Now that I am all grown up,those pics in my cellphone made me remember that day, at the age of six, that my mother woke me up really early.
- We are going out. Take it ! – and she put a full peanut butter sandwich lunch box to the desk in the corner of my bedroom.
took my pajamas out and dressed me with a white blouse, white socks and a pleated dark blue skirt - no way ! – saying: never let somebody touch you, looking repeatedly at her wristwatch, bursting into a big :
- Hurry up ! We are late !
- Late ? What for ? – I asked, with my characteristic listening inclination.
- The front door of the school will close! – yelling again.
- School? – asking with my unique hyena laugh style.
- Yes – taking me to an old building two blocks away from my house.
The front door was opened and full of parents all around, crying the unavoidable and elongated good by to theirs kids.
Relieved, my mom kissed my forehead with tears in her eyes, saying :
- Now, you are going to change, you are going to become intelligent and you will grow by learning how to be responsible . And that is important for you, dear, for your life, your future. Thag is why you have to go to school, and listen to your teacher, do your homework, learn the lessons she will teach you . And, please behave ! – handing in some coins from her pocket.
- It is time – tapping my head before leaving me in that building full of crosses and saints hanging on those tall gray walls.
At first , the walls frightened me.
I felt they were too tall, almost unreachable.
- What if I can not get away from here ? – I asked myself , looking at my courageous mom, fearless getting into that bleak corridor.
I hesitated a little bit , I guess, ‘cause the scare persisted.
It was there, vivid, and almost touching my delicate soul, eager to find a shelter for its own sake.
With all the previous worry, I imagined that school was important for my mom.
I did not have the intention to break our tender relationship, so, I looked at that huge wooden cross at the entrance of the building.
Then, a miracle happened: a light came to me, reflecting every single vibration its existence could perform over my head.
What happened ? Was it true ?
Well, I think that, in fact,I was just trying to adapt myself to the new reality, the one that was starting to take control of my childhood – the only thing I had at that moment that I had to face no matter what, no matter how.
That light told me it was not definite.
- Things can change – I remember saying that to myself, not as a child but as a person I was supposed to start being, according to what my mom have said to me that morning, as I was in a kind of adaptation process things would really change.
- Ok – I said, looking for some little girl fooling around like me.
- If I find a nice and friendly girl I can become friend of her - I thought, crazily turning my eyes upside down .
But it was the first day of school.
- They are all playing and they are all running and laughing.
- Where is the teacher ? And where is my classroom ?
As I was frankly lost into my questions, I started to walk around the school.
Without realizing where I was going to, I ended getting into an open rustic wooden door.
- Wait a minute ! I can't see a thing in here. It is so dark – recognizing the closed curtains and a table with some boxes on it. Also, a chair, and a wardrobe on the left.
My feet went backwards, in fear.
- I have to leave this place – I said to myself while I was trying to reach the light switch, unsuccessfully.
Suddenly, I remember seeing the door of the wardrobe slightly opening.
With my eyes opened from ear to ear, I listened some female voice moaning.
And a male one as well.
- What is going on in there ? – asked my curiosity, freezing my senses and movements.
Then, I had a glimpse of the situation when I found the shine of drops of what I think was the sweat covering a curly haired and naked man body, who was licking what I think was the sweat and naked body of a blond woman.
Paralysed by that scene, I run away, leaving the door opened.
I guess I made some noise, as they stopped whining and got into the wardrobe, according to what I could hear from outside that room, in the corridor.
I think it took me some seconds, so I went back to the playground in the central yard, not before kneeling down to the golden cross at the entrance of the yard, very well guarded by some flowers and unlit candles standing on the floor .
I stood there for a while, buying some candies with the coins my mother gave me.
A girl talked to me :
- What is your name?
- Andrea. Do you want to play with my collection Barbies ?
- I think so – I answered, looking at their fancy dresses and lovely haircuts.
We played for about fifteen minutes, so, for that moment, I had forgotten the previously happenings, as my attention was driven to the doll cooking, dancing and romance with her boyfriend, the Adonis Ken.
After that interval of time, a medieval scrape of a bell called our attention, and we took our dolls inside our paybacks.
- Time to go! - I said, placing myself behind that chubby freckled girl , who did not even looked at me again – and I am almost sure she did not notice my presence there, due to Ken, and that chewing gum she was nervously chewing, fast and furious, till the bell rang and hit my ears so strongly that it forced me to stop the already forgotten search in order to pay attention to a voice coming out from a speaker set at the right corner of my classroom, under the stairs that led to superior courses that I never realized it existed.
We stayed in the queue we formed in front of the classroom, guided by a young auxiliary teacher did not have the key of the entrance of that room
- Fine. I will go to the principal office to bring it. Wait here!! - she said, leaving us there.
Fifteen minutes later,according to the clock hanging on that other gray wall, I heard the heavy footsteps of someone coming closer.
For my surprise, I saw a blond woman coming together with a curlied hair man.
- A blond and a curly….wait a moment ! They look somehow familiar …where gave I seen them before? Where ? – trying to flash my memory back, from the moment I stepped into that place. And walking in my mind by that corridor again, I saw the wardrobe.
I have found them. I am sure I know these guys! They are the same naked ones that were getting into that wardrobe! – I concluded,
At that same moment, the auxiliary arrived, holding some keys in his hand.
And gave it to the blond woman, the one that allowed touching her naked body going against my mother's rules.
Maybe….could the rules be wrong? Could my mother be wrong ? The teacher?
Was the institution of truth and lie falling down in the mediocrity of somerules that nobody followed?
Was it the so clled adulthood ?
That unconscious questions filled my heart with anger, destroying every pint of trust I could still have .
- Teacher , here are the keys !
What ? – I asked myself, in complete disbelief on the things I was listening .
So, she was my teacher? The naked one?
I do not believe!
I must be dreaming!
The second surprise came fast – and furious too, when I saw the curled man coming behind her.
- Principal, please speak to the students about the school rules – the blonde teacher asked, smiling.
The rules were imposed.
But why were they hiding in a wardrobe?
Was it forbidden?
If so, why were they talking about rules in school?
It made no sense at all.
Sure, schools should teach us how to he responsible, but I do not think they are capable to do it.
At the time of the principal’ speech , he mentioned some evaluation procedures, festivities, sport activities.
And rules, like bullying and sexual harassment.
- What? – yelling. You do not have the right to talk about it to the students! We are not puppets,I saw you both hiding yourselves into the wardrobe , naked !- pointing my finger to their nasty astonished faces.
The teacher called the assistant.
- Take that girl ! – ordered her, in some way fast and furious.
- the assistant took me by the arm and led me to the principal office.
My classmates just looked at me, certainly not understanding a thing that was going on in there.
Of course, I did not accept it , trying to escape from her hands.
- You will be punished- she said to me, smiling.
And that is how I was banished from school and lost my faith in education – or should I call it domestication?