?”

“We are going to advertise ‘Goat Yoga.”

“What?”

“It’s called Goat Yoga and is yoga for people with a lot of mini goats running around.”

“That sounds exciting , I never heard of that before. What do the goats and people do?”

“ The people do yoga exercises and the goats jump on their backs and snuggle up to them and lick their faces and nibble their bare toes. It makes the people laugh and laugh.”

“Very unusual, where does this Goat Yoga take place?”

“At a cheese farm, the cheese maker is a girl and likes goats and yoga. She says ‘Happy goats make Happy people’”

“Can you invite me to this Goat Yoga event?”

“Sure, next Friday morning at the ‘Wild Goat Cheese Farm.’ Their main object is to make cheese from goat’s milk. The Goat Yoga thing is a hobby.

“Come along Mini, home time.” said Emily and bundled me into my little case. Yes you guessed it, I am a glove puppet. Emily did not look at Adrian, just got up and walked out. No smile, nothing. Killed that one dead I guess.

Before she closed the lid, I winked at Adrian just in case and he winked at me.

We were ready on Monday at the Centre. We had our little corner set up, with photographs of humans and goats at Goat Yoga, with the kid goats rollicking around. We had a short video for back up material in case of drying up, which is more or less like writer’s block, only verbal.

Just then Adrian strolled up into our orbit. He pulled up a chair and sat down, looking at us, in a bemused kind of way.

“ Morning Mini and Emily, can I gatecrash and be a third party? I’ll do it for free.”

“Well that’s a cheek I must say. Who asked you to come anyway?” said Emily.

I gave Adrian full marks for trying. Emily busied herself rearranging the photographs.

“Tell me more about Goat Yoga Mini.”

“That’s why I am here to explain it . Goats make people laugh for some reason which no one can fathom. Maybe it's because goats are interested in people and demand attention. Come and see for yourself.”

“Tell me more,” said Adrian.

“When the yogis are in the middle of exercises, the little goats jump around , chew their clothes stand on the backs of those crouching on all fours. They get up to all the goat antics, of which there are many. They offer distraction. Goats like to climb up on things and be higher up than anyone else. The people find it amusing to look up from their yoga poses and see little goat's eyes looking at them, with great curiosity.”

“If we are going to be friends Mini, I have to tell you some things about myself. I am very stubborn and when I want something I don’t give up and what I want, is to be friends with you.”

“ How do we go about that then?”

Adrian put his hand in his coat pocket and pulled out a piece of material, that looked a lot like a sock. He put it on his hand and it turned out to be a fine looking fellow, a buck with a goatee and two lovely brown eyes and horns. He won me over straight away.

“You aren’t half good looking Mini, something we have in common, shall we say, or have already said? What else do we have in common?”

“ We are both goats for starters.”

“What would you like to do with your life, Mini?”

“ I’d like to be famous for something but haven’t decided what. And you?”

“I am not aspiring to anything at present, apart from inviting a lovely girl to take an interest in me.”

Emily suddenly started laughing, laughing so much, she could hardly catch her breath.

“I can’t go on with this pretence of being in a bad mood and not talking.

At the bar the other night, I didn’t think you would answer me. It has been a great help to have you here at the convention. I am intrigued with the way you react to my puppet."

“And you to mine,” said Adrian.

“Do you think then, we can stop playing the giddy goat and get on with making friends ?”

“ More than friends, I hope,” said Adrian, smiling.