Contest #19 shortlist ⭐️

The Man I Want to Be

Submitted into Contest #19 in response to: Write a short story about someone based on their shopping list.... view prompt










Search history:

hot girl takes

hot bitches getting

why am i alone

why dont people like me


Best answer: all bitches want are muscly guys w/ pea brains not fat fucks like us





Mountain Dew

Cheap Flowers (for Mother’s Day- attach note: Sorry I couldn’t make it home this year, but I’m thinking of you.)

A Reason Why She Would Care


Search history:

met a girl

how to flirt

how to get a girls number

why would she ever like me






Bread (White)


Birthday Cake (For Sonia)


Search history:

help with lactose intolerance

girlfriend lactose intolerance

why cant some people eat milk

gastrointestinal meaning


Milk (And Lactaid Pills)



A Vegetable?

Small Gift for Sonia (Jewelry, Book, DVD to watch together? Maybe something stupid to make her laugh)


Search history: 

gifts for girlfriend

what to give girlfriend

first girlfriend

i think i love her already


Best answer: oh, so youv joined the ranks. lets see how long that lasts


Milk (And Lactaid Pills)

Bread (White)


Condoms (Nice)


Search history:

how to make a girl feel good

how to be a good boyfriend

how to improve

do i deserve her?


Online Quiz Result: You have some things to work on, bud, but you’re trying.


Milk (And Lactaid Pills)

XL Shirts (Jesus)


Diet Book?

Self-Help for Dummies


Search history:

gym membership near me

therapist near me

meeting the parents

she makes me feel like someone i could love


Milk (And Lactaid Pills)

L Shirts


Bread (Whole Wheat)


Ring (let’s not be hasty

but I want to I want to so bad)


Search history:

found a pregnancy test



Best answer: fat rip bro


Milk (And Lactaid Pills)

Parenting 101 (Book)

Vodka (lots)


Search history:

am i ready to be a dad

am i good enough


am i a piece of shit


Best answer: yea







Bread (White)


Search history:

cheap apartments near me

cheap furniture

hghaur uahsdklfhualdkjhgyr;a’kllj;

i wnt to die


Text log:

Sonia <3: 

Brian please text me back

Brian i cant do this without you

Brian im seriously i dont know what tp do

i thought you loved me and now you just abandon me i thought we were in this together i love you so much

i cant get rid of it please understand that i know its my choice and im choosing this bc i know i would never be able to live with myself

we talked about kids anyway its just now not five years from now

youve changed so much since weve known each other and so have i you made me realize i was worthy of love and you came so close to being the man you always wanted to be

i wanted my five years from now to be with you i wanted to see the man you would become

maybe that man wasnt all i wanted him to be

maybe that man didnt want to see me


im not even sure why im texting you anymore

youve made yourself perfectly clear

i dont need you

i really dont



So when do I get to meet this girl you’ve been telling me about?




Rope (if you weren’t such a fucking coward)


Search history:

rock bottom

how to renew a gym membership

how to get my life on track

how to apologize

how to be loved


Best answer: just try, bro.





Cake (Dairy Free)


Something From the Heart


Search history:

sticking to resolutions

how to be patient

how to earn back trust

how to stop dropping things when i panic


Text log:

Sonia <3:

I won’t need those diapers for at least six months

but i appreciate it



i know it doesn’t begin to make up for what ive put you through these past few weeks

but i promise i will make it up to you if it takes me the rest of my life

im never going to abandon you again no matter what life throws at us, sonia, because i love you so much and you have made me into the man i want to be

i am not him yet but i will be him someday for you. that man will never do what i did again

i will wait a hundred hundred years if i have to living in this shitty apartment filled with roaches and that shakes whenever the elevator goes and i dont care so long as i can come home to you in the end



More Moving Boxes

Parenting Books

Chocolate (Dairy Free)

Paint (baby safe? how can you tell?)


Something Nice for Sonia


Search history:

why am i so nervous

when is it ok to say i love her again

how to prove i love her

do many dads panic when they find out about pregnancy?


Overnight Bag (Nicer)

Flowers (for Mom)

Plane Ticket (for Mom)

Something Nice for Mom (TALK to her)

Little Baby Boots (the cute ones)


Search history:

im so scared 

how often do births go wrong


I cant lose her


Best answer: everything will be okay, dude. we're with you. remember that youre not alone and you have us and your mom and even your girl (even though she probably doesnt need to hear about YOUR worries right now, lolol)




Baby Monitor

Bibs (Do they make vomit-resistant ones?)

Something Nice for Sonia


Search history:

how to be a good dad

how to be a good husband

how to be a good man

ive never felt worth more than

when i hold them in my arms

December 09, 2019 20:46

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