I Just...I Don't Know

“I remember,” the narrator laughed, closing his eyes, “when the character kept getting trapped in the villains’ worlds, having to save herself from those evil creatures again and again. One group sure was hell-bent on overtaking that book’s world should she not succumb to the life of luxury they promised her. I remember this tale well!”                             

The campfire crackled and flickered, as if reliving the memory, too.             

The narrator continued. “The girl dashed through the huge hand spiders’ sticky, stringy, gluey webs. These unusual creatures’ nails were actually claws—the spiders’ legs were long, thin, pointed black talons with red tips. They scuttled out from the black yawning oval holes of the trees, hissing at her and then spitting threats in hoarse, misty voices.                   

The girl kept running, her long raven-black hair whipping behind her as she ran from the creepy, eerie dark forest to a world with spirals and swirls and stairs all escalating to nothing. She just kept running and running, soon panting, having stopped for breath. She sat down, refusing to let her mind get distracted by the swirling spirals and spiraling swirls. The stairs just kept going and going, never stopping. It seemed they’d reach the heavens, above the clouds. But they just kept going—above the heavens, above the clouds and transcending space even.

Where did they go?          

But the girl kept her head straight. Where to next? Where do we go now?  

“Come on!”

“Yeah, let’s go!”

“What are you waiting for?”

Voices all around her, it seemed. But, she knew, they were coming from people somewhere in this world. Somewhere within these spiraling swirls and swirling spirals. Somewhere in this escalation of endlessly stair climbing. Suddenly, three emerald, sapphire and ruby-shirted characters. They were neither girl nor boy, but just characters with blue eyes, brown eyes and olive eyes, all guiding her throughout this weird, wacky world. One demonstrated intelligence (showing her all the places to avoid and why) with the ability to fly. Another could see in complete darkness and breathe underwater. The third talked to the strange animals lurking about just outside one particular room and shapeshifting into them. The girl and her new friends ran on and on, always entering one world, defeating the villains and then going on to the next world. It just went on and on, never ending.

Soon, the girl slowed down, and stopped. “Maybe,” she furrowed her brows, “this book never ends. I don’t know, but I have a feeling we’ll be overcoming our foes forever. We’ll never win. We’ll just keep rounding up the cowboys and jailing them, or locking the thieves up in jail, or chasing the sirens away from the sailors. It’d go on forever. Nothing would stop completely. This problem, the girl realized, is something worth discussing.

She imagined herself somewhere, and was sitting on a springy bed. Those voices were people now.

“My family needs me to finish reading this story! Please—can you help me get back to reality?”

One nodded. She looked at them all. One had a bluish-grey face, a little angular in shape. It looked Asian, but the eyes were not slit like that of an Asian. The one in sapphire clothing—very similar, almost indistinguishable, from the first. The third one, the same, only wearing a ruby shirt.  

“I just don’t know why we keep running. What exactly are we running from?” The girl yawned, looking longingly over at the pillow. She couldn’t just relax. She looked up at the night sky. A grey cloud partly covered the moon, preventing its light from brilliantly shining forth. She saw a graveyard and spiders’ webs covering some of the headstones. It’s like Halloween out there. Forever.  

“Is this Halloween?”

The one closest to her bobbed its head. The girl told one of them to whistle for an animal. It did. A horse blacker than the night outside crashed through the small window, sending glass shards everywhere. The girl, spreading a huge daring smile on her face, leapt onto the glorious animal, clutched its mane. She demanded it to carry her away towards the source of evil.

They all jumped on. As they galloped, the girl charged into and out of each world, defeating the villains once and for all. She thought of her other preteen friends as she battled swashbucklers and their captain on the pirate’s ship, and into the sea, where the horse dashed through the water, unbridled by the waves, towards the world of lava and bricks and fire and brimstone.                                              

Ahead was a roaring fireplace, with comfy sofas and couches and a wooden coffee table set with fresh fruit and bread. A grey and black cat came up between two couches and meowed, turned and trotted up to the hearth, where it lay down in front of the fire, its back on the girl and her horse. The girl wondered how it wouldn’t get too hot. Her horse snorted, reared its head and pawed the ground, turning around. The girl patted its neck, soothing it. But the stubborn animal threw up its head and neighed, rearing up only to come down upon the sand of a town owned by the Wild, Wild West.   

Horses, ridden by cowboys and sheriffs, stampeded towards the wide-eyed, panicking girl. The horse took off, the girl almost falling off. She grabbed the mane, and straightened herself. She wondered aloud where they were going.

“Make it end!”

After a while, the horses grew tired, their riders asking one another whether this story would happen forever. As the hooves thundered across a lone, wild, hot desert, the wind and sand created a sand tornado. The girl’s eyes went bigger than before, and filled with terror. Then, she found herself thrown forward onto a large pile of sand. Her horse sounded like it was behind her.

The girl got up slowly, coughed and studied her surroundings. Seagulls cried above a galactic amount of ocean, flying fish jumped in and out like dolphins playing with each other. A couple of dolphins splashed right near the girl, making her grin and point at them like a little child. Then she stopped and frowned back at the threesome. Two were rubbing their heads, walking around, and another was standing, wondering where he was.

“Hey! Why aren’t you enjoying the show?”        

The three friends looked at her, and all of them put their heads together. They looked back at her. “You must defeat the evil in this book. We can’t just stand here. Once you do, you’ll end the story!”  

She looked at them, frustration biting at her. “Come on, it’s just a relaxation period. We can continue the—”

“No, we must leave. Or the book will close, and we’ll be trapped here forever!”

“Who’s writing it?”

“Doesn’t matter! We need to go.” One of them dashed over to the horse, whose nostrils flared and neighs screamed into the sky. “We leave now!” She mounted the horse again. Before they knew it, they found themselves amidst circus clowns and jesters entertaining a clapping, cheering audience. The girl jumped off, calling to the ringleader. But the person didn’t listen, whipping out a finger and announcing to the excited audience that it was the horses’ turn to display their sapphire and gold harnesses and hooves all glittery and sparkling in the sunlight. Since the ringleader was too busy running the show, she topped her horse once again in front of the threesome.    

But as they crashed from one world to the next, the girl asked the threesome whether she’d be able to win against the evil. They said they didn’t know. The horse took breaks here and there but never ceased from galloping.

Until they all stopped at a brook with singing birds and chattering, hungry squirrels during a beautiful spring day with cherry blossoms and dogwood trees all lavender, lemon yellow, violet purple and fuchsia flowers staring back at the world. In space, they hopped from one planet to the next, the stars shooting left and right, the girl in awe. She looked back, grinning. She said she wanted to see her family again. Listen to treasured family memories told every Thanksgiving and Christmas and giving thanks for such loving people surrounding her with smiles and laughter all around.

Her friends asked her whether she’d like to live in any of these worlds. She said if her family joined her. Finally, they all stopped at a campfire, as the girl said she was tired. One of the friends relieved the horse of its bit, and it walked it over to a log, where it lay down. They all sat at the blazing fire.   

The girl yawned. “Where are they?” She looked around. “I wish I had a place to sleep.”

One of the threesome jumped up. “Let’s go! We don’t have all the time in the world. I know this book never ends, but if you don’t end it, who will? We’ll be stuck here forever.”

The threesome mounted the girl’s horse again. “Come on—you don’t want to be stuck here, do you?”      

“No—” The girl scrambled up the horse and told it to go in the direction of that cat and fire. After cheering, the threesome said that that place was where evil lay and that it should be destroyed at once—just like all the villains in the other worlds! As she galloped, the girl shook her head as the threesome chattered to each other. I’m going home, whether it takes a second or a million years! I can save the book some time later. My family comes first. Like it always has.  

The girl closed her eyes, imagining herself back home. She grinned satisfactorily, and got right up off her bed, heading towards the living room to continue that book. Suddenly, her brother dashed in, holding a Golden Retriever puppy. “Got him from the pound. Dad and Mom helped me pick him out!”         

“Wow! What a cutie.” The girl grinned, heading towards the living room. She said she’ll read the book. Her parents looked at her with curious stares but then joined her. “Okay—let’s hear it.” Dad called Tameron and Claudia into the living room. The girl looked at all of them and then down. She furrowed her brows. Maybe…if Tameron’s always sleeping…

“Come on, slowpoke. Let’s read the book!”

As Mom and Dad chastised Claudia, the girl continued. Well, here I go, threesome. Don’t be mad I’m not there to save the day. She continued where she left off. When Mom and Dad announced they’d take a break to make dinner, the girl imagined herself back with her friends. She found them, crossed arms and raised eyebrows, standing together with the black horse. “What?” She countered. “Do you want me to apologize for not being a family member? My family comes first!”   

“Whatever.” The threesome jumped on the horse, and it galloped away. The girl’s shoulders slumped, and she frowned. Why was that ringleader so cold towards me? The lights of the circus were so bright they cast just a silhouetted portrait of him (or her). The girl hopped back into the book. I guess I’ll have to invite them when it’s the right time. For now, I need to save the day!

The girl searched for her friends and her horse, and saw them around the campfire. She ran up to them, but they all decried her trust. “Look who showed up to breach our trust completely!”

“Yeah—and Stampede’s!”

“Who’s Stampede!”

One of them jerked a thumb back, and the girl looked over. The horse, or Stampede, bobbed its head, as if agreeing. The girl sighed. “Look, guys, I know I’m—”

“A liar.”

“A liar, but please.” The girl studied the fire. “I just…memories are great. But family memories are even better—especially around a campfire.”      

“We’re all going to be trapped here, thanks to you?!” One of the threesome jumped up, balls fisted. “Let’s see how good this knuckle sandwich tastes in your mouth!” It rushed up to her, hand thrust back, but one of the others scrambled up and tackled it to the ground. They fought until the third one yelled at both of them, and then all three started arguing. The girl intervened, but the threesome soon settled the matter, returning to the bonfire. One of them looked over at her, and jerked its head full of hair, the roots of which were dyed sapphire. She walked over, and wrapped her arms around her ankles. More people happened to be there. She studied their shirts.  

Sapphire, ruby and emerald shirted friends sat next to gold, magenta, rose and crystal shirted friends on the other side of the fire. These friends, one explained, had the powers of growing plants and sea life (gold), seeing into the future and stopping evil (magenta) and turning rotten or broken things into beautiful things by forming them into beautiful things (rose). The one with the crystal shirt didn’t have powers. It just befriended with its sweet, kind, selfless personality. It said it told the one with sapphire shirt to invite me over.

The girl smiled small, looked at the fire and then shivered. She looked behind her. Squinting, she saw a fire and then a cat. That room! The girl dashed over before anyone could say anything. Racing towards it, the girl burst in. the cat looked back at her calmly, and then returned to the fire. The girl watched it warily as she went in between the two couches and lay down, snuggling in for the night. Smiling to herself, she thought, This is exactly where I want to be. I don’t need some—

“Friends to help you out?”

The girl jerked up, looking around. “Who’s there?”

A gorgeous group of girls entered the room, smiling welcomingly at her. “Join us—and Candies—and we will treat you to your heart’s content. We’re princesses of this palace, and we invite you as an honored guest.” The girl looked at one of their beautiful earrings glistening in the firelight. The hearth did look inviting, and the cat’s fur did look soft. It even curled up in front of the firelight, looking at her for once. The other young girls smiled cheerily, beckoning her. “Come on, we’ll—”

The girl was at the cheeriest girl’s side, and she talked to her, her words smooth as oil and sweet as honey. Although she’d never admit it to those people over there at that campfire, the girl noticed the fire die a little at a time. She still edged closer and closer to it, as it was the only source of heat in this medieval-looking home. But the more she did so, the more she felt an emptiness. The cat had moved out of the way.

“I’m cold.” The girl stubbornly said. “I’m hungry.”

Over the next months, the girl became a princess. She saw their feet were clawed and scary-black. Widening her eyes, the girl jumped up and started backing away, the stones underneath turning into ugly, yucky yellow and brown weeds as the girls came towards her.

“You’re…you’re the evil the threesome were talking about!”

The girls talked to her as they kept walking, their mangled feet crushing the very life out of flowers, grass and fruits and vegetables, replacing them with hideous weeds and dandelions.  

“We are your true friends—”

“I have a name. It’s Nomad—”

“Don’t leave us. We’re queens of those worlds you conquered. Don’t you want to belong?”  

Their clothes slowly melted into dresses, like those hand spiders’ webs, all eerie and black. The voice of the person with the crystal shirt said, “If you join them, then you’ll become one of them. You’ll never walk out of that palace returning to your family. You’ll become an evil princess. You’ll enter, but you’ll never leave!”

“Look,” another good voice cried out. “They’re devilish, fork-tongued, cackling creatures, with their long claws and whisperingly quiet voices bringing you to your doom! Look—they’re transforming right in front of you. Can’t you see it?”

The girls ignored these voices, cheerily inviting the inquisitive but oblivious girl to live with them forever as a beloved monarch. The girl growled angry threats at her friends, and left for the palace, dining and living with these new friends instead. One night, the friends, especially the one with the crystal shirt, revisited her. “Come on!” It pleaded. “Let’s go home.”

The girl hesitated. But the palace and my throne and beautiful, exquisite garments! She looked back at the palace. “Yeah—but I can’t go back and forth between my real family and my family of friends here. It's just too much. I can’t force others to make memories with me!” The girl turned on the other person. “And you can’t do that with me, either!”

“Remember all the memories you’ve made with us—your real friends? All these past experiences with these girls—they’re just nightmares. Don’t trust them. Even your real family—when you’re not with them, they’re memorable. Just invite them here, and you’ll make great adventurous memories with them!”   

The girl spat that it’d have to find another savior somewhere else, and returned to that palace.     

The narrator laughed. “I still wonder…when would she burst out those castle doors, a huge grin on her face? I even dreamt that her friends came running towards her, and she at them, wrapping her arms around the relieved, smiling, hugging people group. “My true story family!”

But the person with the crystal shirt on said that the girl revisited her family, bringing her siblings, Tameron and Claudia, as well as her school friends—her real friends—as everyone—shirted people included—adventured together, battling more evil foes as they came but always winning in the end.

But I hope it’s right. I hope the girl really did win.

Win over those palace palaces.