An afternoon at the cinerama

Jenny is pregnant. We've been waiting for this to happen for a while. Well, she was waiting for a while. I was dreading the whole thing. For a while.

We married two years ago.

"Greg" she came to me one day. "I think I'm ready to have kids now. And if we wait any longer, it might be too late" she said. I knew this has been stewing for a while in her head. I tried to postpone this conversation for as long as I could, but Jenny had enough. "I want two or even three kids, and if we start in a few years from now then we wouldn't have any gaps between them and it's just going to be that much harder, and we're never really going to have money and it is stupid to wait all this time" she continued on and on. She got all worked up about it.

"sweetie, calm down. let's do it" I said. Hope appeared instantly in Jenny's eyes.

"yeah?!, you mean it?".

"Let's do it, if that's what you want" I took her in my arms, trying to calm her down as much as I could but I feared that until we're back home from a hospital with an infant in our arms nothing will calm her down.

"what do you mean if that's what you want? Don't you feel we are ready for it?" she pleaded. We are so ready for this!".

"we are ready for this. Mentally. Financially we're really not there yet, and you know it". Any hope that appeared before in Jenny's eyes vanished before I even finished the sentence.

"this is ridiculous. Poor people have kids every day. You will see. Once we have kids, the money will come as well". she was clearly on a mission. I feared she was trying to convince herself more than me.

And so, Jenny got pregnant. She was ecstatic. Singing all day with happiness. I have never seen her like this. I guess this really was her dream. For me it meant one thing. I will have to get myself together and take that awful job in Frank's office. I already called him saying that I would be happy to join his company. He is giving me a sales position. Never mind the fact that i have exactly zero experience in sales.

I have known Frank my entire life. or Frankie as I used to call him. We went back all the way to kindergarten. After high school we sort of split and went to different directions. He went to business school and I enlisted in the army. It was not easy to go back to civilian life after I was discharged. And I getting a good job was not as easy as I had hoped

"Don't worry about it man. I will teach you whatever you need to know. We have a great sales training program here. by the time I'm done with you, you will be able to sell glasses to a blind man. Trust me. I remember your amazing bullshiting skills from high school. You're a natural.. Ha ha ha". He is even more annoying than I remembered. I wasn't even sure what was his product exactly. All he said was "we are selling a dream man. We are selling a dream". Not ambiguous at all. but hey. It's money. It's good money and god knows it's exactly what I needed.

The first day of work arrived and I found myself listening to some guy preaching "you see, people? we are selling a dream here. It is your job to get the client to buy it. It is your job to get whatever money he saved for his kids, grand kids, mortgage, a lake house, a new car, or vacation. Whatever last penny the client has, it is your job to make him realize why it would be the most brilliant thing for him to place his money safely with us". He used air quotes when her sad the word safely and winked. Jeez, this guy sounded like a real sleazeball.

Strangely enough, his speech brough me back to a different speech I heard when I was in the fifth grade.

"did you hear?" there is going to be a screening tonight. At the Cinerama. You're coming with, right? right?" Frankie jumped around next to me like a puppy. "everybody's going to be there".

               "what screening. I didn't hear about anything" I said half yawning, trying to keep my eyes open for longer than 10 seconds. I just arrived in class

               "Armagedon, daaa!!. The coolest movie ever!! My mom said it's ok for me to go see it. I hope you saved some money. Because it's two and a half dollars". Frankie was the jumpy kind of character. Always enthusiastic. Always up for anything. I didn't even know why I was friends with him back then. We certainly grew apart as the years went by. I guess I was friends with him because he was the first boy who approached me on the first day of kindergarten. The best basis for a friendship.

               "yeah" I said. that sounds cool. I think it will probably be ok with my folks".

At 14:30 in the afternoon the bell rang, and Frankie yelled from across the room "I'll see you there Greg" and exited the classroom. "See you soon bud" I yelled back to no one. He was already gone by the time I finished the sentence.

At 17:10 I arrived at the Cinerama. Honestly, Cinerama was a bit too fancy a name for that place. It was basically a huge room with a few posters from the latest movies that were playing at the time. Some guy rented it and decided to make a few dollars. It was the closest thing to a cinema we had in the area. The best thing about it was that since it was so close to everybody's house we could go alone, unchaperoned. No parents. We felt like grownups.

the screening already started, and everybody were seated. Frankie and I arrived 10 minutes late. "two and a half dollars please" the guy at the entrance said.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a 10-dollar bill.

"I don't have any change to give you right now" the guy said. "come back and pay after the end of the screening".

"alright" I said.

The movie was great. By the time it was finished I could find that guy anywhere. I went home feeling happy I did not have to pay for the movie. In fact, I was so happy I did not have to spend any money, I came to my dad and told him all about it.

"dad, dad, you wouldn't believe it. I was just at the Cinerama. They didn't have any change to give me and I couldn't find the guy anywhere after the movie, so I just went home. I did not pay anything. How cool is that?! I got to keep all the money to myself.

I expected my dad to be happy for this as well. But his reaction was different "son, how is this a good thing?" he said. The look on his face was severe now.

"what do you mean, I got to see a free screening. I didn't need to spend any money".

"you took somebody's livelihood. This is they guys' work and you did not pay for it. Imagine I go to work for the day and at the end of the day I don't get paid. How will we eat if I don't get paid? How will I buy things for our house? For your mom or for you? How will you ever have pocket money to go to the cinema if I don't get money for my hard work. And that's what you just did. You took money from somebody. Somebody who worked very hard for it'.

He turned around and went into the kitchen. leaving me there with my own thoughts.

What do I know about all of this? I did not know how to respond to this. I did not know anything about livelihood. I did not know anything about dad's work, how he buys us food or where my pocket money come from? I was in the fifth grade. How was I to know any of these things?

That night I did not sleep well. I did not sleep at all. Dad's speech left me confused and my head was filled with guilt and regret. How could I do that? Now this guys' kids are not going to have anything to eat and it's all because of me? 

The next day, after school, I went to the Cinerama. They guy from last night was there moving around some chairs and arranging them in rows.

"hey mister" I called out. No response. "MISTER!" I yelled again. He finally turned around. I was so happy he saw me.

"I came to give you the two and a half dollars I owed you from last night. Remember? I did not pay you in the end.

"hey, kiddo" he smiled at me. " did you come back just for this? "

"well yes. This is the money owe you" I said and practically shoved the bill in his face.

"keep it, kiddo".

"NOOO!" I protested. "How are you going to feed your kids??".

               "Excuse me?" he giggled. I didn't understand why he laughed at me. Here I was trying to make sure his kids have everything they need, and he laughs at me.

               "Please take this money, mister. Please" I was welling up.

               "Alright, alright. No need to get all worked up. I will take the money. You just calm yourself down". I was so relieved when he finally took the money from my hand I almost started crying.

               "And so" the trainer went on and as I came back to reality. "we have all kinds of resisting techniques. What I mean by that, let us imagine somebody says to you 'hey I can't really spend money now. I have to save some for my daughter's wedding'. How are you going to convince him to give you ALL his money?"